Thoughts on "Internet rage"

[trekkie76]

For 2 consecutive days I have encountered an amazing amount of nasty messages people are exchanging on 2 mailing lists I belong to (one is not on LJ). In one, a person used an outrageous amount of  profanity simply because someone else preferred a different fandom than theirs. The implication was that only stupid *%+@# people would be into it. Then

Comments

[dreamplum]

I received nasty personal attacks for trying to suggest that we relax

I'm sorry that happened and I can't excuse that particular flavor of negativity at all. But:

Then I encountered someone angrily deriding the very fandom for which the mailing list exists. If you don't like it, why are you a member of its list?

If this is about what I think it's about, just a word in her defense--I live with someone who has a LOT of problems with a good deal of K/S fiction. Not K/S itself--not the idea of K/S, but the way it's been handled in literature for forty years. Her response at the beginning was to accidentally start fights online in an attempt to figure out where the stories were that she'd like, or even to ask 'why'. Eventually, she met me, and had someone to bounce ideas off of who agreed with her so she didn't have to argue about it online anymore. For a long time now, she's realized that writing her own stories, squeezing stories out of me, complimenting the hell out of anyone who writes something she likes, and doing her best to find out which authors and zines have stories to her tastes are all MUCH more effective than trying to start random conversations online with many of the people who were never going to agree with her in the first place.

I don't know this new gal hardly at all, but I can see in her a similar set of emotions. She doesn't have a Farfalla to calm her down and take the hit for it (I've gotten "nasty personal emails" asking why I was defending Hypatia--I really didn't think that required explanation. Fandom is only fandom, after all, and no matter how cool it is, family comes first.)

To my mind, the only requirement for being "into K/S" is to think Kirk and Spock being romantically involved is awesome. So it's perfectly rational for someone to be in fandom and not really like what the bulk of fandom literature contains. I'm trying to help this woman to follow Hy's peaceful solution.

I'm sorry if I've upset you in any way for trying to defend her but I figured I could be honest with you because you like the websites I run and liked me enough to friend me on LJ :-)

Thanks for the head-clearing!

[trekkie76]

I do appreciate your candor. I probably was a bit on the testy side after getting attacked in a LJ list and I felt a little at odds with people picking on my fandoms. Kind of overboard, I know. Thanks for grounding me a little.
You're absolutely right about the true definition of a K/S fan. I got a bit hot-headed. All the hard stuff I'm going through in my life right now has made me a little cynical and I'm glad you were able to put things back in perspective for me.

Re: Thanks for the head-clearing!

[dreamplum]

I can understand being pissed off and ranting about something. I do it all the time--I blow off steam verbally like a teakettle on overdrive :P

That "true definition of a K/S fan" thing used to bother me a lot, back in the day, because I used to feel like some of them treated certain old, classic zines as mandatory reading or mandatory liking or something. For whatever reason, I've always had little interest in printzines. I'm very glad they exist (and try to help other people find zines they'd like) and I'm glad they got us where we are, but for some reason, if something's printed and it's not for me, it tends to upset me more than if something on the internet doesn't suit my fancy. I've been trying to figure out why and I think it has to do with the permanence and grandeur of the printed word.

I'm really sorry about the stuff you're going through and will try to help you today by seeing if we can go write more fic...? :P (It'll be a miracle if I can write something that doesn't somehow poke fun at my mom for calling shatfat manipulative for nagging me to get my oil changed! Some things are so ludicrous that they beg parody.)

Would love a story!

[trekkie76]

Oh, a story would certainly brighten my day!
Sorry your mom is not as understanding as you'd like (same with my mom); hope you can accept her limitations, know she probably won't change the habits she's acquired, and love her just as she is. At least that's what I try to do with my mom. But the part about loving her "just as she is", I must admit, is something I've not yet achieved. I keep expecting her to change and be more understanding of me and what I'm going through. Intellectually I know she isn't going to get it, but emotionally I keep hoping she will. Oh well, I've digressed.
Anyhow, a story--parody, comedy, AU, whatever (well, if you can skip a depressing one--I'm not up to reading sad stories right now) would be awesome!
Have a good one!