Oops. It's a fanfic.
I swear I didn't mean to write it. I meant to finish folding the laundry. It's been forever and a day since I felt the urge to write anything. I don't know if this is a good thing or not.
Title: Loneliness
Author: Trindajae
Date: 07 March 2008
Rating: G
Spoilers: Sam's POV for the last scene of SGA 4x19
Summary: That nagging sense that something is off... is loneliness.
I realized what was wrong as I watched Carson get put into stasis. That nagging sense that something is off... is loneliness. Part of me is longing for the old days, when life was no more nor less complicated than traveling off-world with my team, gathering allies and weapons in our fight against the goa'uld. Now I find that entire weeks go by without me once thinking about where Ba'al is, or what the remaining System Lords may be getting up to, or even whether my former teammates have gotten themselves into any serious scrapes while I've been gone. That passing time saddens me and I almost wish that I could turn back the clock to the days when we were just starting to explore the galaxy.
Don't get me wrong. I love my job. I love the people here. Atlantis is a beautiful city full of new discoveries to explore. If I was ten years younger and still a captain, I would no doubt be having the time of my life.
But times and people change. As Teal'c said, command has been good for me. I think it's possible that I am more myself now than I was before I came. I just can't help but feel as if there is something missing, something I haven't done yet in my life.
Carson is by all accounts a wonderful doctor and exactly the kind of person the Stargate and Atlantis projects work so hard to recruit. I know from the looks on everyone's faces that he is and will continue to be deeply missed. But when the stasis box finished its work, it wasn't Carson's face I was seeing through the ice.
Carson is not who I miss.
Title: Loneliness
Author: Trindajae
Date: 07 March 2008
Rating: G
Spoilers: Sam's POV for the last scene of SGA 4x19
Summary: That nagging sense that something is off... is loneliness.
I realized what was wrong as I watched Carson get put into stasis. That nagging sense that something is off... is loneliness. Part of me is longing for the old days, when life was no more nor less complicated than traveling off-world with my team, gathering allies and weapons in our fight against the goa'uld. Now I find that entire weeks go by without me once thinking about where Ba'al is, or what the remaining System Lords may be getting up to, or even whether my former teammates have gotten themselves into any serious scrapes while I've been gone. That passing time saddens me and I almost wish that I could turn back the clock to the days when we were just starting to explore the galaxy.
Don't get me wrong. I love my job. I love the people here. Atlantis is a beautiful city full of new discoveries to explore. If I was ten years younger and still a captain, I would no doubt be having the time of my life.
But times and people change. As Teal'c said, command has been good for me. I think it's possible that I am more myself now than I was before I came. I just can't help but feel as if there is something missing, something I haven't done yet in my life.
Carson is by all accounts a wonderful doctor and exactly the kind of person the Stargate and Atlantis projects work so hard to recruit. I know from the looks on everyone's faces that he is and will continue to be deeply missed. But when the stasis box finished its work, it wasn't Carson's face I was seeing through the ice.
Carson is not who I miss.