[ Michael | K | 500w | 2007-09-23 ]
It’s all about trust.
The Game
Being a spy is all about trust: gaining it, using it, exploiting it.
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It’s about getting the client to trust that you aren’t going to get them killed when you tell them to walk into a dangerous situation. That their families or their friends aren’t getting into any kind of danger that you can’t get them out of. That in the end, they’ll be safe.
It’s about getting criminals-who, really, if you had your way, you’d just as soon punch and wipe the ground with-to take you in and show you the details of their racket. To welcome you in as one of their own, all so that you can bring them down.
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Being a spy and a person is even more about trust: not giving it, and, in some cases, making sure that you don’t get it in return.
It’s about getting your almost-not-quite-girlfriend to trust that even if you can’t say the words to her, you mean the sentiment-meant it in every one of those scratches, kicks, and bullets you took to keep her out of harm’s way. Not that she needed you to. That was the whole point.
It’s about getting your friends to trust that you only lie to them because you have to, and that if they lie to you, you’ll understand that it was business. That allegiance only goes as deep as politics-which is to say, not at all-and cutting ties is just how the pawns end up falling, sometimes.
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Being a spy and a person and son and a brother is where you learned the trust game: not to expect it, never to give it, and making damn sure that you had it.
It’s about getting your mother to trust that no matter how much you hated him, you still love her. That, as many mistakes as she’s made in the past, she’s still your mom and as much as you wish you could change it when she pulls out the fifteen hours of labor story, you wouldn’t.
It’s about getting your brother to trust that, honestly, you do know what’s better for him, and as soon as he sees that, you’ll have his back. (Okay, well, even if he doesn’t, you’ll still have his back. But he really needs to start listening to you.)
At the bottom line, it’s about getting your family to trust that keeping distance from them is the best way you can keep them alive. That whatever has happened in the past, it’s really not personal. You can’t afford to let it be.
“We’re your family, Michael. I’m asking that you trust us.”
But for family, it’s never that simple. For them, it’s always personal. And you learned the game well enough growing up to understand exactly what the words “trust us” really mean: we don’t trust you.
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Being Michael Westen is all about trusting yourself, because in your line of work, you’ve made damn sure that no one else ever really will.