.....getting the itch......
I was waiting for this feeling to come because it always does. I am starting to feel lonely and it sucks.I mean I have been going through all this shit and its been a month now. So after everything has set in and now I am lonely. I hate being single and I have figured that out about myself. But I glad because then at least I can try to stop myself from getting together with someone and thinking down the line what the hell am I doing here. But it doesn't make it any easier. Plus what adds insult to injury is that every guy that I had some remote interest or flirted with doesn't even think I exist or what anything to do with me. Its funny when people say I don't have a hard time getting someone to like or meeting people but I do. Okay I will rephrase that anyone worth while. Yeah if you could drunk guys on 6th street last night then thats all I have going right now. I am just trying not to think about it but its very defeating. Like I was thinking today that I know I am a catch. I mean I am smart, silly, somewhat responsible,outgoing,giving,sexual, and easy going...that should be enough for someone and I feel that shows enough to get someone but I don't. I think about the people that I have been with this past year they didn't see any of that and if they did they took it for granted. Just lost and confused and thats why I am trying not to think about it but it sucks because that lonely feeling is in the pit of my stomach.