(no subject)
Thanksgivng break was unbelievable. I want to go back right now. 18 days until I can be whole again with the ones that I love so much.
I feel so alone out here. Everyone has their own lives with all this shit going on in it and I'm sort of just lagging behind... floating along, doing what I need to in order to get by but nothing of any real substance is involved in that. If I don't get into a sorority I will 100% transfer. I don't care if it's to RCC for a semester, I won't be staying here.
This is such a shitty feeling. I've felt this way all day. I called my parents crying last night and I cried today also and it just fucking sucks. I want to go home to my family and friends and be HAPPY, not feel like I have no one. I know it's not me because I have all these friends at home and everywhere else. It shouldn't be this hard to adjust here by now, I should have a life here... And I just don't. I hate it. I hate being unhappy. And it can't be fixed. I hate that I'm relying so much on this whole sorority thing to make EVERYTHING better when I don't even know if it will. I'll still be living in the apartment with fucking psycho Kelly who fucking steals my food and rearranges my shit as she so pleases. I want to punch her in the face and shove pills down her throat because she's so insane. (Now I sound like the insane one.) Ughhhhh.
18 DAYS!!!!!!
So instead of saying all of your goodbyes let them know you realize that life goes fast it's hard to make the good things last