Idiot Parade
Well, I had an interesting experience with someone online this evening.
I got a message from a user on a gay bear internet site. Very adorable, I thought. Profile seemed nice, there was some fun flirty banter. Of course, I realized he was from Orange County, so the chances that anything would actually happen were pretty slim. He joked --- I hope he was joking -- about me jumping on a train and heading south. Well, I have rules about that sort of thing. Neither of us was looking for a hookup or NSA, so what exactly was supposed to happen if I got down there and we hit it off? I'm not planning to move, and I certainly wouldn't assume he would.
So, I decided it was time to slow the train down, as it were. I commented that the long distance -- though I had a little Freudian slip and called it "dong distance" --- thing just doesn't work for me. I added that if he had any single friends up in this area, I'd be most gracious if he were to pass along his glowing evaluation of my profile and pictures there. Ah, trouble...
"WHY WOULD I DO THAT?? I LIKE YOU!!! WHY WOULD I TELL THEM ABOUT YOU?"
Yellow alert. By this time I'm chatting with a friend who's also on the site and I'm sharing this with them as it happens -- their IM client be damned, since I can't just pull the chat log from it. Even before my rules kick in he says "BLOCK HIM". I agree, but maybe he misunderstood? So I send a brief explanation that while it won't work with someone so far away at least he could pass on the good word. I forget his exact reply, but the clue phone was out of order.
Red alert. I simply close the window and move back to my other conversations. I start to get the idea that he has understood that my lack of reply means this is done. Not so. A few minutes later I get "where'd you go?" "Back to sanity," I think to myself. It's clear now this guy has stalker potential.
Blocked. Done.
I don't mind an admirer from out of the blue and having a bit of fun. If he's local and it looks like it's clicking, I'd love to meet, bone, whatever works. But imagining that you know me enough to "LIKE [ME]" after just a few moments of conversation, and have a real idea I'm going to jump on a train to come see you, then something is amiss. I remember making the comment to him that the Internet is both a blessing, in that it makes our world smaller and more accessible, and also a curse, in that it often connects people in ways they can't follow up in real life. Perhaps in this case that was all for the best.
I got a message from a user on a gay bear internet site. Very adorable, I thought. Profile seemed nice, there was some fun flirty banter. Of course, I realized he was from Orange County, so the chances that anything would actually happen were pretty slim. He joked --- I hope he was joking -- about me jumping on a train and heading south. Well, I have rules about that sort of thing. Neither of us was looking for a hookup or NSA, so what exactly was supposed to happen if I got down there and we hit it off? I'm not planning to move, and I certainly wouldn't assume he would.
So, I decided it was time to slow the train down, as it were. I commented that the long distance -- though I had a little Freudian slip and called it "dong distance" --- thing just doesn't work for me. I added that if he had any single friends up in this area, I'd be most gracious if he were to pass along his glowing evaluation of my profile and pictures there. Ah, trouble...
"WHY WOULD I DO THAT?? I LIKE YOU!!! WHY WOULD I TELL THEM ABOUT YOU?"
Yellow alert. By this time I'm chatting with a friend who's also on the site and I'm sharing this with them as it happens -- their IM client be damned, since I can't just pull the chat log from it. Even before my rules kick in he says "BLOCK HIM". I agree, but maybe he misunderstood? So I send a brief explanation that while it won't work with someone so far away at least he could pass on the good word. I forget his exact reply, but the clue phone was out of order.
Red alert. I simply close the window and move back to my other conversations. I start to get the idea that he has understood that my lack of reply means this is done. Not so. A few minutes later I get "where'd you go?" "Back to sanity," I think to myself. It's clear now this guy has stalker potential.
Blocked. Done.
I don't mind an admirer from out of the blue and having a bit of fun. If he's local and it looks like it's clicking, I'd love to meet, bone, whatever works. But imagining that you know me enough to "LIKE [ME]" after just a few moments of conversation, and have a real idea I'm going to jump on a train to come see you, then something is amiss. I remember making the comment to him that the Internet is both a blessing, in that it makes our world smaller and more accessible, and also a curse, in that it often connects people in ways they can't follow up in real life. Perhaps in this case that was all for the best.