On Knots and Unravelling - Interlude (Emily)
For author's notes and thank yous, see chapter one. This is entirely unbetaed, any spelling blunders or grammatical hi-jinks belong to me. For anyone who has been wondering what Emily's been thinking.
Interlude (Emily)
For as long as she can remember, she’s always thought Naomi was a bit of a tit, really.
Not obnoxious, or deliberately nasty, or unfair. Just... a tit.
--
She does remember the first time Naomi had turned up in their class though. It was at the stage when their teachers still put them in seating plans based on their surnames, so of course Emily was next to Katie.
Naomi had been escorted to the door by the deputy head, and given a seat near the front. Emily thought it was funny, that the new girl had already decided she was in a bad mood, like she wasn’t going to bother trying to fit in, and was perfectly content glaring at everyone before staring resolutely at the teacher, daring him to be interesting.
It was so different, from how Emily would behave, that she found herself completely preoccupied with staring at the back of the girl’s head for the next fifteen minutes, until Katie poked her in the side, and told her to hurry up with the class work, otherwise Katie wasn’t going to have anything to copy from.
At the end of the class, Naomi had gathered all her stuff together without a backwards glance, and marched out of the door, which Emily found deeply perplexing because surely she hadn’t been at school long enough to know where she was marching to.
Katie had found it equally strange. ‘A weirdo. Clearly.’
Emily remembers telling Katie to not be nasty, and that starting at a new school without any friends must be scary. Katie had grunted, and waved at Emily to follow her, as she had led her group out of the class.
--
It hadn’t made much sense, the day Emily realised that Katie had decided Naomi was going to be her friend.
The first couple of weeks were a bit awkward, because Katie had tried to make Naomi fit in with the rest of her group through sheer force of will.
It hadn’t worked. Naomi was so different, deliberately awkward and sarcastic with everyone, that the rest of Katie’s lot, (Emily finds, that when she thinks back, she can’t even remember their names) had tried to make a formal complaint to Katie, or at least were whispering horrendous things about ‘bitch-face’ behind her back.
But it was funny, because Katie found Naomi’s sense of humour hilarious. Katie would supply the target, the person that hadn’t met her approval, and Naomi would say the jokes that Katie had been trying to come up with herself, but hadn’t been smart enough to.
Still, it was surprising, when Emily had explained to Katie that she could either keep her original friends, or keep Naomi, but probably couldn’t have both. Katie had frowned at her for a bit, and then shrugged.
‘I’ll have Naomi, then. I have more fun with her.’
And she did. Abandoned the rest of them, with their increasingly blatant rudeness, and kept Naomi. It was brave, Emily had decided. The first time Katie hadn’t been concerned what the crowd must think. So Naomi must be important.
--
She could see why Katie liked her. Naomi was funny. And was brave enough to do all the things Katie approved of, like point out when the teacher was wrong, or try to speak in a stupidly heavy French accent during Spanish class, or skive double PE on a Thursday afternoon.
They collected detentions with ease. It was annoying, that Emily had to wait outside the classroom for the first twenty minutes of lunch, so she didn’t have to go down to the canteen by herself.
--
At the start of year 10, there was one subject that separated Katie and Naomi from an otherwise identical timetable. In the first Philosophy and Ethics lesson, Naomi had claimed a free table, and taken a new pad of paper out of her paper. She’d frowned momentarily, and then waved Emily over from where she’d been hovering by door, unsure where to sit.
‘Em. Don’t suppose you’ve got a spare pen?’
She had. Naomi had grinned when she’d taken it from her, and then pointed at the seat next to her.
‘If you want?’
Emily had surprised herself by sitting down. It meant the teacher had gotten really confused, and called her Katie up until January, but that was the worst of it.
She liked Naomi, when they were in Philosophy. Naomi wasn’t such a tit, and made good points, and listened to other people’s arguments.
Sometimes they had to work in pairs. Naomi made her laugh, sometimes. They had agreed on a surprisingly large number of ideas, and even when they had a big disagreement over animal testing, Naomi was never nasty, and never smug, and said when Emily made a good point.
And then the bell went, and Naomi would be off to find Katie.
Frustration, became the main emotion Emily associated with Naomi.
--
Their mum had decided she approved of Naomi, because Naomi was very good at putting on a show when she had to. Naomi was a bit different from the other friends Katie had brought home for tea, but she talked well, and seemed to take their mum’s bizarre approach to cooking in her stride.
Emily could see that her mum had mentally dubbed Naomi a good influence on Katie. And that’s why it was extra annoying, when Emily knew they’d spent their entire year pratting around, but Naomi and Katie were so brazen in the lies they told, about extra revision lessons and trips to the library. Her mum stopped asking, apparently assuming that such deception would be beyond lovely Katie and her intelligent friend Naomi.
--
Other times, Naomi would turn up, and Katie would be still out with Hayden, or some other boy. So they’d wait in Emily’s room, with Naomi sat cross-legged on Katie’s bed, and Naomi would quiz her on the different units in Philosophy. Or, one time, help Emily practice for a French speaking exam, which she was so nervous about she thought she might die. Naomi had a good French accent, and slowed her words down when Emily couldn’t figure out what she’d just asked.
--
Emily reached breaking point, close to the start of Year 11. Because it wasn’t fair, that Katie got to be Naomi’s friend, and Emily had to tag along, and watch them be sarcastic about everything and laugh at jokes that seemed to have a foundation on some other moment, a time when Emily hadn’t been there.
She’d left Katie, and stopped sitting next to them on the school bus, and found some other people she could share time with.
Katie had been a complete cow about it, naturally. Naomi hadn’t helped matters, and said something stupid that had made Katie even more angry. Emily realised that she’d never seen Naomi and Katie fall out over anything, and felt a bit bad, before remembering that this was all their fault, anyway.
It hadn’t taken long though, until the two of them were back to speaking to each other again. And that was it. Emily was free.
--
She’d missed Naomi. Not Katie, there was no escaping her. But it was peculiar, missing someone who she’d considered to be a tit, for ninety percent of the time.
Emily found herself listening extra carefully, whenever she overheard Katie on the phone to Naomi, even though she didn’t approve of nearly all that was said.
Philosophy became her favourite lesson.
--
She’d been worried, on GCSE results day, because what would happen if Katie hadn’t gotten into Roundview? Where would Naomi go?
--
Emily had been drunk at the party, which was why she had found Naomi extra funny that night. She can remember taking her by the hand, and leading her to the back of the garden, without even thinking about it. Because Naomi was at her friendliest, when sloshed, and Emily didn’t care if this was the first time they’d ever had a conversation about anything other than school. It felt completely normal. Good, even, to sit on the wall and watch Naomi blink at stars.
Even the argument had felt good, in a weird way. Like Emily was showing Naomi who she was, and not caring if it wasn’t who Naomi expected.
--
Effy was interesting. Panda too. Emily felt like she’d suffered a high school of uninteresting days. Emily decided very quickly that she’d be friends with Effy and Pandora, and all that it entailed.
(Katie had decided she didn’t like Effy. This helped the decision.)
--
Naomi was better, at Roundview. Less of a tit, certainly less rude to the teachers. She was impressive, when she tried. Made points and argued well, everything Emily remembered from Philosophy.
It was about a month in, when Emily noticed Naomi was being watched. Some girl with dark hair, who spent Psychology looking at the back of Naomi’s head, rather than the teacher. Emily had taken a couple of days to interpret the gaze, and then smiled to herself, quietly.
--
She wasn’t sure what had happened, but something must have, because suddenly Naomi was incredibly jumpy around the girl. Not that Sophia seemed to notice. Emily found herself slightly irritated, with Sophia’s relentless tracing of Naomi’s steps, because it felt clumsy, and obvious.
She didn’t allow herself to think nasty thoughts, because Sophia seemed nice enough, and there was nothing wrong with having a crush.
Emily felt a bit guilty, too, because Sophia didn’t have any friends, and Emily thought she should probably say hi, some day.
She’s not sure why she doesn’t.
--
After the pre-Christmas drinks, and after Naomi’s sudden re-emergence as a rude, socially inept, retard, Emily texted Sophia nearly every day. Because Sophia had been so upset in the pub toilets, and Emily was worried, because if she had that many feelings and nobody to talk too, who knows what she’d be like at the start of term.
Effy had smiled, on the first day back, and listened carefully to Emily’s explanation. She nodded, after a moment, and sent Panda over to go a collect Sophia from the empty sofa she was sitting on.
--
Honestly, Naomi was such a tit, sometimes, she can’t even cope with it.
--
Naomi had been ignoring her again, but Emily had gotten bored of it. She asked Pandora to invite her moronic sister to the party, and Naomi was invited too, as an accessory.
Emily found herself frowning, whenever she thought about Naomi. If she could just force the lot of them to bloody well get on, maybe things would be more straight-forward.
--
Katie surprised her first, actually, by dancing with Effy. The drugs helped, no doubt, but it would be enough, surely, to lessen hostilities.
Emily, meanwhile, had a bit of a boogie with Pandora’s mum, who turns out to quite the rave monkey, and danced a bit with Sophia, who’d bobbed along to the non-existent music like a balloon on a string.
After a while, when she saw Naomi wasn’t there anymore, Emily went to find her.
--
Later, on the bouncy castle, when Sophia had jumped into her and they’d fallen, Emily had been thinking about Naomi’s grin, and how ridiculous she was when wasted, and the colour of her eyes, and the closeness of her lips to Emily’s, just before.
When Sophia kissed her, Emily kisses back.
It was surprisingly nice.
--
She didn’t care what Katie thought, all of a sudden. So when Katie asked her if she was gay, she said yes.
--
She’d been incredibly fucking angry with Katie, when Katie had marched into school a week later and announced to the world that Sophia was a lesbian who had ‘practically face-raped’ Emily.
Sophia had cried constantly during that day. Emily kept on shushing her, and handing over tissues, but by fifth lesson was irritated beyond belief with the entire world, and that included Sophia.
Effy had materialised, miraculously, and shooed Emily away from Sophia with a tilt of the head. Emily had left, grateful for the reprieve.
--
Naomi was a complete cock.
When Emily had stumbled across her in the college toilets, she’d almost felt sorry for her, because she’d clearly been crying, and sadness was such an odd emotion to see Naomi exhibiting. But then she’d remembered about the week she’d spent, dealing with Sophia, and figured a bit of sadness wouldn’t do Naomi any harm really.
It was annoying, that she found she missed talking to Naomi, even if the talking mainly consisted of Emily explaining slowly and carefully why Naomi was a pillock.
Emily had thought about Naomi, on the way home, and wondered if the sadness was some kind of guilt, some kind of self acknowledgement that she’d ruined Sophia’s life for no obvious reason.
But then a more likely cause for the sadness had emerged later, when Katie came home from college fuming about something that Naomi had said, about Cook and Effy and being a second choice. Emily couldn’t quite believe that Naomi would be that stupid, but got it in the neck anyway, when she tried to suggest as such.
And, that was enough for her. Fuck them. Fuck the pair of them. She didn’t want to give a shit about either of them.
--
On her parents’ anniversary night, she nearly loses her mind worrying about Katie, because they don’t turn up till gone three.
Katie had mumbled at Emily about needing to sort out secrets, while Emily had taken off her shoes and encouraged her into pyjamas, with hands that were shaking with anger.
Downstairs, the empty hallway and wide open door told Emily everything she needed to know about Naomi’s bravery. Until she had heard a noise in the kitchen, and been forced to reconsider.
--
When Naomi had kissed her, Emily had managed to remember she was incredibly angry for all of two seconds.
Because... oh. Oh.
Now she gets it.
Chapter Six