In the Head Girl's Room
*laying in bed, petting Crookshanks and squinting against the brilliant sunlight streaming in her window*
There are only thirteen days until our N.E.W.T.s begin. I honestly do not know that I am ready for them, although likely everyone else thinks that I am. I've organised revising schedules for Harry and Ron and have also given Hannah advice on how to better organise her time to effectively revise. All I have been doing myself lately is revising but I don't feel as though I've actually gotten anywhere.
Maybe I feel lost...or like I'm just treading endlessly in water. I'm not quite sure how to word it, but I just feel...here. Here. I'm here.
I'm here and I don't know if I'm ready to be there.
The Leaver's Ball was announced the other day. Some of my fellow Gryffindors are probably beside themselves learning new Cosmetic and Hair Charms and figuring out what dress robes they're going to wear.
But what about me?
I won't have anyone to do that with and it's my own fault.
I don't normally enjoy girlish things like that but for some reason thinking about the Leaver's Ball brings an odd sensation in the pit of my stomache--as though the bottom of it has suddenly dropped out. Lavender and Parvati and likely Ginny and Vicky Frobisher and a tonne of other girls will have each other to try out charms on and critique how their robes fit and what will I have?
*pulls Crookshanks up and sets him on her stomach, staring at his smashed-in face*
I'll have Crooks.
*closes her eyes and draws her sheet further up her frame when Crookshanks meows and leaps off of her*
I miss Ginny. We haven't talked, not really talked since that night in the DADA classroom....
I wish....
I wish things were different. I wish that she and I could help one another get ready for the Leaver's Ball and talk about summer hols and articles in The Daily Prophet and her Mum and boys and everything.
I hate to leave without being on good terms with her.
I hate to be leaving at all.
There are only thirteen days until our N.E.W.T.s begin. I honestly do not know that I am ready for them, although likely everyone else thinks that I am. I've organised revising schedules for Harry and Ron and have also given Hannah advice on how to better organise her time to effectively revise. All I have been doing myself lately is revising but I don't feel as though I've actually gotten anywhere.
Maybe I feel lost...or like I'm just treading endlessly in water. I'm not quite sure how to word it, but I just feel...here. Here. I'm here.
I'm here and I don't know if I'm ready to be there.
The Leaver's Ball was announced the other day. Some of my fellow Gryffindors are probably beside themselves learning new Cosmetic and Hair Charms and figuring out what dress robes they're going to wear.
But what about me?
I won't have anyone to do that with and it's my own fault.
I don't normally enjoy girlish things like that but for some reason thinking about the Leaver's Ball brings an odd sensation in the pit of my stomache--as though the bottom of it has suddenly dropped out. Lavender and Parvati and likely Ginny and Vicky Frobisher and a tonne of other girls will have each other to try out charms on and critique how their robes fit and what will I have?
*pulls Crookshanks up and sets him on her stomach, staring at his smashed-in face*
I'll have Crooks.
*closes her eyes and draws her sheet further up her frame when Crookshanks meows and leaps off of her*
I miss Ginny. We haven't talked, not really talked since that night in the DADA classroom....
I wish....
I wish things were different. I wish that she and I could help one another get ready for the Leaver's Ball and talk about summer hols and articles in The Daily Prophet and her Mum and boys and everything.
I hate to leave without being on good terms with her.
I hate to be leaving at all.