(no subject)
There comes a time in everyones livejournal career where they find themselves lacking the interest to write long extensive and intense entries. That time in my life has come too soon. I am not ready to be so boring and stupid. Especially not on livejournal, the only time in my life where i've written freely and calmly and not gotten into trouble by doing so. I love my livejournal. They should not be blocked in school. Then again, I dont go to that 'school' anymore. And, they're not blocked anywhere anymore for me. So, here's the scoop. I am having some pre-college anxiety. I cant get anything written down that I want to say, and whenever I think of something that I'd like to write or express on the livejournal, I am out driving or at work or somewhere that I cant possible write any of my ideas down. The worst part of this ordeal, is that the more I want to write everything down, and the more I dont have the chance to, the more anxiety I have over wanting to get this done; I want some friendly advice sometimes!
Brad and I went to Ann Arbor. We walked around, blah blah blah the usual, and then the guy from Say Anything (Max Bemis?) walked by and THEN we accidentally snuck into the Dashboard concert like rebels and listened to 4 songs, two of which were Vindicated and Hands down, but I enjoyed all 4. Run on sentence, but that was a real awesome night. I still have the ticket haha.
So, I guess I'll mention that Brad's not going to State. As you all may know, I am in a pretty serious relationship for the first time in my life. I've never felt even close to this, and I definately don't want anything about this feeling to change. But, with the realization that I'll be on my own next year without this love of my life, I am basically freakin'. Brad's parents told him that he could only come see me once a month. I'm real upset. He cant have a job either. He does need to step it up with the school work but I am thinking he has enough ambition after I ripped him apart for it. I guess we'll see how it turns out but it's going to be damn hard to survive in college with seeing him only once a month.
I've layed off the whole "I dont have any friends" thing, becuase of two reasons. 1. I've said it enough. It's to redundant and its ridiculous that I should think I am to be invited 100% of the time. People dont need to hear me saying that I have no friends. and 2. If I really dont have any friends, I've brought it on myself. Everyone knows that much at least. I am the absolute worst at balancing a boyfriend with friends and the only reason I've been so distant and momentarily lost most of my friends is becuase I am so obsessed/overly into? my boyfriend. That's so not me, but it's so girlfriend. I've never been a real girlfriend before. Good at it, at the least. So, just to all of you, anyone who's my friend, I'm sorry. I am sorry that I've been so neglecting and careless towards our friendship because I make mistakes and alot of them. I am good at some things, but I'm horrible at being a friend and I've realized that. Once I get to college, if everyone or anyone wishes to keep in touch, I'll make sure to keep up a relationship with anyone who wants to keep one with me.
On a better and lighter note, I've had two amazing vacations this summer. The one that made my summer amazing was my Myrtle Beach/NC/SC trip. The drive there with Chris, Greg and Jess was awesome. The first time seeing and kissing Brad was awesome. His grandparents were nice but we only stayed there for a day or two. After that, 7/8 days at the 'condo' on the beach. This week was nothing short of amazing and I loved every second of it. I spend everyday down at the ocean played and laying and swimming and having a great time. I played badmitten, bocce ball (hah) and I tried to 'ride waves'. Don't worry, I sucked at the last one. I didnt bother wasteing my time skim boarding, or as I like to call it, skin boarding, because I get nervous and I don't like to fail, espeically in front of peole that never fail. I slept in the living room on a pull out couch with Jessie every night and we stayed up later than everyone else chatting away about our boyfriends, the boyd family, college, and a bunch of other things. She became one of my friends and I am so glad that we got to spend time together this summer. Now, I'll definately be hanging with her in her apartment next year and hopefully we'll be spending some quality boyd time together. But, back to the vacation, we got to stay out as late as we wanted each night and we didn't really abuse it much. We would hang out on the beach, in the water, sitting on other people's boats on the shore, exploring the city, the downtown.. Overall, this vacation made my summer amazing and I hope that I will get to do it again next year because I loved it so so much.
The other sweet vacation was last weekends camping trip. It was me, Sara, Megan, Holly, Brad, Skory and Jason. Brad drove Megans car with me, Meg, and Sara, and Skory drove Jason and Holly. The campsite was 4.5 hours away into Canada but the drive felt shorter to me. We had a good time talking and listening to music, but we all got on eachother's nerves too much. That was the only problem with the trip. We all just seemed so annoyed with eachother all the time. Oh, and I had a cold the entire time. But, I did get to sleep next to brad 3 nights in a row which was awesome. We spent the first day at the lake checking the place out, the second day hanging around at the campsite playing games, and the third day at the Sauble beach falls which was an hour away. I had been there years ago with my family and Amanda and I always wanted to go back. At first I was worried that it would not be that cool but I still loved it. I think everyone else liked it too. At least the boys and I did. It was so fun to jump off the waterfall. How cool is it to say you got to jump off of a waterfall. Come ON! Another cool thing about the trip was the fact that we had a park next to us and a nice field to play frisbee/football in. We played that alot and it was real fun.
So, I just realized that nobody probably wants to read this becuase everyone who does is like "okay cool, next paragraph, brad, blah blah blah, you love his guts. we know." So, I'll have you all know, that... well, I really dont have anything other to say than Sorry, I hope this doesn't bore you! :-0.
I really miss being able to post my highschool schedule where everyone would go on and see what classes we shared... those were really the freakin' days. Now I have to put up stupid classes that only like nobody would ever reply to becuase I am going to be all alone in my classes next year. Who takes leadership classes. Idiot. The rest of my classes are pretty good though.
Now, I guess I'll list a few other fun things I did this summer. Brad and I went to secret lake and went island searching as well as swimming with the fish. We spent like 3 hours in the lake with goggles and the fish surrounded us and were amazed/amused with us. It was fabulous. Last week or so, I went to the Tigers game with my Mom, Dad, and Brad. Brad taught me all about baseball even if I new a little bit of it already. It was pretty sweet though.. Very cute!
This just in: I'M OFFICIALLY IN COLLEGE. Moving in was easy and me and heather have sweet stuff. I wont go into too much detail on our room becuase we dont have lofts yet so its not really complete. The first three nights, Brad and Holly slept in our dorm. They left on Saturday morning and poor Holly.. hah. I got to sleep in my loft/bunk bed with Brad all three nights which was cool. I absolutely love sleeping with him. :). We didnt do much each night, because of a few reasons. I have been really tired from cleaning and unpacking and walking places and doing things. So, at night when 'party time' comes, I basically just go back to my room beucase I dont know what else to do. I'm not cut out for this college thing, not one bit. Mainly because I have no desire to drink and I dont know what I'm going to do every weekend night when I dont have school work to occupy myself. I dont want to have to do something I dont want to do, but I dont want to spend every night by myself. I think I can hang out with Drew and Aaron alot and things will be just fine, but I am just worried that I wont have anyone to spend my weekends with. I'd rather sit and paint than go out and party. Maybe I just have a sad life. I dont know. But the college life is fun, just not the kind of fun that I can do without looking stupid. But, on a better note, we've gotten a bunch of free stuff. I'm not exactly sure why at all, but we got two shirts, two frisbees, a movie poster, a tiki man, a bunch of random stuff like keychains and coupons and light up cups. We got this stuff at Meijer Madness (Sushi is freaking sick) and Ufest which was pretty fun. I guess. I got my books. 312 dollars or something and I still dont have one of them! Jeeeese. I miss my parents. :(.
Yesterday Brad and Holly left and I cried a little bit. Then I got my period. Great. Luckily it was a positive one, but no period's really a good period. Anyhow, Greg and Chris came up and went to Jessie's apartment. At 9ish, Greg came and got me and I went over there. Then Jess's roommate came home, Christine. She was pretty cool I liked her alot. They all drank at the apartment and then we walked for like 4002342 miles. No joke. It was that much. But anyhow, We walked to Delta K+i(because I dont know how to spell it/say it) and met up with Heather and Pete for a second so Greg could say hi. Heather was so happy to see me, hahaa. We left and headed towards some house party or something. I honestly felt like we walked around all of East Lansing. We walked in circles around and around and eventually ended up at some house party where I went into the fridge, grabbed a coke, and saw Bpelle, R.Moncton, Kristin, Chelsie, and Alyse (OMG.). Oh and Paul Dzadzio. It was freakin cool, I was glad I got to see everyone there. I also danced in a circle, and I also asked a girl for a tampon. And chris carried me on his back for honest to god, about a mile. We then walked to Jessie's gay friend's house, Kevin, and he was the nicest guy ever, I loved him, and we just chilled and I got real tired so me and Chris walked to my dorm and I think it took a half hour or so. Maybe more. We stopped and took a break at the fountain too. Then I went and talked to my suitemates and Chelsey came over and talked to us until 4:30. It was fun shes real cool. Then Chris and I talked for a half hour or so until we passed out at 5. I was so tired, But HEATHER woke me up at 11:30. I guess I'm fine now but I was tiiiirrrred this morning. Then I went to lunch with Erin from my hall. I dont know what I'll be doing for the rest of my weeknds but I'm going home next weekend for sure I believe. Class starts Monday. My classes are Math 116, Religion in America (I love religion), Student Leadership, and Change in Human society or something, its my required science credit. Overall, I'm pretty excited for school, although I am missing a book right now.
Now, I owe you a massive picture update. Sorry for the wait, if you were waiting. You probably werent, but I'd like to feel nice about someone reading this. PLEASE let me know if you need the big version of the picture. Sometimes it resizes small on meh.
Creep in the background.
Delightfullly happy max.
So happy to be playing glowstick frisbee.
Looking for frogs with Skory.
Creep in the shadows.
well isnt that just so cute.
Open Yo Eyes.
OHHHH YEAH
Grande.
Andrews so cuuuuute.
Skorys house. F.crackers.
Me, Brad, and the coconut pirate.
Brad and the sailor.
me and the indian. "how."
We were first in line.
chillin.
oh boyd!
yeah. sup.
We take too many pictures. I'm sorry.
Nathan L. not to be confused with Nathan K.
Matt.
WTF david.
peace.
YEAH DAVID! yeah nathan!
cliff jumpers.
cliff flippers.
stud.
shiny as a frenchfry.
big fat hair.
hot babes. haha.
auh.
I'm a leaner what the.
the twins. baha. not.
bahaahah.
WHO IS THAT GIRL. THATS NOT ME.
wild and crazy kids!
family.
soul.
my crew. ha.
fly.
oh i am so happy.
..ha.
BRADS SO STRONG.
chris is so weak.
this one again, but different.
ps, it was group picture day. obviously.
I look awkward.
im so seductive. and brads... uhm...
how gay do i look. dont even tell me.
id be scared if i were you.
i love this picture.
im a model. hah.
You like my teeth.
Sara jammin.
Holly is so grossed out.
That place was sick.
Sara's so fly.
Sara on the plattypus slide. hahaha.
HEY I KNOW LETS SWITCH OUTFITS.
TKBUF.
aha..
Brad was wearing the head lamp. or wahtever its called. the minor hat.
Chris is so cute.
I have hairly legs.
So weird.
Holly took pictures of stores with provokitive things.
rock climbing. i was at the top, obviously winning.
Holly by the tunnel.
I look stupid like im trying to be all sexy. hahaa.
Auh, I love the falls!
Jump.
Sweet Jumper.
Climbing waterfalls.
Chasin' waterfalls.
So fun.
Before their backflip.
GO!
Me and Jason werent holding hands.
Meg!
Flydive.
Bam.
Meg.
The contemplation.
ha.
Finding a good seat.
sittin.
soaked.
I love here so muchhhhh.
:).
A whale.
BOYD!
Half the party.
Dogg.
The other half.
Babe.
PEACE.
Yoss.
Chris has a sick penis.
Duty free doggs.
Sara and a bear. I mean moose.
Warped Tour!
Boyds
David and MATTCHEW.
Holly and David.
You like my teeth?
Nice tat.
getting high. NOT.
Holly sucks at pretending to get high.
A professional.
Hey look maxbemis.
Look how short your hair is!
RARH.
YEAH!
Smiles.
Rarh again.
The end. I love everyone and I miss my friends alot. Sara, I'm sorry that we werent as close this summer as we used to be. Hopefully things will change while we are away and we can start talking more. Katie, I'm so sad that we didn't get to say goodbye. I spend the most tme with you this summer, and I really was sad that I didnt get to wish you luck or anything. Amanda, I wish that you didnt tell me that I am still your best friend, or I always will be, without us having a serious conversation about it. I cannot get over the past that easily, and I just need to talk to you about everything before I accept all of this. As for the rest of my friends, Good luck in your last year of highschool and your first year of college. Call me anytime, i'm sure I'll be bored often and I'd love to hear from anyone through letters, packages, anything. It would be great. Please dont hesitate to call, espeically if we haven't talked lately or anything. I probably miss you, so just make sure I hear from you. Man, I'm spilling my guts here! Hah, talk to everyone later! <3.