Reading in between the lines
Its been weird lately. I won't say bad because it hasn't been but I would say weird. I haven't really accomplished too much in the past few weeks and I think its starting to show. School is totally boring me and its hard to focus but I am not going to quit because that would be dumb as hell. But its been so hard to focus. It could be many things. I think I was really headstrong last semester and I did good. Also the fact it was winter and I wanted to be inside and everything was so new. Maybe the magic faded. Its gotten harder too.I miss having a super active social life and it sucks when you have stuff you want to do and stuff you need to do. But I am pretty mad at myself and maybe I need to send myself to my room. Or maybe a kick to the head will help. Well I have decided that I have to mean business once spring break is over and there is no exceptions.
I am so siked though because its SXSW again and I love me some free shows. I do despise tourists in this town though. This isn't fucking LA get over it. Its like Indie Rocker throwup in the town during that time. So usually half way during the week the ladies and I go to Dallas. I am getting my Ghostland Observatory ticket today!!! I have a week to go and I hate it. I love the fact that I am young and not tied down so that I can go out with the girls and don't think twice. I love lving my life and living it to the fullest.I can't wait to see Jackie and Daniel too.
But I am stuck working all weekend till then not so bad. I might be going to San Antonio to visit family if my car will let me stupid check engine light.
Last night I went to Rock City Icehouse and it was pretty fucking cool. Great sound and stage kind of a metal edge though. But I got to hang out with Cassie and the Sober Daze crew so it was great. But I was kind of bummed out last night when Cassie told me that my ex Matt is back in prison. I know I should be like ha thats what you get but its honestly really sad. Apparently the new girl tired to fight him and the cops came and since he has a record and that girl said that he hit her he was arrested. I was wondering why Crystal was so nice to me the other day when I saw her at the Marilyn Manson show. I am no longer the bad guy which is nice. My point is that I honestly wanted to the best for him and I saw good in him. I guess I tried to keep him out of trouble and I wanted him to do so much for his life. But what didn't work was when he didn't choose to do the right things and make the right decisions and this was what I was afraid what would happen. Talk about sad and some karma. I guess I am sad about it because you hope so much for someone you care about but everything is really out of your hands. Bottom line I am glad that I got away from that situation cause I can fuck up my life by myself just fine.
My power went out this week and it sucked and was totally ghetto when your family doesn't pay the bill. I saw Ray twice this week and that was nice because we don't hang out enough and he can't handle his margaritas. I skipped class and hung out with Amy and what was fun too even if it wasn't responsible. I actually hung out with Robert twice this week which was interesting because we are not together but we like each other in the weird void thing I guess. I think the world of him but I just can't deal with someone that is insecure and drinks too much. But it sucks because he is a sweetheart otherwise.*Sigh*
The other thing that has been on my mind is Matt (williams). The other night when I went to see NOFX and NUFAN I was actually kind of bummed out. He saw the show the day before in El Paso and we were siked about it long distance lol. But he reminded me to the fact that NUFAN was one of our firsts dates. I wanted to cry because I remember that so well. I started to think about how no one ever really did something so cool for me and its been that long. So when I saw that band again alone this time I could feel my heart in my stomach. I have been trying to call him and talk to him about all this and yet he is always busy or won't ever call back when he says he will. I don't know if its a lost cause. Don't know what to think anymore really.
I think I am just going to go to school now because thats what I should be doing anyway.
I am so siked though because its SXSW again and I love me some free shows. I do despise tourists in this town though. This isn't fucking LA get over it. Its like Indie Rocker throwup in the town during that time. So usually half way during the week the ladies and I go to Dallas. I am getting my Ghostland Observatory ticket today!!! I have a week to go and I hate it. I love the fact that I am young and not tied down so that I can go out with the girls and don't think twice. I love lving my life and living it to the fullest.I can't wait to see Jackie and Daniel too.
But I am stuck working all weekend till then not so bad. I might be going to San Antonio to visit family if my car will let me stupid check engine light.
Last night I went to Rock City Icehouse and it was pretty fucking cool. Great sound and stage kind of a metal edge though. But I got to hang out with Cassie and the Sober Daze crew so it was great. But I was kind of bummed out last night when Cassie told me that my ex Matt is back in prison. I know I should be like ha thats what you get but its honestly really sad. Apparently the new girl tired to fight him and the cops came and since he has a record and that girl said that he hit her he was arrested. I was wondering why Crystal was so nice to me the other day when I saw her at the Marilyn Manson show. I am no longer the bad guy which is nice. My point is that I honestly wanted to the best for him and I saw good in him. I guess I tried to keep him out of trouble and I wanted him to do so much for his life. But what didn't work was when he didn't choose to do the right things and make the right decisions and this was what I was afraid what would happen. Talk about sad and some karma. I guess I am sad about it because you hope so much for someone you care about but everything is really out of your hands. Bottom line I am glad that I got away from that situation cause I can fuck up my life by myself just fine.
My power went out this week and it sucked and was totally ghetto when your family doesn't pay the bill. I saw Ray twice this week and that was nice because we don't hang out enough and he can't handle his margaritas. I skipped class and hung out with Amy and what was fun too even if it wasn't responsible. I actually hung out with Robert twice this week which was interesting because we are not together but we like each other in the weird void thing I guess. I think the world of him but I just can't deal with someone that is insecure and drinks too much. But it sucks because he is a sweetheart otherwise.*Sigh*
The other thing that has been on my mind is Matt (williams). The other night when I went to see NOFX and NUFAN I was actually kind of bummed out. He saw the show the day before in El Paso and we were siked about it long distance lol. But he reminded me to the fact that NUFAN was one of our firsts dates. I wanted to cry because I remember that so well. I started to think about how no one ever really did something so cool for me and its been that long. So when I saw that band again alone this time I could feel my heart in my stomach. I have been trying to call him and talk to him about all this and yet he is always busy or won't ever call back when he says he will. I don't know if its a lost cause. Don't know what to think anymore really.
I think I am just going to go to school now because thats what I should be doing anyway.