475
i wrote this last night and posted it privately (note to self: clean up your private tag) intending to pretty it up tonight when i got home. but, of course, when i got home, lj was broken. (and isn't it pathetic how itchy i was, thinking about how i'd miss a day in nablopomo THROUGH NO FAULT OF MY OWN?) so i am posting this exactly as i wrote it out off the top of my head, 'cause it's after 10 and i need to sleep.
why weetzie bat is horrifying, by tree.
1. weetzie is date raped by a man (boy?) named buzz. no mention is ever made of it again. because the possibility of pregnancy, STIs or trauma does not exist.
2. "You need a man," Ping said. "But just you wait."
3. the only possibilities in this book are coupling, misery or death. of the non-coupled there are four: iris (dies), vixanne (evil and miserable), brandy-lynn (miserable alcoholic and drug user) and charlie (miserable and then dead). even THE DOG is coupled and has puppies.
4. the only possibility for a woman is a heterosexual relationship and children.
5. gay men will still sleep with women if they truly love them!
6. passive submission to fate - weetzie waits around for her 'wish' to come true. when she meets a man who calls himself My Secret Agent Lover Man, she accepts it. she refers to him as "my wish list come true."
7. pink and glitter. that is all.
8. the coup de grâce:
"I feel like Cinderella," Weetzie said, driving around in the T-bird, wearing her kimono jacket, while My Secret Agent Lover Man covered her with kisses, and Dirk and Duck and Slinkster Dog crooned along with the radio.
Everything was fine except that Weetzie wanted a baby.
(emphasis mine, obvs)
"But I'll bet he likes it when he sees it" - Dirk
"But we want a baby and we love each other," Weetzie said.
"I love you, Weetz. I love you, Dirk," Duck said.
"'I Wanna Hold Your Hand,'" the Beatles said.
And that was how Weetzie and Dirk and Duck made the baby--well, at least that was how it began, and no one could be sure if that was really the night, but that comes later on.
so My Secret Agent Lover Man (whose name is really max) is understandably angered and leaves. nine months later, weetzie gives birth and at some not-too-distant point max returns and they all happily raise the child together.
WHAT.
of course, then we find out that while he was away, max got caught up in a pseudo-satanic cult and had sex with a woman who subsequently got pregnant and forced him to give her abortion money by hexing him. weetzie then has the gall to be angry with him but then magnanimously "she knew she couldn't be mad for long." then it turns out that vixanne didn't have the abortion but instead drops her baby off on the front doorstep. said baby is then raised as one of the family.
NO ONE SEEMS TO THINK THERE'S ANYTHING WRONG WITH ANY OF THIS??
to recap:
if you want a baby and your partner doesn't, it's totally okay to have sex with some other guys and get pregnant BY VIOLATING THE TRUST OF SOMEONE YOU PURPORT TO LOVE because after he leaves you in anger and disgust he'll eventually come back and you'll all be a big happy family for ever and ever. OMGWTFBBQ.
why weetzie bat is horrifying, by tree.
1. weetzie is date raped by a man (boy?) named buzz. no mention is ever made of it again. because the possibility of pregnancy, STIs or trauma does not exist.
2. "You need a man," Ping said. "But just you wait."
3. the only possibilities in this book are coupling, misery or death. of the non-coupled there are four: iris (dies), vixanne (evil and miserable), brandy-lynn (miserable alcoholic and drug user) and charlie (miserable and then dead). even THE DOG is coupled and has puppies.
4. the only possibility for a woman is a heterosexual relationship and children.
5. gay men will still sleep with women if they truly love them!
6. passive submission to fate - weetzie waits around for her 'wish' to come true. when she meets a man who calls himself My Secret Agent Lover Man, she accepts it. she refers to him as "my wish list come true."
7. pink and glitter. that is all.
8. the coup de grâce:
"I feel like Cinderella," Weetzie said, driving around in the T-bird, wearing her kimono jacket, while My Secret Agent Lover Man covered her with kisses, and Dirk and Duck and Slinkster Dog crooned along with the radio.
Everything was fine except that Weetzie wanted a baby.
(emphasis mine, obvs)
"But I'll bet he likes it when he sees it" - Dirk
"But we want a baby and we love each other," Weetzie said.
"I love you, Weetz. I love you, Dirk," Duck said.
"'I Wanna Hold Your Hand,'" the Beatles said.
And that was how Weetzie and Dirk and Duck made the baby--well, at least that was how it began, and no one could be sure if that was really the night, but that comes later on.
so My Secret Agent Lover Man (whose name is really max) is understandably angered and leaves. nine months later, weetzie gives birth and at some not-too-distant point max returns and they all happily raise the child together.
WHAT.
of course, then we find out that while he was away, max got caught up in a pseudo-satanic cult and had sex with a woman who subsequently got pregnant and forced him to give her abortion money by hexing him. weetzie then has the gall to be angry with him but then magnanimously "she knew she couldn't be mad for long." then it turns out that vixanne didn't have the abortion but instead drops her baby off on the front doorstep. said baby is then raised as one of the family.
NO ONE SEEMS TO THINK THERE'S ANYTHING WRONG WITH ANY OF THIS??
to recap:
if you want a baby and your partner doesn't, it's totally okay to have sex with some other guys and get pregnant BY VIOLATING THE TRUST OF SOMEONE YOU PURPORT TO LOVE because after he leaves you in anger and disgust he'll eventually come back and you'll all be a big happy family for ever and ever. OMGWTFBBQ.