Concerning...nothing
So hi everybody!
Just recognized that I am still so NOT ready to write something about that awesome 6-day-real-life-holiday in finland cause it would make me toooo homesick and I´m not in the mood for tears right now.
Actually at the moment there would be so much for me to do. I still have to finish Krissis birthday present and all that university books on my table kind of make me more and more stressed but I can´t go on with my...wtf is the english word for "Hausarbeit"?...before I finished the present.
Right now I´m just sitting here, watching some holiday videos, thinking about the past days, missing some friends and celebrating that tonight I will watch a surely so cultural-worthful movie called "Frankenfish" xD
You know the feeling when you kind of feel lost between times? That´s what I feel now. I mean...M´era Luna is over, holidays are over, university has not started yet and won´t start befor beginning of October. I´m looking forward for some things but actually I´m more thinking about the past stuff at the moment and can´t really concentrate on what is coming. Don´t like that feeling.
I need some tourdates to get me back in time I guess...Negative? Go on boys and hurry up, You saved me so often before, need you again, wanna make plans ;)
Ah and by the way I´m still smiling over my so fucked "love live"...I still do not exist for him anymore...no talking no greeting....well actually we do not see and won´t see in the next time so I guess nothing will change. So unfair that he says to have the same feelings like me but just can´t stand it right now. I understand his problems, yes, and I might be able to accept that he´is not as ready for a relationship, as he thought (even if I actually want to kill him for recognizing this " a little" late)....but how the hell it´s possible to HIM not to think of me and I have to fight for not thinking about him for just a few damn hours? It all ends up with...wanna go back to finland with the girls...there I did not think about him...at least as long as no damn so called friend thought to have to tell me that she knows so good how much he meant to him...know what girl? You have f***ing NO idea of my feelings and you don´t have ANY idea of who I am so stop pretending....That´s also something making me sad at the moment...I mean...I really liked them when we first met and then all this pretending and rumours and story-stuff started and...well...we did not have the chance to get to know any better cause in this case I did not wanted to know them any better. Maybe someday we can talk about all that but at the moment...no place in my tired head for any more problems. Same with another friend always telling me to be there for me when I need her...third time now in a few years that I needed her...she NEVER was there...also finished. No time, no place, no strenght.
But before getting totally depressed...looking back at the last months I really start feeling better. Thanks for everybody who helped me in this. Special thanks to you Krissi, without you I think I would just have gone mad. And thanks for all the girls (and the "Quotenmann Andy") that made me forget everything in the last weeks and made me just enjoy live again!
So far....last word: Kiitos ;)
P.S. first plan now: changing my LLJ-Style...can´t stand this flower bla...XD
Just recognized that I am still so NOT ready to write something about that awesome 6-day-real-life-holiday in finland cause it would make me toooo homesick and I´m not in the mood for tears right now.
Actually at the moment there would be so much for me to do. I still have to finish Krissis birthday present and all that university books on my table kind of make me more and more stressed but I can´t go on with my...wtf is the english word for "Hausarbeit"?...before I finished the present.
Right now I´m just sitting here, watching some holiday videos, thinking about the past days, missing some friends and celebrating that tonight I will watch a surely so cultural-worthful movie called "Frankenfish" xD
You know the feeling when you kind of feel lost between times? That´s what I feel now. I mean...M´era Luna is over, holidays are over, university has not started yet and won´t start befor beginning of October. I´m looking forward for some things but actually I´m more thinking about the past stuff at the moment and can´t really concentrate on what is coming. Don´t like that feeling.
I need some tourdates to get me back in time I guess...Negative? Go on boys and hurry up, You saved me so often before, need you again, wanna make plans ;)
Ah and by the way I´m still smiling over my so fucked "love live"...I still do not exist for him anymore...no talking no greeting....well actually we do not see and won´t see in the next time so I guess nothing will change. So unfair that he says to have the same feelings like me but just can´t stand it right now. I understand his problems, yes, and I might be able to accept that he´is not as ready for a relationship, as he thought (even if I actually want to kill him for recognizing this " a little" late)....but how the hell it´s possible to HIM not to think of me and I have to fight for not thinking about him for just a few damn hours? It all ends up with...wanna go back to finland with the girls...there I did not think about him...at least as long as no damn so called friend thought to have to tell me that she knows so good how much he meant to him...know what girl? You have f***ing NO idea of my feelings and you don´t have ANY idea of who I am so stop pretending....That´s also something making me sad at the moment...I mean...I really liked them when we first met and then all this pretending and rumours and story-stuff started and...well...we did not have the chance to get to know any better cause in this case I did not wanted to know them any better. Maybe someday we can talk about all that but at the moment...no place in my tired head for any more problems. Same with another friend always telling me to be there for me when I need her...third time now in a few years that I needed her...she NEVER was there...also finished. No time, no place, no strenght.
But before getting totally depressed...looking back at the last months I really start feeling better. Thanks for everybody who helped me in this. Special thanks to you Krissi, without you I think I would just have gone mad. And thanks for all the girls (and the "Quotenmann Andy") that made me forget everything in the last weeks and made me just enjoy live again!
So far....last word: Kiitos ;)
P.S. first plan now: changing my LLJ-Style...can´t stand this flower bla...XD