When Love Is Not Enough, Prologue

Jul 19, 2012 16:32


Title: When Love Is Not Enough
Author: trieze0713
Pairing: Yunho/Jaejoong
Length: Chaptered
Genres: AU, Drama, Angst, Romance
Warnings: Foul languages, child abuse
Rating: PG 13 - NC 17

Summary:

They were married for a reason. One was head over heels towards the other. The other was just trying to make things easier. It takes two to tango, and it takes two to make a marriage works. One is never enough. Love is not enough.

He is haunted by a nightmare that seemed to never go away. And now he wants to save another for a good reason. But when the past keeps trying to bait him back and preventing him from moving on, is love enough to make someone free?

He thought he had found what he was looking for, a picture perfect family that he always longed for in his childhood dreams. But reality is not always about rainbow and unicorns, or happily ever after. When patience runs thin and infidelity scars the purity of his love, whom can he share his love with? When even his life is not enough to make the other loves him.



Prologue

Yunho - age 21, Infidelity

What is love?

The question that earth's most population has asked but none has the answer. He's just one among those who question it in his head. And live with the unanswered question through his broken heart.

He thought it's enough to feel love and do your best to make it work between him and his husband. No one told him that it doesn't work that way. He's loved him for as long as he can remember, but in the end here he is... broken and wounded and thought if he ever mattered in the life of the man he loved more than his life.

It felt like a hundred knives were stabbing his heart when he hears their voices sipping out through the crack of their bedroom door; the room that he just left 15 minutes ago.

"Call my name Jae! Call my name!! Tell me you want it hard!!"

"Give it to me Chun, give it to me!"

"I bet he never treat you this way, huh!! Tell me I'm the best!"

"You're the best!"

"Is this hard enough for you Jae, is this hard enough?"

"Aaaargh, don't stop for fuck's sake, don't stop!!"

And he heard them calling each other's name in their heat. He wanted to die. Jaejoong never called his name when they made love.

He wanted to turn away and run but his mind told him something else. If he's going to lose his love today, at least he shouldn't lose the thing that he worked harder to guarantee his future.

So he waited with his shaking hands on the door handle, listening to the shouts of love declaration and lustful demands from the other side of the door. He didn't remember how long he stands there or if he still heard anything but the door was suddenly opened before him.

And what did he see in the face of another man in front of him? Was it fear or was it pride? His mouth was opened in his effort to say something but eventually he gave up. He pushed that man aside and strode into the bedroom -- their bedroom.

The shocked face of his husband was the last thing that he saw as he snatched his thesis from the bedside table.

"I need this for my presentation today." He stood still after 3 steps but refused to turn and look into the eyes of the one who betrayed him. He waited... silently hoping to hear something or some kind of an apology. After half a minute he knew that he was hoping too much, the way he always did for the past 1 year.

He turned on his heels like he was fine and stopped by the door frame as he passed his husband’s lover. “I’ll be staying at my parents. We’ll need to talk but… I guess not tonight. Bye.”

As he left, he was thinking of a better reason to tell his parents why he wouldn't stay there for awhile. His parents were one thing, but his brother was a bigger thing. How would he tell him and not having to ask his parent to watch out whether he would sneak out of the house and kill Jaejoong? The boy has a serious issue that his parents are still reluctant to tell him ever since he came to live as his brother 5 years ago.

Maybe he shouldn't tell him... He's so confused... he didn't even know if he'd survive the sessions with his professors for his final thesis today. He wanted to just break down and cried, but life is more complicated than that.

He'll survive the day in heartbreak and pain if that's what it takes... like he always did... how cruel those words could be.

~o~o~

Changmin - age 17, Nightmares

He woke up with a scream, and fortunately there was no one in the house since it's still noon.

It's not good... really not good... He had skipped his therapy session once again but that wasn't enough reason for the nightmare to return. When it does, nothing good would come out of it, his day would be hell.

Changmin tried to breath normally, but it's hard to when he was he couldn't get rid of the dark clouds hanging around his eyelids, calling him to get into darkness once again.

He fought hard and reached out into his drawer for a bottle of pills... he took one - spilled the others onto the carpeted floor in the process - and popped it into his mouth and swallowed dry.  He didn't need water anymore after taking the goddamn anti-depressant for 2 years, he could handle it.

He fell back on the bed, his shirt felt sticky.

And realized that he hadn't seen his brother for almost 2 weeks.

Mom and Dad said that he's busy with his final thesis... and of course without saying he knew what else kept him busy. That bastard husband of his, Kim Jaejoong. Gosh, how he hates that man! Only his love for his family prevented him from punching the hell out of that guy. Yes, he was against Yunho's marriage with the selfish bastard, but his hatred was caused by much more than a mere brother complex like others used to tease him.

Yunho is his ground... his anchor... the one that made his existence matters.

His psychiatrist told him to start depending on his own self. To stop hanging on Yunho's neck for dear life. To start living life like he's supposed to be.

In other words: She's telling him to start a life of a normal 17 years old.

But the woman is an idiot.

She didn't know how he feels inside, still doesn't know his nightmares.

He wanted to tell his parents that seeing her had been useless.

But Mom's pleading look was something that he couldn't bear and Dad's gentle squeeze on his shoulder felt too demanding.

Especially Yunho's silent request. He didn't have to say anything to him, but his eyes spoke enough.

He could never say no the people who gave him a second chance to live.

So he bears the weekly meeting with the idiotic psychiatrist, she's been paid anyway.

And he struggled just to get by day after day...

But today doesn't feel like any other day...

Today he could hear a roaring thunder in his head.

It won't be a good day for Jung Changmin. Or at least that's what he's been called since 5 years ago... When his family expected him to forget that he was once Sim Changmin.

Just the remembrance of the name made him sick.

And he ran to toilet to empty his stomach... shit, he's wasting another pill.

~o~o~

Jaejoong - age 24, Undeserved

He didn't make a mistake. It was all Yunho's mistake.

He wasn't in the wrong here, he never wanted the marriage in the first place. His mother said that it would be good for him.

But look what had he done? A year after, his husband found him banging his manager in their bedroom. On their bed.

He's fucked up.

But it's not news. He always knew how fucked up he was. Or at least he had been for the past 9 years.

“I’ll be staying at my parents. We’ll need to talk but… I guess not tonight. Bye.”

Was Yunho really thinking that they're going to talk any soon? Tch, how naive. It's him that he was thinking about, it's his parents and psycho of a brother. His own mother he could handle, but not Yunho's parents who had been acting more like his own compared to his mother for the past year since he was married to their son. The beloved and perfect Son.

But he knew he wouldn't be able to deal with Changmin.

Yunho said that he's not bad, but he knew better. Only a devil can see another devil. And that boy had a dangerous one. And that made him shiver in fear.

Would it better if he pretends to be sorry and wait for Yunho at the Jung's house before he comes home and tell his family about his infidelity?

His head hurts... he couldn't think... and Yoochun's not there to make him forget of his fucked up life.

Yeah, he's fucked up BIG TIME.

And he laughed like a maniac... strangely, he couldn't stop the tears that's falling from his eyes at the same time.

Does he miss Yunho already?

Maybe he does... after all, he's the only one who doesn't think that he's really that fucked up.

But he left... maybe now he starts thinking that indeed, Kim Jaejoong is one fucked up retard for ruining his only chance of happiness.

Then again... only Yunho deserves happiness... and Yunho deserves someone better than him.

Yeah... that's what it is...

~o~o~

next

A/N: Hello... I'm back with a new story... First off, don't expect me to update fast. Other than work, this story is quite depressing for me to write. But I really can't get it out of my head so wrote it anyway.

And... I had a hard time with LJ posting this too, the font's size changes and somehow I couldn't edit it *cries*. So forgive me if it looks a bit messy. I'll find a way to fix it somehow. Thanks!

fanfic, wline, yunjae

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