Till Death Do Us Part
It’s Our Battle
By the first week of the radiation, he was still able to drive himself to and from the hospital for his treatment.
By the second week of the radiation, he wasn’t in the mood to have any romantic innuendo with his husband.
Halfway through the radiation package, he was too exhausted to get to their bedroom in the second floor and chose to sleep in 1st floor’s guest room instead. Moonbin and Changmin took turns to drive him, whom ever has the time. And Jaejoong grew quieter at home though he still tended to him like he always had.
He’s now on his 20th treatment, he’s lost weight and the skin around his groin is getting darker if not turning grayish due to the radiation effect. Though he’s hopeful that this treatment would solve his problem and get rid of the cancer once and for all, somehow his guts told him differently. He doesn’t feel better, if possible he feels whatever inside him is eating him up. More than that lately he felt an unexplainable tingling pain on his back whenever he tried to sit.
The sound of a pair of barefoot tiptoeing inside his room made him opened his eyes and the bedside dipped when his husband laid next to him. He instinctively put his arm around his shoulder, but careful not to let their body touched too close. The burnt skin on his abdomen is very sensitive to touch, it hurts.
“Hey baby, why are you down here? Aren’t you sleepy?” He closed his eye, caressing Jaejoong’s arms.
“I miss you.” Jaejoong whispered on his ear and made his heart clenched at the longing in his heart to touch him intimately.
“I’m sorry.” His husband laid still. And he opened his eyes to look into his eyes, surprised to see a hurtful look in there.
“Why do you keep saying you’re sorry? Did you plan to get sick? Did you plan to die? Stop saying it as if you’re the one at fault! It’s not your fault that you get sick and I know for sure that you didn’t want to get sick.”
He was at a loss. This would be the first time that Jaejoong showed an emotion since his radiation started. He pushed himself to sit, leaning on the headboard, and pretended to hide the pain that pierced through his heart.
“I’m- I guess I- I…” he stuttered with his words and was hoping that Jaejoong returned to their bedroom upstairs.
“You don’t let me take you to the therapy sessions; you didn’t let me go with you to the doctor. I tried to understand that you needed time, but I’m your husband! I want to share your pain like you always insisted to have half of mine! If you shut me out when you needed me most then what’s the use of going through the troubles of being married, we might as well lived in our own place so no one hurts when one of us think it’s not worth maintaining the relationships anymore!” the other man also sat and rubbed his face frustratingly.
“Did you regret marrying me?”
Jaejoong looked at him in disbelief. “God, Yunho! You really this is about it? Why would I reg-“
“I have become a burden to you, haven’t I?”
“What the…”
“You used to have a better life and it could have been better without me!” He knew he was saying nonsense, he knew he was saying things that he shouldn’t have said. But he couldn’t helped it. He always wondered why Jaejoong would marry him, an orphaned PE teacher at an International School. Though his salary was not bad, it was nothing compared to Jaejoong’s wealth as the only son of a rich family.
He always thought that he’s fortunate to have him as a husband, but lately the medication drained his energy and more negative things sipped into his mind. He doesn’t want to die and leave him sad and broken, but somehow he felt that death is watching and waiting for him at the end of the road.
“Yunho!” If his words before brought a painful look for his husband, he’s tearing apart now. “How could you?”
He should’ve just shut his mouth, but he couldn’t stop his tongue. “You can find someone else after I die.”
The next thing he knew the water inside the glass on his bedside had drenched him. And it wet the burnt part on his abdomen that’s not supposed to touch any kind of liquid. He yelped as he jumped from the bed and hissed at the pain as if someone had just rubbed his belly with a sandpaper.
Jaejoong stood horror, he completely forgot about it. “Oh God. OH GOD! Yun- I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to- OH GOD, Bin!!”
Moonbin raced to the guest room and went pale at the sight of his Dad doubled over by the bedside and with what seemed to be some water around his feet. His Daddy was panicking at his side… he put two and two together sighed at fact was dawning on him. His Daddy’s crying in hysterics while his Dad kept hissing painfully while trying to stand up straight. He quickly strode over his parents.
“Daddy, let go. Let’s try to put Dad on the other side of the bed that’s not wet. Come on Dad, can you make it?” Yunho nodded and they all moved to place Yunho on the bed.
As soon he was seated, Jaejoong held his head and cried a river, “I’m sorry baby, I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to, but stop saying things like that to me. You’ll make it, you’ll be fine…”
Yunho was also crying, “I’m sorry to put you in this situation, I don’t want to hurt you… we both hurt each other, I’m sorry too…”
His husband cupped his face in his hands, “Promise me that you’ll let me help you? It hurts, but it will hurt me more if I’m not there when you need me, honey. Please… let me share your pain… isn’t that what we vowed on our wedding? To share the pain as well the happiness? Don’t be hurt alone… I’m here honey, I’m here… Binnie is here too…”
Yunho was sobbing into Jaejoong’s chest, “I’m sorry… I’m sorry… “
“Sush… stop saying sorry… you’re hurt, it’s painful, I know… I understand… Let me take care of you…”
Moonbin walked closer and rubbed his Dad’s leg, “Yeah Dad, you’re no Superman… We’re here for you, it’s not your battle, it’s our battle together as family. We’ll get through it…”
~ o ~ o ~
Jaejoong watched his husband’s breathing evened out as he fell into slumber in his arms. Moonbin is sitting next to him, still running comforting touch on his husband’s leg.
After the emotional family vow to fight the cancer together, Yunho was totally exhausted and he threw up. Might be because of the emotional toll and relief that he’s not alone on this. How he managed to keep it all to himself all this time really pained him.
Their relationship started like a fairy tale… a commoner marrying a rich boy. He paid for their wedding trip to Vegas but as soon as their married Yunho told him that everything regarding the household should come from his paycheck. Gas, electricity and utilities. Moonbin’s school tuition included but since Jaejoong had wanted him to go to a good school on the day they brought him home after his adoption was finalized (and expensive), Yunho gave in on one condition - the university tuition should come from him. So he’d been saving money with the little paycheck as a PE teacher. He had nothing left for himself every month so sometimes Jaejoong bought him small things to spoil him. He knew Yunho hated it when he bought him expensive stuff, so many times a special dinner or a nice polo shirt was presented to his surprise.
In exchange, his husband worked harder to provide for the household. He’s very proud of him and never once he looked down on him just because he couldn’t give him more than he could have had. And Yunho was also the reason that he didn’t mingle with his old friend who looked down on him, he had enough with Yunho, Moonbin and Yunho’s step brother Changmin. There’s also his brother Junsu and their family friend Yoochun who still hang around them and treat them like any other normal family.
He saw that the Yunho’s abdomen skin wasn’t that red anymore and he lifted down his shirt to cover it.
“Daddy…”
“I know, baby. I didn’t know what to say but he hurt me. We’re both hurt. I’m sorry if we hurt you too…” He reached out to touch his son.
Moonbin took his hand and gripped it. “We all hurt… But we promised that we’ll get through it, didn’t we? It’s our battle. So you might want to prepare your weapons starting tomorrow.”
“Which are?” he smiled at his son.
“Healthy food, smiles, and show Dad that he’s not alone in this. Let’s work it out, Daddy.”
“Yeah…” he whispered back to him. “It’s Our Battle.”
For the first time in 20 years, the three of them slept together in the guest room. Yunho was sandwiched between his husband and his Son. They’re going to the battle together.
~ o ~ o ~
Next
By the first week of the radiation, he was still able to drive himself to and from the hospital for his treatment.
By the second week of the radiation, he wasn’t in the mood to have any romantic innuendo with his husband.
Halfway through the radiation package, he was too exhausted to get to their bedroom in the second floor and chose to sleep in 1st floor’s guest room instead. Moonbin and Changmin took turns to drive him, whom ever has the time. And Jaejoong grew quieter at home though he still tended to him like he always had.
He’s now on his 20th treatment, he’s lost weight and the skin around his groin is getting darker if not turning grayish due to the radiation effect. Though he’s hopeful that this treatment would solve his problem and get rid of the cancer once and for all, somehow his guts told him differently. He doesn’t feel better, if possible he feels whatever inside him is eating him up. More than that lately he felt an unexplainable tingling pain on his back whenever he tried to sit.
The sound of a pair of barefoot tiptoeing inside his room made him opened his eyes and the bedside dipped when his husband laid next to him. He instinctively put his arm around his shoulder, but careful not to let their body touched too close. The burnt skin on his abdomen is very sensitive to touch, it hurts.
“Hey baby, why are you down here? Aren’t you sleepy?” He closed his eye, caressing Jaejoong’s arms.
“I miss you.” Jaejoong whispered on his ear and made his heart clenched at the longing in his heart to touch him intimately.
“I’m sorry.” His husband laid still. And he opened his eyes to look into his eyes, surprised to see a hurtful look in there.
“Why do you keep saying you’re sorry? Did you plan to get sick? Did you plan to die? Stop saying it as if you’re the one at fault! It’s not your fault that you get sick and I know for sure that you didn’t want to get sick.”
He was at a loss. This would be the first time that Jaejoong showed an emotion since his radiation started. He pushed himself to sit, leaning on the headboard, and pretended to hide the pain that pierced through his heart.
“I’m- I guess I- I…” he stuttered with his words and was hoping that Jaejoong returned to their bedroom upstairs.
“You don’t let me take you to the therapy sessions; you didn’t let me go with you to the doctor. I tried to understand that you needed time, but I’m your husband! I want to share your pain like you always insisted to have half of mine! If you shut me out when you needed me most then what’s the use of going through the troubles of being married, we might as well lived in our own place so no one hurts when one of us think it’s not worth maintaining the relationships anymore!” the other man also sat and rubbed his face frustratingly.
“Did you regret marrying me?”
Jaejoong looked at him in disbelief. “God, Yunho! You really this is about it? Why would I reg-“
“I have become a burden to you, haven’t I?”
“What the…”
“You used to have a better life and it could have been better without me!” He knew he was saying nonsense, he knew he was saying things that he shouldn’t have said. But he couldn’t helped it. He always wondered why Jaejoong would marry him, an orphaned PE teacher at an International School. Though his salary was not bad, it was nothing compared to Jaejoong’s wealth as the only son of a rich family.
He always thought that he’s fortunate to have him as a husband, but lately the medication drained his energy and more negative things sipped into his mind. He doesn’t want to die and leave him sad and broken, but somehow he felt that death is watching and waiting for him at the end of the road.
“Yunho!” If his words before brought a painful look for his husband, he’s tearing apart now. “How could you?”
He should’ve just shut his mouth, but he couldn’t stop his tongue. “You can find someone else after I die.”
The next thing he knew the water inside the glass on his bedside had drenched him. And it wet the burnt part on his abdomen that’s not supposed to touch any kind of liquid. He yelped as he jumped from the bed and hissed at the pain as if someone had just rubbed his belly with a sandpaper.
Jaejoong stood horror, he completely forgot about it. “Oh God. OH GOD! Yun- I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to- OH GOD, Bin!!”
Moonbin raced to the guest room and went pale at the sight of his Dad doubled over by the bedside and with what seemed to be some water around his feet. His Daddy was panicking at his side… he put two and two together sighed at fact was dawning on him. His Daddy’s crying in hysterics while his Dad kept hissing painfully while trying to stand up straight. He quickly strode over his parents.
“Daddy, let go. Let’s try to put Dad on the other side of the bed that’s not wet. Come on Dad, can you make it?” Yunho nodded and they all moved to place Yunho on the bed.
As soon he was seated, Jaejoong held his head and cried a river, “I’m sorry baby, I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to, but stop saying things like that to me. You’ll make it, you’ll be fine…”
Yunho was also crying, “I’m sorry to put you in this situation, I don’t want to hurt you… we both hurt each other, I’m sorry too…”
His husband cupped his face in his hands, “Promise me that you’ll let me help you? It hurts, but it will hurt me more if I’m not there when you need me, honey. Please… let me share your pain… isn’t that what we vowed on our wedding? To share the pain as well the happiness? Don’t be hurt alone… I’m here honey, I’m here… Binnie is here too…”
Yunho was sobbing into Jaejoong’s chest, “I’m sorry… I’m sorry… “
“Sush… stop saying sorry… you’re hurt, it’s painful, I know… I understand… Let me take care of you…”
Moonbin walked closer and rubbed his Dad’s leg, “Yeah Dad, you’re no Superman… We’re here for you, it’s not your battle, it’s our battle together as family. We’ll get through it…”
~ o ~ o ~
Jaejoong watched his husband’s breathing evened out as he fell into slumber in his arms. Moonbin is sitting next to him, still running comforting touch on his husband’s leg.
After the emotional family vow to fight the cancer together, Yunho was totally exhausted and he threw up. Might be because of the emotional toll and relief that he’s not alone on this. How he managed to keep it all to himself all this time really pained him.
Their relationship started like a fairy tale… a commoner marrying a rich boy. He paid for their wedding trip to Vegas but as soon as their married Yunho told him that everything regarding the household should come from his paycheck. Gas, electricity and utilities. Moonbin’s school tuition included but since Jaejoong had wanted him to go to a good school on the day they brought him home after his adoption was finalized (and expensive), Yunho gave in on one condition - the university tuition should come from him. So he’d been saving money with the little paycheck as a PE teacher. He had nothing left for himself every month so sometimes Jaejoong bought him small things to spoil him. He knew Yunho hated it when he bought him expensive stuff, so many times a special dinner or a nice polo shirt was presented to his surprise.
In exchange, his husband worked harder to provide for the household. He’s very proud of him and never once he looked down on him just because he couldn’t give him more than he could have had. And Yunho was also the reason that he didn’t mingle with his old friend who looked down on him, he had enough with Yunho, Moonbin and Yunho’s step brother Changmin. There’s also his brother Junsu and their family friend Yoochun who still hang around them and treat them like any other normal family.
He saw that the Yunho’s abdomen skin wasn’t that red anymore and he lifted down his shirt to cover it.
“Daddy…”
“I know, baby. I didn’t know what to say but he hurt me. We’re both hurt. I’m sorry if we hurt you too…” He reached out to touch his son.
Moonbin took his hand and gripped it. “We all hurt… But we promised that we’ll get through it, didn’t we? It’s our battle. So you might want to prepare your weapons starting tomorrow.”
“Which are?” he smiled at his son.
“Healthy food, smiles, and show Dad that he’s not alone in this. Let’s work it out, Daddy.”
“Yeah…” he whispered back to him. “It’s Our Battle.”
For the first time in 20 years, the three of them slept together in the guest room. Yunho was sandwiched between his husband and his Son. They’re going to the battle together.
~ o ~ o ~
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