(no subject)

[treehugger86]

She was rolling on the ground sobbing horribly. And I was the cause. She says that she just needs my help for two more years and then I'd be done. I want to be there for my family since after all they are family. However, this is all too much. I got enough strength to walk out the door for a little while. Then my grandparents called and I know I shouldn't have picked up but I think I'm addicted to the abuse. They told me how selfish I am and that's the bottom line. That everyone has always done everything for me yet I never give anything back. A lot of secrets were exposed last night. I really didn't even care anymore. This should be my breaking point but really I'm just scared and nervous as hell. My grandparents said that my mom has a heart condition that she hasn't told me about and that my added stress will probably kill her. She says that I have no future here. And that I would be stupid to build my life around another person...especially a boy who as she put it will leave me anyway. She directly placed Adam into the situation as well. Saying that if I don't move back my dad will take custody of Adam. And then she will be left with no one. And she hopes that I feel the same way someday. That opportunities open up where ever I go and the same doesn't happen to her so I should easily pick up and move. I am disowning the family by staying. I can't even handle the thought about leaving right now. It makes me sick. Yet watching me cause all this pain on my family I can't handle either. So I'm really stuck in a rock and a hard spot. I don't know what to do.

I'm so lost

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