Aftercare, Check-ins, and Sub Drop... not for everyone?
Of course, so much of WIITWD revolves around our mental states, emotions, bonds with our partners, etc... so it's highly variable as to what things will or won't be important to folks as they venture down their path. I had an interesting conversation with a new friend today about aftercare and check-ins, and I was left with the question... are these things really not for everyone? Or are some of us just more needy than others?
For myself, aftercare is essential. How it happens can vary widely between partners. It can be full on cuddling and caressing, or just being nearby to check in occasionally. But I personally have not had many situations in which I've done a full-on scene and not had some kind of shared coming down or closure in that moment. I'm curious what others perspectives are on this because I really found myself starting to re-examine why I might feel the need for this, and whether it's just a crutch.
Check-ins, while perhaps less common, also seem important to me -- and I've heard it echo'ed by others. But, again, I now have to ask... are they essential? Is it acceptable, or maybe even desirable, to let the submissive decide when they need an extra helping hand? Or this is just so highly individualized that one cannot really make a generic assertion that this really needs doing?
With so many aspects of our activities, we tend to shrug off the notion that things must happen this way or that. I count myself among them in a great many ways. But aftercare and checking-in have been ingrained in me as essential items. So I'm checking in with you all to get your opinions... what say you?
For myself, aftercare is essential. How it happens can vary widely between partners. It can be full on cuddling and caressing, or just being nearby to check in occasionally. But I personally have not had many situations in which I've done a full-on scene and not had some kind of shared coming down or closure in that moment. I'm curious what others perspectives are on this because I really found myself starting to re-examine why I might feel the need for this, and whether it's just a crutch.
Check-ins, while perhaps less common, also seem important to me -- and I've heard it echo'ed by others. But, again, I now have to ask... are they essential? Is it acceptable, or maybe even desirable, to let the submissive decide when they need an extra helping hand? Or this is just so highly individualized that one cannot really make a generic assertion that this really needs doing?
With so many aspects of our activities, we tend to shrug off the notion that things must happen this way or that. I count myself among them in a great many ways. But aftercare and checking-in have been ingrained in me as essential items. So I'm checking in with you all to get your opinions... what say you?