Okay, I take back my objections to the BloodRayne* movie
Because I have just seen the trailer for BloodRayne 3, and I have never been so sorry I ever demanded that a film franchise based on a video game actually use the plot of the video game.
As a refresher, here's what I said at the time:
Why move Rayne backwards in time to some indeterminate middle ages-y type land? What's wrong with having it set in the time frame of the first game and have Rayne fighting evil zombie Creoles and Nazis? I mean, at least you can get behind her slaughtering Nazis, right? I bet that's what the development team thought when they made the game...
Then I saw this trailer:
I have the most incredible of bad tastes in my mouth right now. I get why Nazis are your villains, in an Uwe Boll script where the potential to mock the shit out of that concept was a bad, bad idea. (And not just because the "Germans" sound like Americans.) You can totally make Nazis your villains in a genre film, but they have to be over-the-top, scenery-chewing, take-the-piss-out-of-the-Third-Reich crazy villains. Like the zombie Nazis in Dod Sno. (Hee, I love that movie!) It's just so...icky to see some talentless hack like Uwe Boll--who thinks he's making something serious--throw them into a third BloodRayne movie.
I have to go rinse my brain with bleach.
*Oh, I still object to the first BloodRayne movie, it's just that when I actually watched it, it had the dubious honor of being not the worst vampire movie I ever saw. It also had the honor of having the worst wig in any movie until that title was usurped by Ian Ziering in Aztec Rex.
The worst vampire movie I ever saw, at the time, was Underworld: Evolution. I even had a face-off with the two movies, Underworld: Evolution and BloodRayne and, for the first and last time ever, an Uwe Boll movie was not the worst one in a line-up. At this point, I've seen several worse movies than either of them, but it must be a special victory for the overpriced Underworld movies that they've managed to beat BloodRayne after all this time.** Then again, they still have yet another ill-advised sequel or prequel or something rumored in the works, so there's always more time in this race to the bottom.
**Cause they totally felt the burn when I harshed all over them. You know it.
As a refresher, here's what I said at the time:
Why move Rayne backwards in time to some indeterminate middle ages-y type land? What's wrong with having it set in the time frame of the first game and have Rayne fighting evil zombie Creoles and Nazis? I mean, at least you can get behind her slaughtering Nazis, right? I bet that's what the development team thought when they made the game...
Then I saw this trailer:
I have the most incredible of bad tastes in my mouth right now. I get why Nazis are your villains, in an Uwe Boll script where the potential to mock the shit out of that concept was a bad, bad idea. (And not just because the "Germans" sound like Americans.) You can totally make Nazis your villains in a genre film, but they have to be over-the-top, scenery-chewing, take-the-piss-out-of-the-Third-Reich crazy villains. Like the zombie Nazis in Dod Sno. (Hee, I love that movie!) It's just so...icky to see some talentless hack like Uwe Boll--who thinks he's making something serious--throw them into a third BloodRayne movie.
I have to go rinse my brain with bleach.
*Oh, I still object to the first BloodRayne movie, it's just that when I actually watched it, it had the dubious honor of being not the worst vampire movie I ever saw. It also had the honor of having the worst wig in any movie until that title was usurped by Ian Ziering in Aztec Rex.
The worst vampire movie I ever saw, at the time, was Underworld: Evolution. I even had a face-off with the two movies, Underworld: Evolution and BloodRayne and, for the first and last time ever, an Uwe Boll movie was not the worst one in a line-up. At this point, I've seen several worse movies than either of them, but it must be a special victory for the overpriced Underworld movies that they've managed to beat BloodRayne after all this time.** Then again, they still have yet another ill-advised sequel or prequel or something rumored in the works, so there's always more time in this race to the bottom.
**Cause they totally felt the burn when I harshed all over them. You know it.