Dinner, dungeons, dragons, 3 headed dogs, and...some new people

[potential_geek]

A few hours after I got off the phone with Andrew, I was stepping off the jet Warren had sent to fetch me, a personal guard or two with me. Once again: stoopid bringers. Once inside the compound, however, there was no need for them, since the place was locked down tighter than Azkaban in Voldemort’s heyday

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[bible_beater]

"I'm sure you can, sir. I was given instructions to show you to the dining hall," the little sop with halitosis said to me, gently putting a tentative set of fingers at my elbow.

"I said I'd find it myself. What did you not understand about that?" I said, carefully, but allowed myself to be directed. I let my feet go where he wanted me to go, mostly to delay the pleasure of tearing his fingers off his hand.

"You were in the Hall of Records, sir. In the ladies' room. In the opposite wing from the dining hall," Mr. Skunk Cabbage added.

I chuckled a bit, glad that I was on my own with him, because then mayhaps nobody would hear it when I stuffed his fingers down his own throat. Just as I turned to him to do so, though, we stopped in front of a large set of double doors. He smiled grimly and said, "And here you are, sir. The dining hall. Sorry to have interrupted your exploration."

And with that, he opened the doors and I walked into the lion's den.

I sucked on my teeth for a second, surveying the room. Sluts and children. Some, it looked like, were both. A bit as I imagined. But, shorter and younger. I slapped a broad smile across my face as I saw Tucker glowering at a pretty young thing that, by the looks of him, could only have been his little brother Andrew.

Crossing the room, unassisted now that shitbreath had dropped me off, I kept my eyes on the Wells brothers and felt my smile gradually turn to smirk. Oh, the familial tension. Gotta love those prodigal sons.

[summoner_tucker]

I'd been sitting, watching the pretty little play unfolding before me in the lobby with a bored sort of disgust. I may have been a loser, but at least I was honest about it. Save for Andrew, all these people were just desperate, whiny little kids who were playing at being powerful.

Andrew wasn't like that though. Andrew lights up wherever he is. He's shy and twitchy and Warren's little bitch in so many ways, but I know there's more. I've seen how brilliant he can be, how gloriously vicious.

And Faith. Faith had something glowing in her, from the inside out too. I could see it, like I saw most things. She was angry and heated, lost and violent in the brightest way. If only she'd let herself go, recognize what she was capable of beyond sex and ass-kicking...there was something there. But I doubted it would ever manifest.

Amanda, Andrew's little friend. She was a nice girl deep down, a hurt little girl, a bitter, hate-filled little girl. Geeky and sure of herself, I had to respect that. Still, she was so...so needy for something. I wasn't sure what that was, but I reasoned that it was none of my business.

Caleb. I still didn't know what his deal was yet, but he'd taken the time and effort to rescue me from whatever that thing was back at the church. He'd listened to me. He'd told me I was a good boy. My mind twitched a little upon remembering it.

And Warren. Don't even get me started on Warren.

I watched my brother and his dom charm Amanda for a bit, watched Faith enter with her usual casual dress and cocky swagger. Then Caleb was brought onto the scene, and I offered him a cautious, uncomfortable grin. It seemed Warren had invited him to this dinner thing. That meant something, because only Warren's inner circle got invited to these mind-numbing little events.

"So. Are we going to do this thing, or what? I'm hungry" I announced, standing up from where I'd been sitting. All I wanted was to get this lovely little bullshit charade over with so I could talk to Andrew alone for what felt like would be the first time in months.

[always_been_bad]

I still couldn't believe I was bloody doing this. How the blazes did I end up here like this? Everything had been fine in it's typical fucked up manner that had been my life, and then I wake up after bein' frozen to find out that the geek of the week was the ruler of the country? And then I agree to eat dinner with him?! I don't even eat food.

If I get in there and Buffy an' her bleedin' groupies jump out shriekin' about some kinda hidden camera, then chip or no chip I'm gonna have myself a good, ol' fashion massacre.

Warren's little gun-totin' man-bitch lead me to a pair of fancy doors which I assumed led to the dinin' hall or some other prissy poofter word for the room where I wouldn't be eatin' with...

Who else would be there? Those other two nerds from Warren's basement maybe? Was I walking into some sort of loser convention? Or would there be dignitaries or ambassadors or senators or some other official bollocks that I'd sooner drive a screw driver through my head for than deal with? Or worse, what if it ended up just being Warren and me all by ourselves? I'd have to just sit there, watch him eat and gloat interchangeably while rubbin' it in that I'd shown up in the first place.

Well, I won't be findin' out on this side of the door.

Pushing the doors open, I surveyed the scene. There were only six there, and I recognized three outta the lot of 'em. There was Warren, Faith, and Warren's pathetic little friend that I'm pretty sure had tried to hit on me that one time. Aside from them was some tall skinny girl, some apparently pissed-off guy, and... was that a bleedin' priest?

Maybe if I asked now Warren could put me back in his freezer.

I stood there in the door a moment, feelin' sick to my stomach from just showin' up without having to kill anyone on the way. I could almost feel the triumph from Warren headin' my way like one of those giant tidal waves. As for Faith, well... she made a pretty addition to the group, but it wasn't strokin' my ego none to know that she was prob'ly on Warren's side.

Decidin' that I'd prefer to break the tension on my terms, I cleared my throat.

"So... uh, s'pose this is the place then, right?"

[potential_geek]

I walked along with Warren and Andrew to the dining room, chatting and laughing, assuring them both that I had been just fine and how good it was to seem them. Faith said hi to me when she came in and I nodded and gave her wide smile. By the look on her face, it looked as though for a second she was scared I was gonna launch myself across the room like a ninja turtle and attach myself to her leg. Faith was cool, and I really did admire her, but I knew she liked her space, so as long as she had that I guess it was all good.

Then a person I didn’t know joined us. And then another. And another. A slight frown came over my face for a moment. I had been hoping this dinner would be the usual suspects, just in a nice setting, or at least the extra people would be ones I knew. With strangers around I couldn’t completely act like I wanted to, like my usual self, in case someone present was someone I needed to make a good impression on and blah blah more poloticscakes. Sometimes being a noble really did get on my nerves.

Looking around the room, I quickly surveyed the newcomers, trying to figure out who they were and why they were here. The first one I was pretty sure was a minister, or preacher or whatever you call them. I mean, that’s what the all black with a little white bit collar means, isn’t it? This was definitely weird for me. I wasn’t really religious. My family had only been at random times in the past. The only preacher I had had contact with for quite some time was in the form of the comic book. /Man, that is a good one, though. Has got to be blasphemous by somebody’s standards. I mean really, it just has. Maybe everybody’s actually when you think about it./ But still, having one actually present put me even more on edge than just if it was someone I didn’t know. Like I had to be extra good or something. Cause God was watching through his preacher shaped telescope, even though impressing God wasn’t exactly up high on my list of things to do every day.

The second one, well he looked pretty normal for the most part. Just kinda pissy. Nothing really special about him. At least at first glance. But then, I of all people definitely knew that didn’t always mean anything.

My brain almost halted when the last person came in. /Wow- somebody’s been using a lot of peroxide. And hair gel./ Jumping Jesus on a pogo stick, I was scared his hair might get up and do a dance or something. And the only way that wouldn’t scare me was if this guy was a Jedi or something. Which I highly doubted. On a second glancing, I figured it was probably producted into submission, and thus trapped. So no worries.

“Well um, this is an interesting crowd,” I said with a slight smile as I glanced at Warren. I’m assuming everyone here knew Warren. I mean, it was his house and all. So they couldn’t be here unless he invited them, right? Hmm. This just might be along night. And here I had been hoping it would be fun and games and end in a good round or two of Everquest.

[warren_is_gone]

"So. Are we going to do this thing, or what? I'm hungry"

"Patience has always been one of my favorite virtues, Tucker. But it does seem that almost everyone is here, so yes. We'll be eating in just a..."

"So... uh, s'pose this is the place then, right?"

The warm, pleased smile on my face spread to unbelievable proportions as I turned to face the thoroughly-broken William the Bloody.

Or William the Mentally Impotent. Whatever.

"Spike. I am so glad you could join us" I took a step or two towards him, still smiling that bright, cheery smile. "What a pleasant...surprise. I know my brother here has already had the pleasure, but for everyone else, this is Spike. He's the newest member of the team, and he'll be joining us for dinner tonight. I know you'll all welcome him"

"Well um, this is an interesting crowd"

Amanda's voice sounded like some kind of odd mix between amused, disappointed, and confused. I smiled down at her as well as I stood there next to her, but with a more genuine expression. I'm sure I looked like a giddy little kid for a second.

"You have no idea. Come up to the study after dinner, I'll tell you everything. You're not going to believe it" I whispered down to her, just a trace of the old Warren a bit threaded into my voice.

Then I straightened up, turning to face everyone as the doors to the massive, elaborately decorated dining room were swung open by a classily-outfitted maid.

"Everyone, dinner is served"

[addicted_andrew]

I have to admit, I was pretty startled when mystery guest number one came through the door. A... a preacher, was it? Whoever he was, he was religious and all little white collary and suddenly I felt kind of... well, embarrassed. Guilty wasn't the word, though I had the distinct impression that he wasn't the sort to approve of... er, some of my tastes. I caught the look he gave me when he entered, and it made me shudder slightly, like he'd scanned me and analyzed me like some... some Holy Robot or something. Tucker looked up at him, and it seemed like the two knew each other, which was uber-odd in itself. Tucker wasn't religious last I checked.

Although Tucker seemed annoyed. I guess probably he didn't like the whole formal setting we were in. Not to mention Warren. I'm still not entirely sure why he resents Warren so much, but sometimes I think the feeling's mutual. Which is weird because they were friends back in school together. That's how I'd met Warren.

And then, just when I thought that I'd had my share of shock for the day, the doors pushed open to reveal Spike standing there. I'm pretty sure my jaw dropped when I saw him. He looked so... cool, standing there in his usual outfit but with one of those fancy shirts Warren liked under his jacket. His expression was all hard and cold and slightly annoyed, like he was just too cool for the likes of us. And the way the light bounced off his face, accentuating those chiseled features of his...

My mouth closed with a small click of teeth against teeth as I realized I was gaping. I glanced over at Warren, trying to get some hint of what he was planning. It had been... well, a couple years since we'd captured Spike and frozen him. I knew Warren was planning to unfreeze the Slayer and friends sometime, but I didn't think he'd be inviting any of them to dinner with us. At least, not with some heavily armored guards. Of course, since Spike's a vampire, I guess Warren put one of those chips in him so we'd all be safe.

"Spike. I am so glad you could join us. What a pleasant... surprise. I know my brother here has already had the pleasure, but for everyone else, this is Spike. He's the newest member of the team, and he'll be joining us for dinner tonight. I know you'll all welcome him."

Team? Spike was on OUR side? What in Spock's name did Warren do to convince Spike to team with us?! The Jedi Mind Trick?

Amanda seemed surprised as well, though I'm pretty sure she didn't know Spike. I'd have to tell her all about it later. Warren whispered something to her, probably about all of us getting together after the dinner, so I guess I'd tell her then. I'd have to remember to hug Warren when we were alone for getting us a new toy to order around. This. Is. So. COOL!

One of the servants opened the door and Warren announced the start of the meal. I quickly followed him to the table, sitting to his right as per usual. I was thankful that Jonathan was away so he wouldn't be sitting to Warren's left. Amanda could sit there. She was cooler then Jonathan Baggins any day of the week. Looking over at Tucker, I smiled to him in hopes that he'd take the cue and sit next to me during dinner. I'd missed talking with him.

[wickedslayer]

I was wicked bored. Who the fuck were some of these people anyway? Warren had the most whack posse, for real. Good thing he was smart enough to make me his right hand chick or else I'd really be thrown for a loop. I mean, I get Andrew cause the two of them are butt buddies together. Then Andrew's annoying brother, who wouldn't stop glaring at everyone. Who the fuck did he think he was anyway? Amanda, I get. She was a good kid anyway, not to mention a total nerd and a potential slayer. But seriously....what the hell is up with the priest? Why was he givin' me this whack look? Almost like he was sizing me up and he disapproved. Asshole. Why was Warren hangin' with a priest anyway?

But I knew something was up when William the Bloody waltzed into the room. At first a wicked smirk crossed my mouth and I licked my lips hungrily. Damn, I needed to get laid. All work and no play make Faith one dull little slayer. I was all lost in that thought when I remembered something. Spike was supposed to be frozen along with B. Why did Warren let him out? A chill made it's way down my spine as I wondered what Warren's big plan was.

I still didn't like to think of my sister slayer locked up and frozen somewhere. It was just easier to pretend like she never existed. Except for that she did exist, and so much of me was wrapped up in her. Slayer connection. Nobody would ever understand me like she did.

I turned my attention back to Warren as he started to lead us into the dining room. What was it? What was the big secret and why hadn't he told me? That's what I was here for. What was that word he always called me? Confidante? Yeah, that was it. So why hadn't he told me yet? What the fuck?

"Come on, Warren. I'm burstin' at the seams here." I said impatiently.

[bible_beater]

I stood by an empty chair and waited for the rest of the group to assemble, perplexed greatly by the table manners of these folks. Sitting down before they were instructed to, flumping themselves around in a frenzy to sit as close to Mears as they could, sluttishly giving every new arrival the eye. All eyes turned to a bleach-blonde slip of a man when he entered. I'll admit that he cut a striking figure, mugging like a rock and roller, but as I didn't know him from Adam, I couldn't give two horseshits about where he sat or what his story was. I'd find out in good time.

I glanced at Tucker, who had cleared his throat rather noisily in my direction. He nodded across the table, toward the chair that I was standing behind, "Have a seat. Anywhere, I guess."

I raised an eyebrow at him, noticing that he'd already chosen his position, next to his brother. Aw. Wasn't that cute. Way this was going, everyone was going to be lumped up on one end and one side of the table so as to afix their youthful lips to Warren's behind. I was going to be the lone soldier on the other side of the table, and with my luck, I'd get stuck between the rock god and the prostitute that kept glaring at me.

Best to keep my ears open to the conversations between Tucker and his brother, and it would be easiest to do so if I was sitting opposite to them. I shrugged, realizing that if table manners weren't going to be a problem for Mears' cabinet, then they couldn't be for me, neither.

I took a seat, pushing away from the table and spreading my legs out a bit. If the kids were all going to stare at the man with the collar, I might as well give them something to look at. I'm not vain by any means, but I do recognize the power of body language.

Smiling graciously across the table to the boy who seemed to have a hard time taking his eyes off Billy Idol, I proposed that he must be more than a little nervous. "You must be the younger Wells boy. 'Andrew,' innit? Heard so much about you."

[summoner_tucker]

This was all so fucking stupid. I felt like I was acting out some mindless fucking part in a goddamned play or something. Nonetheless, I got up and followed everyone into Warren's enormous dining room. It was all dark woods and real flowers, golden cups and the finest china and wine. It was all so fucking beautiful I wanted to vomit.

I sat next to my brother at Andrew's nod in my direction, very aware that I was still wearing my beat-up old leather jacket and torn jeans from earlier. A tiny sliver of satisfaction sliced through me at the realization. Warren was way to polite to say anything about it at dinner, but I knew it my obvious spitting in the face of his dress code would piss him off.

Caleb sat on the other side of Andrew and started talking to him, and I glanced over Andrew's head at him with one raised eyebrow. I still wasn't sure what he wanted with my brother, but I wasn't concerned. I'd just gouge out his eyes with my fingers if he tried anything stupid. It was simple, really.

As they were talking, I touched his arm underneath the table lightly. "Hey. Come for a walk in the gardens with me later, I wanna talk to you" I whispered, and then I went back to glaring at everyone but Faith. She and Andrew were the only ones I could handle right now. Although Amanda seemed okay, and I had yet to meet this 'Spike' guy. He looked cool enough, almost as pissed off as me.

I smirked at him, knowing that Warren had to be fucking with him somehow. Warren was only that chipper with people he was fucking with.

Then I glanced over at Faith, nodding her direction. "Nice outfit".

I had to admit, I like the fact that she had the balls to show up in what she did. Fuck Warren, man. I mean, fuck him. Preferably with something jagged and pointy.

The thought made me smile inside.

[always_been_bad]

"Spike. I am so glad you could join us. What a pleasant...surprise. I know my brother here has already had the pleasure, but for everyone else, this is Spike. He's the newest member of the team, and he'll be joining us for dinner tonight. I know you'll all welcome him."

Member of the team? Hmph. Like Hell I am. Just workin' with what you bloody gave me. I'll be out of this just as soon as I can find somethin' better.

I didn't say that, of course. Instead I just gritted my teeth and nodded, choosing not to look at Warren's smug face. The bastard. I didn't like the way everyone else was lookin' me up or down either. All summin' me up, judgin' me or just trying to figure out what I was even doin' here.

Hah. Good luck, mates. Don't even know that one myself.

Aside from feelin' my ego deflatin' 'front a Faith and Warren (though the way that twinky little blond was lookin' at me helped some), the Holy man present made a bloke feel kind of self conscious. Usually I'd just shrug 'em off like nothin'. Hell, I'd desecrated my fair share of churches in my day and never paused by the confessional on my way out, but there was somethin' different about this one. I could almost sense it. It gave me the willies, I'll tell you that much.

When they all moved to sit down to dinner, I figured I'd set up shop next to the only other bloke there that looked 'bout as pissed as I was. He was sittin' next to the blond guy, just a few chairs down from the big man himself. If I had my way, I'd be at the other end of the bleedin' table. To make matters worse, the preacher man sat just across from the blond. All bunched up in one big cluster fuck.

When the food was served, I only glared at the plate. Unless they wanted to see my take on the meal the second time around, I wasn't goin' to eat it. After all, I'm not exactly equipped for that sort of thing anymore. However, the wine...

As soon as the glass was downed, I looked over at one of Warren's little serving bitches expectantly. So long as they kept the booze comin', I'd be fine.

[potential_geek]

Ok, exactly what was going on here? At the moment, I currently had the patience of Potterphile fifteen minutes to midnight the day the next book was coming out, but I kept that to myself considering the company I was in. So this Spike guy was the newest member of the team? What, are we putting together a metal band or something? I didn’t even know we had a set team, just kind of…a group of friends, I saw it as. So still not exactly sure what to make of all of this. I looked around the table. Everyone was kind of just sizing everyone else up and making nice for who knows what reasons.

"Come on, Warren. I'm burstin' at the seams here." I said impatiently.

I smiled at that. Leave it to Faith to get right down to things. That was one of the things that was so cool about her. She told things like they were. There was no fussing and fronting when it came to her, it was all about holding it down and representing her own bad ass self. She was kind of like Sara Pezzini or Lara Croft or- where was I going with this again? Eh, nevermind.

I so wanted to ask Warren what was up, but he’d already said he’d tell me after dinner, so I resisted. Until then, I guess I’d just have to settle for being a presentable little noble and play nice with the other guests.

[warren_is_gone]

"Come on, Warren. I'm burstin' at the seams here."

I smirked in Faith's direction as we started to eat. The servants were bustling silently around us, putting down steaming platters of the finest gourmet. I had of course, ensured that Faith was sitting on my right side and Andrew on my left. It was symbolic, in a sledgehammer John Keats kind of way.

"Never fear, Faith. Join Amanda and I in my office tonight and I'll explain everything" I spoke quietly, as to not attract the attention of those sitting near me. Spike was the one I was most concerned about, as his hearing was better than anyone else at the table's. I spoke no more on the subject after that, choosing instead to engage in some idle chatter with Andrew and Amanda as we all ate. It was nice, sitting with everyone like this. These were my people.

I could barely contain my eagerness to tell Faith, Amanda and Andrew about what was happening with Spike, however. I was feeling particularly proud of this little exploit of mine, and so after an hour or so I pushed my plate away from me and rose to my feet, raising my glass of 1979 Cognac.

"A toast, ladies and gentlemen. A toast to all of you, and all the hard work you've put into making this regime the incredible success that it is. And to Spike!" I waved my glass in his direction. "Our newest teammate, one whom I'm sure will prove to be invaluable. Ladies and gentlemen...to us"

I took a deep drink from my glass and put it back down onto the table, but didn't sit.

"I'm sorry to say it, but I'm afraid I have to be retiring for the evening. I have some matters to attend to. But please, feel free to stay and eat as long as you like. I want to thank all of you for coming, it was a pleasure" I nodded to each of them in turn, smiling warmly.

"Spike, someone will be down to attend to you as soon as you're done here, to show you to your room. If there's anything else you need, don't hesitate to notify one of the staff. Welcome to the team"

"Faith, Amanda, Andrew...I trust I'll be seeing you all soon?" I gave them a meaningful look, before turning on my heel and exiting the dining room. My heart was pounding, and I was feeling that familiar sweet rush of triumph. Everything was falling into place.

I went alone up the massive staircase, carpeted with red velvet and soft under the soles of my Italian leather shoes. Ignoring any of the staff who smiled at me on my way, I went into my quarters and closed the heavy oak doors behind me, taking off my suit jacket and loosening my tie.

Falling into place without a hitch.

[addicted_andrew]

"You must be the younger Wells boy. 'Andrew,' innit? Heard so much about you."

I nearly choked on my drink upon hearing the creepy Preacher man talking to me. I tried to cover like it was cool, but I still spilled some of my water on my tie. Laughing nervously, I grabbed my napkin and dabbed the water up before it sank into the fancy fabric.

"I, uh... yes, I'm Andrew. You, uh, you've met Tucker then? Well that's... um, nice. Yes."

I tried to smile politely at him, but I got the feeling that he could sense that I was scared of him, you know, like they say dogs can sense fear.

Opening my mouth, I made to say something to him, but I realized only after my mouth had opened that I didn't know what I was going to say or why I would say it. He hadn't exactly started shrieking at me about going to hell for being gay or anything. He hadn't said anything about making any judgments about me at all, actually, except for guessing that I was Tucker's brother, and everyone knew I was Tucker's brother. But I couldn't help but feel like I was being accused of something whenever he looked at me.

I gazed down at my plate as the food was served, making a point to eat as much as possible just so that my mouth would be full and I'd have an excuse not to talk with the creepy Nicholas D. Wolfwood wannabe (though he was, thankfully, without that giant cross gun from the Trigun anime).

I did pause in my face-stuffing to look over at Tucker and talk briefly with him. He was upset so I didn't take up too much of his time, but I told him that I was happy to see him again and that I wanted us to sit down and talk sometime soon, just the two of us.

"A toast, ladies and gentlemen. A toast to all of you, and all the hard work you've put into making this regime the incredible success that it is. And to Spike! Our newest teammate, one whom I'm sure will prove to be invaluable. Ladies and gentlemen...to us."

I raised my glass, the one filled with whatever wine it was that Warren served tonight (I never drank the stuff unless I had to. It tasted funny). I managed to gulp down a sip of the liquid without coughing, though I quickly reached for my water to wash the alcohol taste away. However I did put in an effort to do all this as gracefully as possible. When someone as cool as Spike was at the table, you couldn't help but try and live up to the coolness.

"I'm sorry to say it, but I'm afraid I have to be retiring for the evening. I have some matters to attend to. But please, feel free to stay and eat as long as you like. I want to thank all of you for coming, it was a pleasure."

I knew Warren wanted me to follow him. He didn't have to say anything at all, since I could see it in his eyes. He was excited about something, and I was guessing that something had to do with Spike being at the table tonight. Wiping my mouth on my napkin and pushing my own plate away, I stood quickly from the table, dipping my head down beside Tucker's ear for just a moment.

"I'll see you later sometime, right? So... so we can talk."

I smiled at him, trying to ignore the feel of the Preacher's eyes as I left to head up to Warren's room. I kept looking over my shoulder at my brother as I exited, knowing the way well enough that I didn't need to see where I was going. My eyes flickered to Spike again before I let the doors close behind me. What was Warren's big surprise?