(no subject)
Something that makes me laugh:
Without fail every single time my dad's cell phone rings, it is greeted with an "OH MAN FUCK OFF" in reply. But he still answers it! HAHAHA. Ah...the joys of having friends and owning a business?
Something that annoys me:
My mother when her double standards emerge. Like today.
10am:
Lauren: Mom, please go to the shops and buy bread so I can have breakfast [note: we don't even have CEREAL, its so bad she needs to shop]
Mother: Okay, just give me 10 more minutes. Go it cereal instead?
Lauren: there IS NO cereal.
10:20am:
Lauren: mother....your five minutes was up 15 minutes ago.
Mother: ok, ok, I'll get up. Five more minutes.
Lauren: *realises this is a futile task* Ok, but I will need bread to make a sandwich for lunch. So sometime before then would be nice.
11:30am:
Lauren: Oh! And don't forget to buy cupcake mix...that I asked you for a week ago. And up and goes...so I can have breakfast tomorrow morning before I jet off to work!
Mother: YES YES YOU HAVE TOLD ME TWENTY BILLION TIMES GO AWAY NOW.
12:30pm
*noises outside door*
Lauren: I THOUGHT YOU WERE GETTING UP TO SHOWER AND GO TO THE SHOPS NOW.
Mother: *sweeping floors* Well yes, I did say that, but now I am going to sweep and wash the floors and maybe put a load of washing on, and then shower and go to the shops.
Lauren: *internal scream of annoyance*.
2:30pm:
*Lauren goes and sticks a bajillion spring rolls in the oven - the only food available*
2:35pm:
*mother appears*
Mother: I'll go to the shops now! Oh - are you making food? Can I eat it? ALSO GO DO THE DISHWASHER AND YOU MUST WEAR SHOES WHEN YOU EXIT YOUR ROOM BECAUSE I HAVE JUST WASHED THE FLOORS AND ALSO CLEAN YOUR BATHROOM OK? EVEN THOUGH I KNOW ITS YOUR SISTERS MESS, BUT YOU ARE HERE SO DO IT.
Lauren: *ANNOYED TO HELL* SURE MOTHER, I WILL DO THAT ALL IN FIVE MINUTES OK.
250pm:
Lauren gets spring rolls out, mother still sitting around doing nothing. Mother eats spring rolls. Lauren eats spring rolls. They taste gross. Very dissatisfied.
Mother: Oh, I guess I won't go shopping now.
Lauren: WHAT A SURPRISE. NOT.
310pm:
Mother: Oh, I should go fetch your sister! God forbid I am five minutes late and she has to wait like you had to when you were in high school and I was perpetually ten-fifteen minutes late fetching you! AND DONT FORGET TO DO THE DISHWASHER AND WEAR SHOES! AND CLEAN THE BATHROOM OK OK OK OK O K?
430pm
*mother returns home after a quick visit to the shops to get some necessities for the evening ahead*
Mother: I HOPE YOU DID THE DISHWASHER AND CLEANED THE BATHROOM AND OH GOOD I SEE SHOES ON YOUR FEET
Lauren: *SEETHES* Did you buy my cupcake mix? I told you I wanted to make some for tomorrow....
Mother: Oh. No, I forgot. Sorry. I'll get them next week. It's not like you could've made them tonight anyway...
Lauren: OH. WELL IN THAT CASE I'M SORRY I FORGOT TO DO THE DISHWASHER. I GUESS I WILL JUST DO IT NEXT WEEK.
Mother: YOU WILL DO IT RIGHT NOW. RIGHT NOW! GET OUT HERE AND DO IT NOW.
Lauren: *STILL SEETHING* Well, at least you bought my Up and Go's, right? BECAUSE YOU BUY THEM EVERY WEEK ON INSTINCT BY NOW, RIGHT. AND I NEED IT FOR TOMORROW.
Mother: Oh, no! I forgot!
Lauren: *SLAMS DISHES AROUND* DO NOT TALK TO ME! GO TO THE OTHER SIDE OF THE HOUSE!
Something which vaguely cheers me up:
So tonight, before we go out for our usual Friday night Shabbat, my sister and her boyfriend are coming over. Why, you may ask? Because her boyfriend - who is from Hungary -'s brother and dad are visiting them and wanted to meet my sister's parents. WHICH SHE TRIED TO GET OUT OF. Haha. I think its hilarious she tries to prevent any of her friends/collegues/etc meeting her family. She phoned to give me DETAILED INSTRUCTIONS on what to wear, how I should act, how I should control my family, how everyone should appropriately behave...
It made me laugh for a long time. I considered wearing pyjamas to the whole affair. I made the mistake of telling her that, and listened to her scream for five minutes. She doesn't understand jokes.
BUT I AM STILL ANNOYED.
Without fail every single time my dad's cell phone rings, it is greeted with an "OH MAN FUCK OFF" in reply. But he still answers it! HAHAHA. Ah...the joys of having friends and owning a business?
Something that annoys me:
My mother when her double standards emerge. Like today.
10am:
Lauren: Mom, please go to the shops and buy bread so I can have breakfast [note: we don't even have CEREAL, its so bad she needs to shop]
Mother: Okay, just give me 10 more minutes. Go it cereal instead?
Lauren: there IS NO cereal.
10:20am:
Lauren: mother....your five minutes was up 15 minutes ago.
Mother: ok, ok, I'll get up. Five more minutes.
Lauren: *realises this is a futile task* Ok, but I will need bread to make a sandwich for lunch. So sometime before then would be nice.
11:30am:
Lauren: Oh! And don't forget to buy cupcake mix...that I asked you for a week ago. And up and goes...so I can have breakfast tomorrow morning before I jet off to work!
Mother: YES YES YOU HAVE TOLD ME TWENTY BILLION TIMES GO AWAY NOW.
12:30pm
*noises outside door*
Lauren: I THOUGHT YOU WERE GETTING UP TO SHOWER AND GO TO THE SHOPS NOW.
Mother: *sweeping floors* Well yes, I did say that, but now I am going to sweep and wash the floors and maybe put a load of washing on, and then shower and go to the shops.
Lauren: *internal scream of annoyance*.
2:30pm:
*Lauren goes and sticks a bajillion spring rolls in the oven - the only food available*
2:35pm:
*mother appears*
Mother: I'll go to the shops now! Oh - are you making food? Can I eat it? ALSO GO DO THE DISHWASHER AND YOU MUST WEAR SHOES WHEN YOU EXIT YOUR ROOM BECAUSE I HAVE JUST WASHED THE FLOORS AND ALSO CLEAN YOUR BATHROOM OK? EVEN THOUGH I KNOW ITS YOUR SISTERS MESS, BUT YOU ARE HERE SO DO IT.
Lauren: *ANNOYED TO HELL* SURE MOTHER, I WILL DO THAT ALL IN FIVE MINUTES OK.
250pm:
Lauren gets spring rolls out, mother still sitting around doing nothing. Mother eats spring rolls. Lauren eats spring rolls. They taste gross. Very dissatisfied.
Mother: Oh, I guess I won't go shopping now.
Lauren: WHAT A SURPRISE. NOT.
310pm:
Mother: Oh, I should go fetch your sister! God forbid I am five minutes late and she has to wait like you had to when you were in high school and I was perpetually ten-fifteen minutes late fetching you! AND DONT FORGET TO DO THE DISHWASHER AND WEAR SHOES! AND CLEAN THE BATHROOM OK OK OK OK O K?
430pm
*mother returns home after a quick visit to the shops to get some necessities for the evening ahead*
Mother: I HOPE YOU DID THE DISHWASHER AND CLEANED THE BATHROOM AND OH GOOD I SEE SHOES ON YOUR FEET
Lauren: *SEETHES* Did you buy my cupcake mix? I told you I wanted to make some for tomorrow....
Mother: Oh. No, I forgot. Sorry. I'll get them next week. It's not like you could've made them tonight anyway...
Lauren: OH. WELL IN THAT CASE I'M SORRY I FORGOT TO DO THE DISHWASHER. I GUESS I WILL JUST DO IT NEXT WEEK.
Mother: YOU WILL DO IT RIGHT NOW. RIGHT NOW! GET OUT HERE AND DO IT NOW.
Lauren: *STILL SEETHING* Well, at least you bought my Up and Go's, right? BECAUSE YOU BUY THEM EVERY WEEK ON INSTINCT BY NOW, RIGHT. AND I NEED IT FOR TOMORROW.
Mother: Oh, no! I forgot!
Lauren: *SLAMS DISHES AROUND* DO NOT TALK TO ME! GO TO THE OTHER SIDE OF THE HOUSE!
Something which vaguely cheers me up:
So tonight, before we go out for our usual Friday night Shabbat, my sister and her boyfriend are coming over. Why, you may ask? Because her boyfriend - who is from Hungary -'s brother and dad are visiting them and wanted to meet my sister's parents. WHICH SHE TRIED TO GET OUT OF. Haha. I think its hilarious she tries to prevent any of her friends/collegues/etc meeting her family. She phoned to give me DETAILED INSTRUCTIONS on what to wear, how I should act, how I should control my family, how everyone should appropriately behave...
It made me laugh for a long time. I considered wearing pyjamas to the whole affair. I made the mistake of telling her that, and listened to her scream for five minutes. She doesn't understand jokes.
BUT I AM STILL ANNOYED.