Motivation
I look to the past and then to myself. I am ashamed to say that I feel defeated. I am still smart, vulgar, well spoken, and intuitive all qualities that I have always adored within myself but I lack the passion that I once had for life, love, music and work. That's not to say things are going badly between Courtney and I because they aren't. I am unemployed, in debt and have severed many of the relationships that I once depended on. But by no means do I feel sorry for myelf, by no means to feel pride either. I don't FEEL anything. Each day seems to be, instead of a new day, a continuation of yesterday's problems and yesterday's sicknesses. A sore throat yesterday turns into a sore throat and fever today. I would like to go back to school, but lack the funds and the motivation to pursue such things. Motivation... something in which I have always struggled. When will we be friends? And when will you help me put my life in order?