Rylie, please take this off your email list.
I now have two blogs. One for thoughts about things that don't matter but occasionally it holds a really great cryptic message, and this one. The one were anyone who would follow this expects it at this point to be about unhappy relationship issues
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While we never REALLY got to know each other, I always did secretly think we could have made it as somewhat friends. We share many similarities in aspects of our personalities (and not all the good ones! some, though!), and were even able to be somewhat cordial despite an obvious roadblock (but who gives a fuck about that crap anymore?). My point is this: Don't let loneliness and depression weigh you down. Easier said than done, I realize. And hell, if you're like me, having someone even try to talk to you about it probably makes you angry, or at least, standoffish. Who is somebody else to assume they know anything about what is going on in your life? Right. But, I do have a history of failing; for putting my heart on the line to only have it beaten to a bloody pulp. (poor wording. hearts are supposed to be bloody, you dumb shit. fuck it. I'm not editing.) I was at the highest point in my life, relationship wise, and otherwise, and within almost less than a year, it all came crashing down. I was honestly scared at what was going to happen to me. But, here I am. It's been less than four months since I was engaged to be married, and it already feels like a lifetime ago. Sure, the laundry list of part-time hookups and loads of female interest have helped to satiate my deep seeded need for attention; but it's something more than that. Maybe because of who I (you?) am, my equilibrium is only in a homeostatic balance when I'm slightly unhappy relationship wise, or rather, on the prowl (? when did this become a cheesy 80's song?). Our egos are built on getting what we want; what we feel we deserve, and if we get what we want, or what we deserve, we become bored with it. We need to keep repeating that feeling of success. Or, I guess, that's me. I can't make assumptions, we all know how that goes. AT ANY RATE, my advice to you is this: Ride the wave. Don't get caught up in each molecule of water that pushes you up towards the sun. Ride the ebb. Ride the flow. Let the crests carry you, and you may just find that where you end up is not where you expected. But sometimes a change in practice can leave you with an entirely new paradise to view.
None of that probably made any sense. I'm sorry.
It just felt necessary to me to reply, for some reason.
Keep living, Trevor.
Unequivocally,
Michael
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I appreciate it. And yes that probably unnecessary saga has long been out of my mind. Though Chardonnay and Four Loko cloud my mind (now that's a pair) I've been drafting this response all day. You're right. We are very very similar. Haha if we weren't we never would have crossed paths in the situation we did, now would we? I think we still could be friends, and I honesty hope we can be. I am sorry for what happened during the time I was involved and even more so after. You're advise not only makes sense but is very relevant. From conversations I've had in the past 24 hours it makes even more sense. You seem to be a step ahead of me and I hope it serves you well. We're both cunning linguists but you're a more clever lyricist and I hope it serves you well.
May all the best fill your future,
Trevor
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