In my defense, I was not the one who called her. Although in my dad's defense, he told me he was going to call my mom, and at first I was like "DON'T DO THAT, DON'T" he kept asking and eventually I became so sedated I was pretty much going "uh huh" to every thing.
Oh yeah, she's also under the belief I keep trying to kill myself to get back at her. I love that one. Because there's possibly no way I might just not want to LIVE, it's because I'm pissed at her and want revenge. I totally keep ending up in the ER, getting my stomach pumped, and begging no one to tell her and not telling her for months, for revenge.
She brought me a gift too, a bag of candy, when she came to get me. This was after I told a lot of the staff my mom abused me.
Regardless of rights, I don't think they should have allowed her to see me.
My dad isn't closer. He lives in Monticello, which is 4 hours away. My mom is in Russelville (London, actually, it's not too far from Russelville) which is about an hour and 30 minutes.
She told me that she was going to cut herself off from my life. But she'll probably change her mind. I honestly don't know what else to do, there is no way to get her to leave me alone, even if I ignore her and don't talk to her at all.
My dad said if I keep doing this I have to come back home and live with him again. I'm wondering if this is the right decision. On the other hand, I hated my hometown and it made me even more miserable. That was probably one of the few real environmental factors I had. At least the misery and despair of how I'm stuck in a shitty town with a lot of people I hate and how I'm wasting my life away at a college that accepts fucking any one as long as they have a high school degree is gone.
She claims now she never gave me Tylenol 3s. She also said: "The last time I tried to kill myself was 5-6 years ago..." I've heard "I only tried to kill myself once" multiple times from her. Remember in this same conversation she said that my memories were "distorted" and hers were fine.
My dad doesn't know half the things she did first hand, but he can confirm that my mother lies so much she begins believing her own lies, and that she will change her story from one day to the next, even. Like when I told him that she told me she had only attempted suicide once, and he said: "That's a flat out lie." Then told me the story of how one time, when they were married, before I was born, my mother got really drunk and held a gun to her head and he had to talk her down from it
( ... )
It'd just be kind of ridiculous to live with someone my entire life.
... Also, I just hate the idea, really. Honestly, I can't express how much I hate any one seeing me in that sort of state. I'm probably more frightened of that than a god damned gastric lavage.
"The only way you will ever know is to stick around to find out."
To me the problem with that argument is that I've already been doing that. S'not like this has been only going on a few months, and therefore, it's very possible things will get better. It's been 11 years.
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Oh yeah, she's also under the belief I keep trying to kill myself to get back at her. I love that one. Because there's possibly no way I might just not want to LIVE, it's because I'm pissed at her and want revenge. I totally keep ending up in the ER, getting my stomach pumped, and begging no one to tell her and not telling her for months, for revenge.
She brought me a gift too, a bag of candy, when she came to get me. This was after I told a lot of the staff my mom abused me.
Regardless of rights, I don't think they should have allowed her to see me.
My dad isn't closer. He lives in Monticello, which is 4 hours away. My mom is in Russelville (London, actually, it's not too far from Russelville) which is about an hour and 30 minutes.
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My dad said if I keep doing this I have to come back home and live with him again. I'm wondering if this is the right decision. On the other hand, I hated my hometown and it made me even more miserable. That was probably one of the few real environmental factors I had. At least the misery and despair of how I'm stuck in a shitty town with a lot of people I hate and how I'm wasting my life away at a college that accepts fucking any one as long as they have a high school degree is gone.
She claims now she never gave me Tylenol 3s. She also said: "The last time I tried to kill myself was 5-6 years ago..." I've heard "I only tried to kill myself once" multiple times from her. Remember in this same conversation she said that my memories were "distorted" and hers were fine.
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... Also, I just hate the idea, really. Honestly, I can't express how much I hate any one seeing me in that sort of state. I'm probably more frightened of that than a god damned gastric lavage.
"The only way you will ever know is to stick around to find out."
To me the problem with that argument is that I've already been doing that. S'not like this has been only going on a few months, and therefore, it's very possible things will get better. It's been 11 years.
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So when I'm 29 I can officially kill myself?
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I have never poured out alcohol before in my life.
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