....lately.......
If I could sum up things lately it would be that its shitty but great. Its like its happening at the exact same time at the same moments. The past two weeks have been crazy as hell. There is a lot to write about and I will try to cover everything.
I took some time off work after the breakup and decided to go to party a bit I'm not going to lie. Two Fridays ago I went downtown during SXSW and hung around with Sarah and we parked on south congress and were going to eat and hang around. I parked at my old school and of course I ran into some people I went to school with. It was nice hanging out with some old friends doing what we used to do when I was going to school there seeing some familiar faces. We ate, drank beer, people watched. We walked around smoked and stumbled upon this alley party and guess what? They were giving away FREE papst blue ribbon beer. God we got even more loaded. We drank all the way to Auditorum Shores. I ended loses a few friends in the crowds and what not but Sarah had a blast still and Public Enemy was awesome and so is Ozmalti as well. We stayed out all day.
Then the next morning we drove to Dallas to see the Toadies. I needed to get out of this town just for a fucking second. Not think about all the shitty things I have here. But we got there and we stayed with Jackie. I knew Jackie and high school and we knew each other but we never really hung out but it was awesome to see her she's such a doll. But we went with her, her friends John Brown and Daniel, Sarah, and Colleen. We had a blast they got shitty but its ok because it was St. Patty's I was kind of buzzed but I was all paranoid because I was afraid of getting lost in Dallas. The show was awesome and Daniel and John went in the pit with me it was amazing. We went home and Ruth and Jackie threw us a party and I got to go the mecca of liquor stores Goodie Goodie. We stayed up all night drinking and having an awesome time with their circle and I made some awesome friends. But of course I paced myself and everyone passed out so I stayed up with the guys smoking and watching Placebo music videos but I felt really good the whole time. Even the next day was awesome. Ruth, Sarah, and I did a wake and bake and we all went to Shake and Steaks. It was so silly we all were having milkshakes and all this crazy shit. But then we left Dallas and I said I would drive back. I haven't been that stoned in years and I was so ready to cruise it wasn't even funny. So I was having a blast but I had been bitching and moaning about how I wanted to go to Braum's and I said I was going to on the way back and I took the wrong exit and hit a curb and popped Colleen's tire. I swear to you that it took two minutes or less for a cute guy to change our tire. But it was cool. Italy, Texas what a hoot. It took 5 hours to drive back home but it was great.
I was worthless two days after. I drank too much and walked a million miles. I went to the doctor and I was not looking forward to it. My mom went with me and because I had to tell her I was getting tested for cancer. But it wasn't pleasant and the lady in the next room was screaming. Well the good news is I don't have cancer so far. The bad news is I have HPV and that they did these tests to where I can't have anything inside of me for two weeks and I am in pain. They can't cure me its something that goes away in a few years she said. I have to eat well and exercise and not smoke cigarettes. So I went home and looked into and what HPV is and then I got upset because I have a pretty good idea where it could have come from. So I figured the right thing to do is to tell Leslie. And you know what that asshole did? He pretty much blamed the shit on me and said he got tested a week ago and he was fine. I was furious because after all the shit he did to me he has the fucking nerve to say that. I tried to explain to him why and what happened but he wasn't having it. I did what I could he has to learn the hard way I guess not my problem anymore. I am only solving mine right now thanks. This has not been pleasant at all and all I can do is blame myself. But this is what I get and maybe its good because I should be healthier and I should be careful as hell with who I choose to be with.
What sucks is that is brought some feelings I was trying to get rid of. Like I had nightmares all week about Leslie and I would wake up crying. But I am ok for now once when I get my test in two weeks back and see how bad things really are. Great.
But then we threw Sarah's birthday party and it was fun. People got drunk and out of hand but it was cool. I got to wear my sexiest dress and it was weird. I mean I loved the way I looked that night and people were all saying nice things but I didn't think I would get that much attention. Like Sarah's brother were like damn Alison and I was sure.....but regardless drunk asshole me and my friends had a good time and Sarah doesn't remember but she had a good time.
I worked all weekend and didn't go out. I need money and I ended a moment to myself. I have been sleeping a lot and its been nice for once even though I am not sleeping again. Work has been nice and I got back in my groove. We had Jame's band play their and they were awesome and they are cool guys. I missed some people at work too while I was gone.
Last night I got home from work and tried to finish my FAFSA. I got most of it had some shit to do and I was hungry and didn't finish last night. I went out and had drinks because it was Robert's birthday and it was a great time and I am glad I went. I went to work and even worked earlier than I thought I did but I need money so fuck it. I got home filed my FAFSA and I am done with that bitch one down and two to go and hopefully I will be in college. I am working my ass off to finish my applications but its a million and one papers to file. I just want to go to school!BLAH!
Fast eddy's was fun tonight I ran into 15 people and I felt loved. I played at a few tables and had a beer with my water chaser. We closed down the bar again and I am glad to be home safe. I have a lot on my mind. I think I am trying to be a better person. I don't know what I am looking for but its ok for now. Its weird being single but my friends seem to like it. I don't feel so alone because they are single and we are having a good time. I just don't want to think about it right now that's all. I mean its there in the back of mind and a few others things but I need to get things settled before I make any more steps forward.
I took some time off work after the breakup and decided to go to party a bit I'm not going to lie. Two Fridays ago I went downtown during SXSW and hung around with Sarah and we parked on south congress and were going to eat and hang around. I parked at my old school and of course I ran into some people I went to school with. It was nice hanging out with some old friends doing what we used to do when I was going to school there seeing some familiar faces. We ate, drank beer, people watched. We walked around smoked and stumbled upon this alley party and guess what? They were giving away FREE papst blue ribbon beer. God we got even more loaded. We drank all the way to Auditorum Shores. I ended loses a few friends in the crowds and what not but Sarah had a blast still and Public Enemy was awesome and so is Ozmalti as well. We stayed out all day.
Then the next morning we drove to Dallas to see the Toadies. I needed to get out of this town just for a fucking second. Not think about all the shitty things I have here. But we got there and we stayed with Jackie. I knew Jackie and high school and we knew each other but we never really hung out but it was awesome to see her she's such a doll. But we went with her, her friends John Brown and Daniel, Sarah, and Colleen. We had a blast they got shitty but its ok because it was St. Patty's I was kind of buzzed but I was all paranoid because I was afraid of getting lost in Dallas. The show was awesome and Daniel and John went in the pit with me it was amazing. We went home and Ruth and Jackie threw us a party and I got to go the mecca of liquor stores Goodie Goodie. We stayed up all night drinking and having an awesome time with their circle and I made some awesome friends. But of course I paced myself and everyone passed out so I stayed up with the guys smoking and watching Placebo music videos but I felt really good the whole time. Even the next day was awesome. Ruth, Sarah, and I did a wake and bake and we all went to Shake and Steaks. It was so silly we all were having milkshakes and all this crazy shit. But then we left Dallas and I said I would drive back. I haven't been that stoned in years and I was so ready to cruise it wasn't even funny. So I was having a blast but I had been bitching and moaning about how I wanted to go to Braum's and I said I was going to on the way back and I took the wrong exit and hit a curb and popped Colleen's tire. I swear to you that it took two minutes or less for a cute guy to change our tire. But it was cool. Italy, Texas what a hoot. It took 5 hours to drive back home but it was great.
I was worthless two days after. I drank too much and walked a million miles. I went to the doctor and I was not looking forward to it. My mom went with me and because I had to tell her I was getting tested for cancer. But it wasn't pleasant and the lady in the next room was screaming. Well the good news is I don't have cancer so far. The bad news is I have HPV and that they did these tests to where I can't have anything inside of me for two weeks and I am in pain. They can't cure me its something that goes away in a few years she said. I have to eat well and exercise and not smoke cigarettes. So I went home and looked into and what HPV is and then I got upset because I have a pretty good idea where it could have come from. So I figured the right thing to do is to tell Leslie. And you know what that asshole did? He pretty much blamed the shit on me and said he got tested a week ago and he was fine. I was furious because after all the shit he did to me he has the fucking nerve to say that. I tried to explain to him why and what happened but he wasn't having it. I did what I could he has to learn the hard way I guess not my problem anymore. I am only solving mine right now thanks. This has not been pleasant at all and all I can do is blame myself. But this is what I get and maybe its good because I should be healthier and I should be careful as hell with who I choose to be with.
What sucks is that is brought some feelings I was trying to get rid of. Like I had nightmares all week about Leslie and I would wake up crying. But I am ok for now once when I get my test in two weeks back and see how bad things really are. Great.
But then we threw Sarah's birthday party and it was fun. People got drunk and out of hand but it was cool. I got to wear my sexiest dress and it was weird. I mean I loved the way I looked that night and people were all saying nice things but I didn't think I would get that much attention. Like Sarah's brother were like damn Alison and I was sure.....but regardless drunk asshole me and my friends had a good time and Sarah doesn't remember but she had a good time.
I worked all weekend and didn't go out. I need money and I ended a moment to myself. I have been sleeping a lot and its been nice for once even though I am not sleeping again. Work has been nice and I got back in my groove. We had Jame's band play their and they were awesome and they are cool guys. I missed some people at work too while I was gone.
Last night I got home from work and tried to finish my FAFSA. I got most of it had some shit to do and I was hungry and didn't finish last night. I went out and had drinks because it was Robert's birthday and it was a great time and I am glad I went. I went to work and even worked earlier than I thought I did but I need money so fuck it. I got home filed my FAFSA and I am done with that bitch one down and two to go and hopefully I will be in college. I am working my ass off to finish my applications but its a million and one papers to file. I just want to go to school!BLAH!
Fast eddy's was fun tonight I ran into 15 people and I felt loved. I played at a few tables and had a beer with my water chaser. We closed down the bar again and I am glad to be home safe. I have a lot on my mind. I think I am trying to be a better person. I don't know what I am looking for but its ok for now. Its weird being single but my friends seem to like it. I don't feel so alone because they are single and we are having a good time. I just don't want to think about it right now that's all. I mean its there in the back of mind and a few others things but I need to get things settled before I make any more steps forward.