Wait... I'm a Masochist?
When Courtney left from my birthday dinner table, she paused to look back and said "I really need to beat you." She wasn't kidding! We'd bounced around on a few possible days, but today was it. After going to the SX munch, I headed home to freshen up, make some minor wardrobe changes, and wind down a bit more before heading over to Edges. Apparently I was almost to the point of being left behind, since as I walked in the door to sign in I was greeted by "Well, there's the motherfucker!" from all the way across the social area. LOL
As it turned out, there were many familiar faces at the dungeon tonight. I got to see Suzi (I think I have the spelling correct) in a reprise of her Folsom outfit -- gorgeous! -- and ... oh crap, I've forgotten her name again. Have I mentioned I'm horrible with names? Never fear, I *will* remember it before too long. As I was a bit late arriving to the party, we chatted for just a few moments and then headed on into the dungeon.
There were already a few scenes going on in the dungeon, which was a delightful source of naughty sounds. There were also some good tunes playing, which always helps the mood. It seemed that D and I would be the first targets of the evening. We set up on either side of the suspension frame for different scenes. Courtney had brought with her quite an array of implements, and as I'm apt to I got into position without spending too much time looking at them all.
I'm never really quite sure how my mind will flow as a scene begins. We did not spend much time discussing what was going to happen. I tend to leave that in the hands of the Dom/Top, especially once we've played to the point where we are comfortable with one another. I had commented as we started that it occured to me it had been two years since Courtney and I had had a bonafide scene together. But we quickly got into a nice ryhthm so whatever concern I had over how things might flow quickly melted away.
As the scene progressed, I could hear people making comments about the sounds and expressions I was making. I really only half-heard these things. Even though I didn't completely zone out, I was damned close to it. The momentary appearance of S or J in front of me proved not to be distracting (which was nice) and added to the playful flavor of the scene that seems to be our natural place when Courtney and I have played. I remember comments like "damn, you sound like you're opening a box of chocolate and are surprised at what's inside" and "jesus, are you laughing?" *snicker* There was also, of course, my usual growling, moaning, and all variety of other sounds I suppose I could hear if recorded but don't always myself remember much.
One thing that was new and interesting is that things went stingy fast. I liked that. It was a nice switch-up from the more gentle, massage-like thuddy play. And there was just enough ebb and flow that I didn't get overwhelmed to the point of distraction... it's so lovely to reach that point with a dom/top for scenes. I think that my experiences with more stingy play, including some singletail-only scenes, have helped me learn how to better process stingy play and be able to get edgier faster in scenes now.
The end result was a not-too-long scene, a nearly exhausted Courtney, none of the toys went unused, and my back was a bloody mess. NIRVANA! Two (or was it three?) times during the scene we stopped briefly to apply alcohol to my back. For the first, Courtney said "you're bleeding" and I think I responded with "go for the alcohol." It offers such a lovely burn and settles those silly bleeders down so that play needn't stop. Can't have that now can we?
Below are some of the pics we took afterward to capture the carnage that is my back.
I still find myself surprised how far I can go. In fact, I'm always sure I haven't gone as far as I have. So I have learned to really listen to the reactions from people around me, as a means of helping to gauge just where the heck I went during the scene. I know I'm a masochist and a pain pig -- though I still share with folks how I had to actually have someone sit me down and explain this to me, as I really don't think of it as something painful and awful. There is just something about the way my brain is wired that doesn't actually let me translate this stuff as bad... at least if I don't get so overwhelmed that I can't process it as fast as it comes. In fact, in processing the pain/sensation and getting into headspace (thanks, endorphins) I think that I feel more like I'm riding through waves of sensation/emotion more than I'm thinking "damn, that hurt!"
Anyway... both in my own scene with Courtney as well as other antics of the evening, I had a marvelous time. Thank you SO much Courtney. I hope we don't wait another two years before we dance this lovely dance again! *HUG*