This is purgatory.
It's weird to be back. Beginning something once again is always hard.
The bar came and went. My friends come and go. I'm unemployed and I have to go to traffic school (short story, but I'd rather not repeat it here). I look for jobs half-heartedly - I'm afraid to set into motion my own career, but at the same time this limbo I'm in leaves me listless and wandering.
I have vivid dreams these days, for which I am thankful. I hadn't had any while I was studying for the bar, although I was afflicted with a sense of impending doom beginning the second week of July. It wasn't until shortly after the bar that I found out my mom had been hospitalized in Taiwan that week. No one told me.
It happened the week I had the feeling that something was horribly wrong. She had gone back to visit my grandmother, who had fallen for no reason once at the subway, once in the backyard laundry room where she was washing her hair. At the time I thought something had happened to my grandmother, but in fact it was my mother. She had gotten pneumonia. No one knew, which was just like her.
I guess they were afraid it was SARS at first. But ultimately the high fever and infection in her lungs kept her in the hospital for a week. She must have been quite ill since the hospital didn't even have an available bed for my grandmother, a 74-year-old woman who had suffered a stroke this year and was now passing out for no reason.
I hate finding things out too late.
The bar came and went. My friends come and go. I'm unemployed and I have to go to traffic school (short story, but I'd rather not repeat it here). I look for jobs half-heartedly - I'm afraid to set into motion my own career, but at the same time this limbo I'm in leaves me listless and wandering.
I have vivid dreams these days, for which I am thankful. I hadn't had any while I was studying for the bar, although I was afflicted with a sense of impending doom beginning the second week of July. It wasn't until shortly after the bar that I found out my mom had been hospitalized in Taiwan that week. No one told me.
It happened the week I had the feeling that something was horribly wrong. She had gone back to visit my grandmother, who had fallen for no reason once at the subway, once in the backyard laundry room where she was washing her hair. At the time I thought something had happened to my grandmother, but in fact it was my mother. She had gotten pneumonia. No one knew, which was just like her.
I guess they were afraid it was SARS at first. But ultimately the high fever and infection in her lungs kept her in the hospital for a week. She must have been quite ill since the hospital didn't even have an available bed for my grandmother, a 74-year-old woman who had suffered a stroke this year and was now passing out for no reason.
I hate finding things out too late.