like a dogless bone
the problem with passing is that it makes you feel hollowed out. invisible. you start to feel complicit, like you're intentionally wearing a disguise, like you're deliberately misleading people into believing that you're Like Them when you're not. and there comes a point when they make assumptions and you've been passing so long that to correct them would be incredibly awkward; it would require an extensive and very personal explanation. so you say nothing and feel ashamed. and people who don't pass call you a traitor.
the problem with being asexual is that almost no one-including much of the asexual community-treats it as a sexuality in and of itself. it's not enough to simply say: i'm asexual. you have to define what type of asexual you are. the unifying trait that defines our sexuality-the lack of sexual attraction-is apparently not enough. asexuality is treated as a subset of some other sexuality.
but it's not. not to me.
i've spent the last eight years trying not to care about the way in which the LGBT community tries to slice us up so we'll fit into the neat little labels that already exist. but guess what? i do care. i spent thirty years of my life wearing a label that didn't fit because i didn't know i had any other options. i refuse to wear one now so that i can be more palatable to people who are quite happy to treat me with the same ignorance and bigotry with which they've historically been treated. who squeeze and squeeze us into the narrowest possible definitions until our identity is all but gone.
i'm asexual. that's it. that's what i am. if that's not enough, too fucking bad. i don't want to come into your treehouse. i don't want to be part of your acronym. what i want is for you to stop trying to erase me.
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This entry was originally posted at Dreamwidth.
the problem with being asexual is that almost no one-including much of the asexual community-treats it as a sexuality in and of itself. it's not enough to simply say: i'm asexual. you have to define what type of asexual you are. the unifying trait that defines our sexuality-the lack of sexual attraction-is apparently not enough. asexuality is treated as a subset of some other sexuality.
but it's not. not to me.
i've spent the last eight years trying not to care about the way in which the LGBT community tries to slice us up so we'll fit into the neat little labels that already exist. but guess what? i do care. i spent thirty years of my life wearing a label that didn't fit because i didn't know i had any other options. i refuse to wear one now so that i can be more palatable to people who are quite happy to treat me with the same ignorance and bigotry with which they've historically been treated. who squeeze and squeeze us into the narrowest possible definitions until our identity is all but gone.
i'm asexual. that's it. that's what i am. if that's not enough, too fucking bad. i don't want to come into your treehouse. i don't want to be part of your acronym. what i want is for you to stop trying to erase me.
--
This entry was originally posted at Dreamwidth.