( Read more... )

Kevin: Oh, like you’d date a nerd.
Patricia: [witheringly penetrating look] …but, sir, I AM a nerd:
( Read more... )

Prince Charles and Lady Di are apparently a bit confused by the whole marriage thing. It seems that on their wedding night, as Diane was making last-minute preparations to walk down the aisle, she found that her shoes were missing. She was forced to borrow her sister’s, which were a bit on the small side.

When the wedding and reception were finally ( Read more... )

An OLD one. I still laugh:

There’s this actor who was once a great, a legend, but now could no longer remember his lines. After many years he finds a theatre where a friend is directing a play. The director is willing to give him a chance.

The director says, “This part is the most important, but ( Read more... )

A good semester looming; I got all my classes but one and I think I can nab it during add/drop week. Great blonde joke:

Three Mothers, a blonde, brunette, and a redhead were all talking about their daughters.

The Brunette said, “I was looking through my daughter’s purse and I found cigarettes. I can’t believe my daughter smokes.”

The Redhead ( Read more... )

I about died when I heard this. You’ve probably already heard it:

Two plumbers were in the pub mouthing off.

The first one asked “Have you had the new dispatcher yet? She’s fairly good in bed, better than my wife.”

“Yes,” said the other one, “She is good, but I wouldn’t say she’s better than your wife.”

School begins soon. I am just waiting for it to start, and of course, I gotta tell this joke I just heard:

A very good looking man decided he wanted to marry the perfect woman so they could produce the most beautiful children possible. With that in mind, he set off for Ireland, to search for the perfect woman.

Shortly after arriving in County ( Read more... )