two months later...
Two months.
It's amazing how much can change in two months.
I last posted when I first got here, and I guess I've officially settled in.... or as close to settled in as I'm going to become.
It's hard to say what expectations I had when coming here... something along the lines of starting over and final being able to be me.
College is nothing like what I expected. Not at all.
The past has been coming back to haunt me like crazy. Not only do I find this unfair and ridiculous, but, pretty fucking ironic.
It's like no matter what I do there's some unseen force trying to get me down. Everytime something goes good for me I manage to fuck it up. I am so sick of trying to pick up the pieces of what used to be. All I want to do is prove to someone, anyone, that I can actually make it in this world.
I guess I have friends, or something along the lines of friends. There's no way that people can get to know each other in the span of only 60 days.
I AM sick of the fakeness of people here. I thought this was something of only high school, but honestly, the only difference here is that people are older. Which is pathetic in itself, at 18 and 19 years old, people should be able to handle themselves. Yeah.
On to schoolwork.
College is fucking hard and I wish I did work in high school. seriously.
hopefully it's gets better soon because I don't know how much longer I can take it.
Boys will be boys. Upon speaking with my best friend in the entire world (my mother) I have come to the conclusion that I am not looking for anyone. If it's meant to work out and happen, it will.
I guess I have to have fate.
The only thing I'm afraid of is the fact that in college guys are only looking for one thing and I'm totally not okay with that like I used to be. Hook-ups are great, for sure, but not when feelings get involved. I don't need to be hurt again, I have enough on my mind.
Life's good. could be better, but I'm managing. idk, it's only October... and it's crazy how much changes in only two months.
It's amazing how much can change in two months.
I last posted when I first got here, and I guess I've officially settled in.... or as close to settled in as I'm going to become.
It's hard to say what expectations I had when coming here... something along the lines of starting over and final being able to be me.
College is nothing like what I expected. Not at all.
The past has been coming back to haunt me like crazy. Not only do I find this unfair and ridiculous, but, pretty fucking ironic.
It's like no matter what I do there's some unseen force trying to get me down. Everytime something goes good for me I manage to fuck it up. I am so sick of trying to pick up the pieces of what used to be. All I want to do is prove to someone, anyone, that I can actually make it in this world.
I guess I have friends, or something along the lines of friends. There's no way that people can get to know each other in the span of only 60 days.
I AM sick of the fakeness of people here. I thought this was something of only high school, but honestly, the only difference here is that people are older. Which is pathetic in itself, at 18 and 19 years old, people should be able to handle themselves. Yeah.
On to schoolwork.
College is fucking hard and I wish I did work in high school. seriously.
hopefully it's gets better soon because I don't know how much longer I can take it.
Boys will be boys. Upon speaking with my best friend in the entire world (my mother) I have come to the conclusion that I am not looking for anyone. If it's meant to work out and happen, it will.
I guess I have to have fate.
The only thing I'm afraid of is the fact that in college guys are only looking for one thing and I'm totally not okay with that like I used to be. Hook-ups are great, for sure, but not when feelings get involved. I don't need to be hurt again, I have enough on my mind.
Life's good. could be better, but I'm managing. idk, it's only October... and it's crazy how much changes in only two months.