(no subject)
Last night I decided I need to get myself out of the house so I hung out for a while at my cousins place... nothing special... got my mind off things for a little while though... yup.. Ian came up to hang out today. He said he'd be here around noon, but as usual, he was very early and I was still sleeping, so he woke me. I think he does this on purpose. While I showered and such he started reformatting my computer for me. Nice. I didn't ask him to, but he brought his computer and a copy of tiger so we could do it. It's finally all fixed and everything is working a lot better, very much a relief. We mostly just hung out and talked.. eventually we went to my cousins place.. Dean was there as usual. He's alright, there's just something about him that doesn't sit well..blah.. went to the pub with ian and the rest for a bit, which was okay. I've been consumed with thoughts all day.. about him... and her... alone.. tonight... ew...it makes me cold. My hands get really cold and clammy and my face gets really hot.. and the nausea.. it's stupid and it's difficult...and I know that I get really quiet and zone out.. Ian was nice about it, I just wish I could stop it. I wanted to leave the pub because I wasn't really feeling well and I thought Ian would want to head out since he had a long drive home. We hung out for quite a while after that though.. he basically spent an entire day here. It was good.
.. now back to sitting here.
.. now back to sitting here.