Getting Through Christmas

[trollop23]

Coping with depression and coming to grips with the loss of a loved one can be difficult during the holidays. While everyone is talking about spending time with friends and family, the void created by death is more keenly felt.
My situation is especially painful because my little sister’s birthday was Christmas Day. She would have been 41 this year.
I’d like to share a few ideas on how to get through the holidays and maybe even enjoy them a little.

1. Don’t hide how you feel. Bottling up those strong emotions that “special days” can trigger will either cause you to manifest them in ways that can hurt others, or they’ll come out at a bad time. Sometimes you’ll feel guilty about telling someone you trust, you don’t want to be a “downer” at Christmas time. If you don’t want to discuss your issues with someone you know, there are many counselling and support groups out there. Call your local distress center or crisis line. The people who answer those calls care about you and are there to help. They understand what you’re going through and will listen.
   
2. Don’t do stuff that will make you feel shittier. Seriously. Just because other people decide you should do something doesn’t mean you have to do it. If spending Christmas dinner with your grandma is going to make you feel lousy, don’t go. Your peace of mind and mental health are the priority. Noone else knows how fragile you’re feeling, if you’re simply not up to dealing with a houseful of people, you shouldn’t.
   
3. Get active. Thor Harris has said time and again, exercise is not only great for your body, it’s good for your mind. Even if it’s parking farther away from your destination so you get a little walk from your car to the office, it’ll do you good.
   
4. Help someone else. Doing good deeds is a great way to not only help out in your community, it gives you a sense of fulfillment. Volunteer at a soup kitchen, pick up some baby clothes and diapers and take them to a local women’s shelter, shovel your neighbours walk. Making someone’s day a little better will make your day better.
   
5. Don’t worry about what others are thinking. I’m not suggesting that you become insensitive to how others are feeling, but you have no control over what others think. Be a decent human being, do what you know is right and to hell with anyone else. Easier said than done, but keep working at it.
   
6. Remember, being alone doesn’t mean you have to be lonely. If solitude will give you clarity and work on how you can heal, that’s great. On the other hand, if being with people who care about you helps you cope with your situation, do that. Only you know what your heart needs.

These are a few things that are helping me cope with the loss of my sister, if they work for you that’s great. If not, take a good look at your situation and do what is right for you. If you don’t feel you’re up to doing this on your own, take advantage of the many programs out there and get help. You deserve to be happy. Truly.