Fragile Relationships
1:46 PM me: yeah, we'll be there around 6:30 or 7
i will bring the children
they haven't seen you in so long they have forgotten what you look like
little mikey is all grown up now
he often asks me when dad is coming back
1:47 PM Etienne: Well maybe if let me take them for a weekend here and there without police supervision we wouldn't have become such strangers...
1:48 PM me: oh don't turn this around on me
you knew exactly what you were doing when you picked the senate over your family
1:49 PM Etienne: I've told you again and again, just this ONE time in my life, I have to put my career before my family... I'm frankly tired of having the same conversation over and over
me: tired, are you?
let me tell you what is tiring
telling your 4 year old daughter, over and over again, that dad isn't coming home tonight
1:50 PM how did we drift so far apart
it's like i don't even know you
1:51 PM Etienne: If you can't understand that there's a greater calling for me right now, then you're right... You DON'T know me...
1:52 PM Anyway, let's just try to be civil this evening. For the kids.
me: of course
let's play happy homes for the wayward father
lets pretend everything is ok
1:53 PM well let me tell you, everything is NOT ok. can't you see we're falling apart
1:54 PM Etienne: Well if you didn't insist on exposing them to those inveterate "liberal" friends of yours, these problems wouldn't be happening... I'm tired of always having to be the one to make things right. What are YOU doing to try and fix us?
1:56 PM me: i'm sitting at home watching television all day.
1:57 PM Etienne: Typical. You deflect from the real issue with sarcasm. Listen, I'm busy. I'll see you later. Don't pollute mikey's mind with lies about me. Not again.
1:58 PM me: or what
what are you going to do about it, mr big shot political machine, don't give a fuck about my family asshole?
1:59 PM Etienne: I don't know Matthew. Maybe we can all go on a "therapy through interpretative dance" session again. Cos it was such a success the first time.
2:00 PM me: you son of a bitch i was trying to save our goddamn marriage!
i thought it was be far more therapeutic than "stay at the office and fuck my 17 year old intern"!
2:01 PM Etienne: You and your paranoia! You invent these stories to keep distance between us in your head.
2:02 PM me: stop trying to make me doubt my sanity, you insensitive son of a bitch
while you were screwing washington, i was sitting in a psychiatrists office. and you put me there!
2:04 PM Etienne: I can't do this anymore. I honestly can't. The accusations, the paranoia, the constant guilt. I don't need this anymore. THIS is why I don't come around anymore. You don't make me feel good about myself.
2:05 PM me: believe me, with an ego like yours you don't need anyone else to make you feel good
but you are right. i'm tired of the same fight every goddamn time
2:06 PM i'm tired of the hate and accusations
i'm just tired.
2:07 PM Etienne: So be it then. We're over. For good this time. Please just keep your "dance lessons" to yourself from now on.
me: how dare you
HOW DARE YOU
get out of my house!
2:08 PM that's right, i said MY house - my divorce lawyer is going to eat you alive and spit out the assets.
2:09 PM Etienne: Fine. Fine!! I don't care about the spoils!! As long as I have my freedom from you and your infernal episodes!
me: you know what amazes me?
2:10 PM that first night we spent together
in galveston
even then, i knew you were a fucking asshole
but it's been fun spending your money
and fucking all your friends.
2:11 PM Etienne: Nice. Really nice. This just confirms my decision to leave you. And for the record, it DOESN'T happen to everyone, and it IS a big deal! You're not the lover you think you are.
2:12 PM me: how would you know? i haven't been to bed sober in almost 10 years!
it's the only way i could stand your breath on me
2:13 PM and let me tell you, for the record - those aren't cold sores.
2:14 PM Etienne: What are they then? Your testicles?
me: funny
let's see how you laugh when i tell the children that daddy used to touch little children and went to prison
2:15 PM Etienne: I'd expect nothing more dignified from you. Whore.