(FIC) JE Jokes part 2
1~ Vase
Pairing: Kameda
Ueda and a Kame were talking. Ueda complained, "Every time Ryo brings home flowers, I have to to spend the weekend with my legs in the air. "
Kame asks, "Don't you have a vase? "
2~ Open your mouth
Pairing: Koyama x Oc
koyama is suffering from a sore throat so he goes to see the doctor. he explains the problem to the doctor who asks him to sit down. He gets out his light and says
"Open wide. "
"I can't " replies Koyama, "the chair's fitted with arms. "
3~ Generous
Pairing: Nakame
"I was in a very generous mood today," Kame says to his friend."I gave a poor beggar $25. "
"Thats a lot of money to give away," says his friend.
"What did your husband say? "
"He said, 'Thank you'. "
4~ Affair
pairing: TegoPi
"The thrill is gone from my marriage," Yamapi told his best friend,Ryo.
"Why not add some intrigue to your life, and have an affair? " Ryo suggested.
"But what if my Yuya finds out? "
"Heck, we are almost on the begining of the 21st centrury, Pi. Go ahead and tell him about it! "
So Yamapi went home and said, "Yuya, I think an affair will bring us closer together. "
"Forget it," said Tegoshi. "I've tried that many times - it never worked. "
5~ I can't hear you
Pairing: KoKame
A concerned Koki went to a doctor to talk about his partner. He says to the doctor, "Doctor, I think my partner is deaf because he never hears me the first time and always asks me to repeat things. "
"Well," the doctor replied, "go home and tonight stand about 15 feet from him and say something to him. If he doesn't reply move about 5 feet close and say it again. Keep doing this so that we'll get an idea about the severity of his deafness ".
Sure enough, Koki goes home and does exactly as instructed. He starts off about 15 feet from Kame in the kitchen as he is chopping some vegetables and says, "Kazu, what's for dinner? " He hears no response.
He moves about 5 feet closer and asks again. No reply. He moves 5 feet closer. Still no reply. He gets fed up and moves right behind him, about an inch away, and asks again, "Kazu, what's for dinner? "
Kame replies, "For the fourth time, vegetable stew! "
6~ Remote control
Pairing: Matsumiya
"Cash, check or charge? " the cashier asked after folding items Matsumoto Jun wished to purchase. As he fumbled for his wallet the cashier notices a remote control for a television set in his jacket pocket.
"Do you always carry your TV remote? " the cahsier asked.
"No," he replied. "But Nino refused to come shopping with me, so I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him. "
7~ A well laid out plan
Pairing: Pin
"First," said Jin,"I'm going to buy you a few drinks and get you a bit loose. "
"Oh no you're not," said Yamapi.
"Then I'll take you to dinner and ply you with a few more drinks. "
"Oh no you're not. "
"Then I'll take you to my place and keep serving you drinks. "
"Oh no you're not. "
"Then I'm going to make violent, passionate love to you. "
"Oh no you're not. "
"And I'm not going to wear a condom either! " said Jin.
"Oh yes you are! " said Yamapi
8~ gonna get lucky
Pairing: RyoDa
Nishikido Ryo goes into a drug store to buy condoms. The pharmacist says the condoms come in packs of 3, 9 or 12 and asks which the young man wants.
"Well," he said, "I've been seeing someone for a while and he's really hot. I want the condoms because I think tonight's "the night ". "We're having dinner with his parents, and then we're going out. And I've got a feeling I'm gonna get lucky after that. Once he's had me, he'll want me all the time, so you'd better give me the 12 pack. "The young man makes his purchase and leaves.
Later that evening, he sits down to dinner with Ueda and his parents. Ryo asks if he might give the blessing, and they agree. Ryo begins the prayer, but continues praying with his head down for several minutes after everyone starts eating.
Ueda leans over and says, "You never told me that you were such a religious person. "
Ryo leans over to Ueda and says, "You never told me that your father was a pharmacist. "
Pairing: Kameda
Ueda and a Kame were talking. Ueda complained, "Every time Ryo brings home flowers, I have to to spend the weekend with my legs in the air. "
Kame asks, "Don't you have a vase? "
2~ Open your mouth
Pairing: Koyama x Oc
koyama is suffering from a sore throat so he goes to see the doctor. he explains the problem to the doctor who asks him to sit down. He gets out his light and says
"Open wide. "
"I can't " replies Koyama, "the chair's fitted with arms. "
3~ Generous
Pairing: Nakame
"I was in a very generous mood today," Kame says to his friend."I gave a poor beggar $25. "
"Thats a lot of money to give away," says his friend.
"What did your husband say? "
"He said, 'Thank you'. "
4~ Affair
pairing: TegoPi
"The thrill is gone from my marriage," Yamapi told his best friend,Ryo.
"Why not add some intrigue to your life, and have an affair? " Ryo suggested.
"But what if my Yuya finds out? "
"Heck, we are almost on the begining of the 21st centrury, Pi. Go ahead and tell him about it! "
So Yamapi went home and said, "Yuya, I think an affair will bring us closer together. "
"Forget it," said Tegoshi. "I've tried that many times - it never worked. "
5~ I can't hear you
Pairing: KoKame
A concerned Koki went to a doctor to talk about his partner. He says to the doctor, "Doctor, I think my partner is deaf because he never hears me the first time and always asks me to repeat things. "
"Well," the doctor replied, "go home and tonight stand about 15 feet from him and say something to him. If he doesn't reply move about 5 feet close and say it again. Keep doing this so that we'll get an idea about the severity of his deafness ".
Sure enough, Koki goes home and does exactly as instructed. He starts off about 15 feet from Kame in the kitchen as he is chopping some vegetables and says, "Kazu, what's for dinner? " He hears no response.
He moves about 5 feet closer and asks again. No reply. He moves 5 feet closer. Still no reply. He gets fed up and moves right behind him, about an inch away, and asks again, "Kazu, what's for dinner? "
Kame replies, "For the fourth time, vegetable stew! "
6~ Remote control
Pairing: Matsumiya
"Cash, check or charge? " the cashier asked after folding items Matsumoto Jun wished to purchase. As he fumbled for his wallet the cashier notices a remote control for a television set in his jacket pocket.
"Do you always carry your TV remote? " the cahsier asked.
"No," he replied. "But Nino refused to come shopping with me, so I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him. "
7~ A well laid out plan
Pairing: Pin
"First," said Jin,"I'm going to buy you a few drinks and get you a bit loose. "
"Oh no you're not," said Yamapi.
"Then I'll take you to dinner and ply you with a few more drinks. "
"Oh no you're not. "
"Then I'll take you to my place and keep serving you drinks. "
"Oh no you're not. "
"Then I'm going to make violent, passionate love to you. "
"Oh no you're not. "
"And I'm not going to wear a condom either! " said Jin.
"Oh yes you are! " said Yamapi
8~ gonna get lucky
Pairing: RyoDa
Nishikido Ryo goes into a drug store to buy condoms. The pharmacist says the condoms come in packs of 3, 9 or 12 and asks which the young man wants.
"Well," he said, "I've been seeing someone for a while and he's really hot. I want the condoms because I think tonight's "the night ". "We're having dinner with his parents, and then we're going out. And I've got a feeling I'm gonna get lucky after that. Once he's had me, he'll want me all the time, so you'd better give me the 12 pack. "The young man makes his purchase and leaves.
Later that evening, he sits down to dinner with Ueda and his parents. Ryo asks if he might give the blessing, and they agree. Ryo begins the prayer, but continues praying with his head down for several minutes after everyone starts eating.
Ueda leans over and says, "You never told me that you were such a religious person. "
Ryo leans over to Ueda and says, "You never told me that your father was a pharmacist. "