In Defense of Matthew
So much backlash against Matthew. He's my favorite character, dear, sweet Matthew. Many think he's changed a great deal in S2. Thanks to the war, that's inevitable. Unfortunately, as eolivet has pointed out, JF decided to not attempt to flesh out Matthew's character in any great detail, just rendering a few war scenes here and there, and showing him
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That conversation is odd, as it seems to indicate Matthew knows she loves him. I think it just indicates he knows she doesn't love Carlisle.
Oh, I don't think it appears that he knows she loves him (if it did, Violet's words wouldn't be such a shock). I think he thinks it's pity -- that for whatever reason, she'd offer to give up her life to take care of him, knowing he won't accept it. He doesn't know she doesn't love Carlisle. He doesn't want to stand in the way of her happiness. It's so desperately sad, because Mary comes the closest she may have come all season to blurting out her feelings, and Matthew sadly misinterprets what she's saying. I honestly don't know what she means in that moment, but it's pretty damn close to "Please don't make me marry him -- I want to be with you." But she's given him no reason to think that's exactly what it is. :(
something tells me he believes Mary felt she HAD to nurse him, out of a duty to her family and him. Lavinia returned out of love for him.
I disagree with this, to a point -- I think there is no way he could've possibly been able to process why Mary did what she did. He was drugged up, as you say, and in a lot of pain and his memory probably isn't very good. He leaned on Mary, and Mary allowed herself to be leaned on. That spoke volumes about the implicit trust he had in her -- that he needed her, that she was there, that he didn't have to ask.
Unlike Lavinia, who came back when he was in clean clothes and in his right mind. IDK, I think it's really been ignored, the idea that Matthew was a trauma victim -- and trauma victims aren't easily able to speak about their trauma.
(I think there was a very clear shot of Mary reacting to Matthew standing -- her joy could've powered the whole downstairs. Oh, I LOVE that shot. Her cheeks are about to burst. And NOBODY -- including Lavinia -- would've understood how important that was, except Mary, who'd been there from the start of his injury.)
But I LOVE your point about Matthew and dancing -- how he wouldn't have been able to do that before, and how special it must be to be able to share that with Mary. I'd like to think that, in his own way, that's Matthew acknowledging how far they've come in that time -- and that they have come that far together (even if they can't be together :( )
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I was just commenting on what many people thought, he must be discussing Mary's love for him and I disagree. I also agree with you he's worried there is pity there, though I would be surprised if he thought Mary would allow pity for another to control her life like that.
I disagree with this, to a point -- I think there is no way he could've possibly been able to process why Mary did what she did. He was drugged up, as you say, and in a lot of pain and his memory probably isn't very good. He leaned on Mary, and Mary allowed herself to be leaned on. That spoke volumes about the implicit trust he had in her -- that he needed her, that she was there, that he didn't have to ask.
I think this is a possibility too. It's quite possible he doesn't remember Mary being around him when he was so incapacitated. But just in case he does remember, he probably thinks it was more out of a sense of duty to help him then, rather than love.
(I think there was a very clear shot of Mary reacting to Matthew standing -- her joy could've powered the whole downstairs. Oh, I LOVE that shot. Her cheeks are about to burst. And NOBODY -- including Lavinia -- would've understood how important that was, except Mary, who'd been there from the start of his injury.)
LOL, actually I think the person who had the best expression was EM/Cora. Her face was priceless. But I was surprised that Mary wasn't given a sole shot of herself. Everything else in regards to Matthew has been about her reaction, why not this?
But I LOVE your point about Matthew and dancing -- how he wouldn't have been able to do that before, and how special it must be to be able to share that with Mary.
I just think it's interesting that Matthew was immobilized for 3 episodes and the very next one he's dancing. That alone must have meant the world to him, and how wonderful that it was with Mary, even though it seemed more out of providence rather than his own control.
Sigh, they are killing me.
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I just had to add a resounding YES to this. I think this point is one of the things I have consistently noticed being neglected in arguments against Matthew and it's really frustrating because I feel like it should be pretty obvious to everyone. They don't put into perspective what has happened to him. This is not a wound that will heal. This is permanent. They forget the fact that what happened to him is not small, it's HUGE; and it's huge not only physically but emotionally and mentally as well. EVERYTHING about his world has changed, and this wasn't even some accident, it was the result of war. Compound that to the trauma that comes with the injury itself and it's pretty much one of the worst situations possible. I think it hearkens back to that scene Matthew had with Robert. After Robert asks him what the front is like his countenance automatically changes to this haunted person outside of himself and he says, "At the front, the men pray to be spared, of course, but if that is not to be they pray for a bullet that kills them cleanly." [paraphrase] This is probably EXACTLY the thing he prayed for, and he got the furthest thing from it. Not only does he suffer, his life is completely different, and in the immediate aftermath it's a life that is only half a life. During this time he's not worth anything to anyone. Now as years had passed I think he probably would have made his peace with it to an extent, and realized that he could still live a life, but here...this experience truly is "the darkest time of [his] life." No WONDER he doesn't want to talk about it. No WONDER he doesn't realize exactly what Mary has done for him. And even if he did take some kind of notice I think he would have completely blocked it out... 1) Because he doesn't feel like anyone should care for him anymore 2) Because he can't look back. It's just not possible for him. Even AFTER he began to walk again he never had any inclination or ability to look back to that time. I can't blame him for one thing in this situation. I see exactly where he's coming from. I just wish others would notice it. Admittedly JF could have stuck in a line or something, rather than leaving everything to us, which while WE see the angle he was going for, it might have helped others to notice it.
Ah! Sorry for going on and on...I was just so glad to see someone else who mentioned exactly what I've thought all along! xD
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Oh, ABSOLUTELY -- I think that those lines in 2x02 were VERY deliberate. JF might as well have been saying: "Heads up! That's going to happen to you, Matthew!" Because I actually think (and posted about, way back in the day) there was a very strong indication throughout 2x01 that Matthew really just...thought he was going to die on the front. That it's why he got engaged -- so that would be settled, in case he lived -- and brought Lavinia to Downton so she'd have support if he didn't come back. It's why he was desperate to be friends again with Mary, and kept repeating it ad nauseum, IMO. It's why he went to church before he went to the train station. I really don't think he expects to live -- hence the "bullet that kills them cleanly" remark in 2x02, and the utter TERROR he feels about the hospital then as well.
No WONDER he doesn't want to talk about it. No WONDER he doesn't realize exactly what Mary has done for him. And even if he did take some kind of notice I think he would have completely blocked it out... 1) Because he doesn't feel like anyone should care for him anymore 2) Because he can't look back.
SO true. :( It took me a while to recognize it, I'll admit, but once I did...I mean, it's a trauma. It's a serious trauma. Like you said, if he just can't talk about what happened on the front, what on EARTH makes people think he could talk about/process/remember what happened in the very early days of his hospital stay? Like I said, I think he recognized Mary's presence -- she was his stick from the beginning -- which spoke volumes.
Someone once commented on my journal, and I loved this distinction -- he tells Lavinia "we can never be properly married" (sugarcoating it for her), he tells Mary he's "an impotent cripple." Uses the word "impotent." Just doesn't hold anything back. That implies a huge level of trust, IMO. He sends Lavinia AWAY. Who do you expect but the ones who love you the most to be there when you most need them? :(
A part of me selfishly hopes he DOES remember what Mary did for him, and makes an allusion to it in the future (or Isobel does or something). But at the dinner table, as I've commented elsewhere, was not the time for Matthew to praise Lavinia for her easy caregiver role, and then say "And special thanks to Mary, who held the bowl when I got sick in the hospital!" :/
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