(no subject)
was it just the alcohol or did i have fun tonight?
the thing that was in my bloodstream was more
seeing the random old friends made me wonder
what it is that im going for
and if im going to hold into myself for invisible rainbows
later on through the wire into the ear and no connection
no surprise but still i felt it sting
or am i growing into this other thing, something that can cope
and not so desperate hanging on segmented emotions thrown the other way very intentionally but not fully enough to be convincing
and maybe i have exchanged without knowing this sterile feeling
or it might just be the winter that numbs everything else
but anyway i danced and played pool and spent time with wonderful people you know who you are and ran into lots of other ones too who are equally as wonderful but i need to make up my mind already about EVERYTHING!!!! and i think that maybe i have but i am so used to my indecisiveness that taking a firm step in one direction feels forced and awkward but ???right??? urrrrrggghhhsweruioath;s eohansdas;eotiahwrthkln/grvDTIHPAENK x
the thing that was in my bloodstream was more
seeing the random old friends made me wonder
what it is that im going for
and if im going to hold into myself for invisible rainbows
later on through the wire into the ear and no connection
no surprise but still i felt it sting
or am i growing into this other thing, something that can cope
and not so desperate hanging on segmented emotions thrown the other way very intentionally but not fully enough to be convincing
and maybe i have exchanged without knowing this sterile feeling
or it might just be the winter that numbs everything else
but anyway i danced and played pool and spent time with wonderful people you know who you are and ran into lots of other ones too who are equally as wonderful but i need to make up my mind already about EVERYTHING!!!! and i think that maybe i have but i am so used to my indecisiveness that taking a firm step in one direction feels forced and awkward but ???right??? urrrrrggghhhsweruioath;s eohansdas;eotiahwrthkln/grvDTIHPAENK x