Fallin', Fallin'...
I'm losing it.
I can't talk to Nate because i want to kill myself everytime i see him type something. Not even in my direction, just in general.
I don't know what to say to Tino, because i feel like everything I say is wrong and my actions aren't necessarily helping. In the past 2 months i have puked and cried more than i have in the other 15 years I've been alive combined. Fuck. I just want things to be right, which makes me wonder why i do all this stupid shit. I really just don't think sometimes. And Rosie's right, I thought about hurting him a bit too late, didn't I? Motherfucker.
I miss my Holli. I'm going so fucking insane not knowing if she's okay. I mean, I'm really, really glad she's getting help she obviously needs... but damn. :/
I hate how I constantly hurt the people I love. I broke down last night and cried for hours on end and just screamed at myself because i don't fucking understand it. I don't know why I do things. I say I love him, but my actions say otherwise. Maybe I'm just a dumb little girl who will never learn. I don't really know anymore. I wish sometimes that I could just... blink and have the past erased and start over ... I fucked up and I can't blame everyone else anymore. Damn it.
Maybe his fucking brother is right about me.
I'm not good enough to be stabbed in the back
So shoot me in the head
Baby you know that
I'm better off dead
I dance with the best
Because I put my soul at rest
I push my limits cuz there's nothing left
Ever had a dream
About someone from your past
It made you look at your life
And want to end it with
One fucking blast
I keep closing my eyes
And waiting for sleep
Cuz the only thing i have left
Is this dream dream dream
I'm dreaming of you
And me together
Dreaming for the day
My head will get better
Staring at my ceiling
Hearing voices crying n' screaming
Waiting for me to get
Sane sane sane
We're all the same
Judge not lest ye be judged
I keep stabbing myself in the heart
But my mind just won't budge
Still not good enough to be stabbed in the back
Shoot me in the head
I'm not even worth being dead.
I can't talk to Nate because i want to kill myself everytime i see him type something. Not even in my direction, just in general.
I don't know what to say to Tino, because i feel like everything I say is wrong and my actions aren't necessarily helping. In the past 2 months i have puked and cried more than i have in the other 15 years I've been alive combined. Fuck. I just want things to be right, which makes me wonder why i do all this stupid shit. I really just don't think sometimes. And Rosie's right, I thought about hurting him a bit too late, didn't I? Motherfucker.
I miss my Holli. I'm going so fucking insane not knowing if she's okay. I mean, I'm really, really glad she's getting help she obviously needs... but damn. :/
I hate how I constantly hurt the people I love. I broke down last night and cried for hours on end and just screamed at myself because i don't fucking understand it. I don't know why I do things. I say I love him, but my actions say otherwise. Maybe I'm just a dumb little girl who will never learn. I don't really know anymore. I wish sometimes that I could just... blink and have the past erased and start over ... I fucked up and I can't blame everyone else anymore. Damn it.
Maybe his fucking brother is right about me.
I'm not good enough to be stabbed in the back
So shoot me in the head
Baby you know that
I'm better off dead
I dance with the best
Because I put my soul at rest
I push my limits cuz there's nothing left
Ever had a dream
About someone from your past
It made you look at your life
And want to end it with
One fucking blast
I keep closing my eyes
And waiting for sleep
Cuz the only thing i have left
Is this dream dream dream
I'm dreaming of you
And me together
Dreaming for the day
My head will get better
Staring at my ceiling
Hearing voices crying n' screaming
Waiting for me to get
Sane sane sane
We're all the same
Judge not lest ye be judged
I keep stabbing myself in the heart
But my mind just won't budge
Still not good enough to be stabbed in the back
Shoot me in the head
I'm not even worth being dead.