(no subject)
Oh yeah, I do have a journal...
School, derby and work are keeping me busy. Busy enough that I kind of want to quit my job so I can have a life again but I keep needing that paycheck.
Derby is still the bee's knees and consumes much of my life. I've played in three bouts now and two inter league scrimmages. Monody we went somewheres downstate called Hyde Park or something to scrimmage the Hudson Valley Horrors. It was kick ass an I had two spectacular jams. My blocking was a little shit but those jams made up for it. This whole sports team thing is working out really well for me. I guess i just have a good personality for it - a need for hard physical activity and an outlet for aggression, the desire to continually improve, the approval of my peers and superiors, and relatively good coordination and balance. Someone at work called me a jock the other day and it took me by surprise - I've always pretty much disliked jocks and even though I played AYSO back in the day I never identified as athletic. It's a weird feeling but everything else about it is just so right for me. It's even pushed me spiritually.
I've been largely absent from ADF for the last few months. Work and school obligations prevented me from making grove rituals and meetings up until recently and I just stopped reading any of the mailing lists until a few days ago. I've kept up at least weekly rituals and devotions and have started exploring the role of warrior more. With my relationship to Freyja, my newfound joy in in a full contact sport and taking on the name of Valkyrie for it, I figure I have to at least look into the possibilities. Again, it's a part of life I never thought much about or identified with before but this activity I've taken on has prompted it. Unfortunately, my first real foray into warriors has been the mailing list and it seems to be bad timing...some drama outbreak I truly don't understand and I'm kind of just waiting for it to blow over. I'm not sure at all how this is going to play out for me, the warrior role is one that I don't know a lot about and I have some preconceived notions that are not making it easy. Wha t I do know is that becoming involved with a team of strong athletic women has changed my life. We are a family and we look out for and protect one another. We push for greatness in each other and challenge ourselves. We strengthen and train our bodies and minds to perform as best as possible. We are fierce and aggressive on the track but the second the whistle is blown we are loving and loyal to one another. We treat our opponents with the same respect we treat each other and they reciprocate. We scream about the Earth Mother giving us strength and stability as we power through squats and planks and other muscle building activities. We see a spark of divinity in ourselves and in others.
We may not be an army of soldiers fighting, they way I typically think of warriors, but we are a team of women fighting for a cause. We are fighting to prove that women are strong, that our bodies belong to ourselves and that we will do with them what we want. We are fighting to show girls and women that all shapes and sizes and types of women are valuable and necessary. We fight to unburden ourselves of the ideals of what is feminine, ladylike and acceptable for women to do. And we fight, as a team and individually, to find ourselves worthy, talented, skillful and beautiful. And honestly, I can think of no better way to honor a goddess like Freyja or to explore my own spirituality than through these ideas.
School, derby and work are keeping me busy. Busy enough that I kind of want to quit my job so I can have a life again but I keep needing that paycheck.
Derby is still the bee's knees and consumes much of my life. I've played in three bouts now and two inter league scrimmages. Monody we went somewheres downstate called Hyde Park or something to scrimmage the Hudson Valley Horrors. It was kick ass an I had two spectacular jams. My blocking was a little shit but those jams made up for it. This whole sports team thing is working out really well for me. I guess i just have a good personality for it - a need for hard physical activity and an outlet for aggression, the desire to continually improve, the approval of my peers and superiors, and relatively good coordination and balance. Someone at work called me a jock the other day and it took me by surprise - I've always pretty much disliked jocks and even though I played AYSO back in the day I never identified as athletic. It's a weird feeling but everything else about it is just so right for me. It's even pushed me spiritually.
I've been largely absent from ADF for the last few months. Work and school obligations prevented me from making grove rituals and meetings up until recently and I just stopped reading any of the mailing lists until a few days ago. I've kept up at least weekly rituals and devotions and have started exploring the role of warrior more. With my relationship to Freyja, my newfound joy in in a full contact sport and taking on the name of Valkyrie for it, I figure I have to at least look into the possibilities. Again, it's a part of life I never thought much about or identified with before but this activity I've taken on has prompted it. Unfortunately, my first real foray into warriors has been the mailing list and it seems to be bad timing...some drama outbreak I truly don't understand and I'm kind of just waiting for it to blow over. I'm not sure at all how this is going to play out for me, the warrior role is one that I don't know a lot about and I have some preconceived notions that are not making it easy. Wha t I do know is that becoming involved with a team of strong athletic women has changed my life. We are a family and we look out for and protect one another. We push for greatness in each other and challenge ourselves. We strengthen and train our bodies and minds to perform as best as possible. We are fierce and aggressive on the track but the second the whistle is blown we are loving and loyal to one another. We treat our opponents with the same respect we treat each other and they reciprocate. We scream about the Earth Mother giving us strength and stability as we power through squats and planks and other muscle building activities. We see a spark of divinity in ourselves and in others.
We may not be an army of soldiers fighting, they way I typically think of warriors, but we are a team of women fighting for a cause. We are fighting to prove that women are strong, that our bodies belong to ourselves and that we will do with them what we want. We are fighting to show girls and women that all shapes and sizes and types of women are valuable and necessary. We fight to unburden ourselves of the ideals of what is feminine, ladylike and acceptable for women to do. And we fight, as a team and individually, to find ourselves worthy, talented, skillful and beautiful. And honestly, I can think of no better way to honor a goddess like Freyja or to explore my own spirituality than through these ideas.