I Betrayed My Life

[trippahone]

There's a room in this house
Where I lose myself
The truth comes out
And you know what I'm about

There's this town I live in
Where I lie to myself
I act half normal
While I'm losing my mind

There's this guy I'm dating
That I can't live without
Which makes us all wonder
Why I keep messing up

I don't know who I am
Or why I'm here
Don't know where I'm going
What direction to steer

I don't know what's going on
Or why I do
These things to you
I keep on thinking
That I will change
Things will get better
…Someday

Maybe it's in my nature
To push away those that care
To betray those I love
Maybe what they say is true
And I'll never be
Good enough for you

I know what I want
I know what I need
I want to quit hurting you
And giving him reasons to feed

To quit tearing us apart
To finally be together
I want to be independent
From self inflicted pain

I want to quit missing you
I want you to be happy
I need to see your smile
I hate hearing you cry
Asking me again and again
…Why?

As my apologies to you
Repeating over in my throat
Sound so very…
Empty