name change - how do you know when to start?

[kshea333]

Hi all,

I'm new to this community but I've posted before in genderqueer and other LGBTQ journals here before, so I apologize if the beginning part of this post sounds similar. I'm a female-bodied queer person who doesn't really identify with either gender, or rather fluctuates between feeling like a man and feeling like a woman. While my dress

Comments

[kshea333]

If a more gender neutral name means people are going to respond to you in a more respectful way, then that's not a wrong reason. You are the one who has to interact with dozens of people a day, no one else, you get to decide... It's not wrong to want to be seen a certain way, and it's not wrong to decide for yourself how to get that done.

Thank you. This (and other things you said too) is really validating. It's still a fear of mine that other transgender individuals might think I'm co-opting or appropriating their space because I'm not following the same path as others (which is what one person told me years ago when I was first starting to grapple with this, that because I didn't want to completely transition to a male gender role that I wasn't really trans). It may also be influenced by past experiences when I came out as bi/queer that I was "confused" or not really queer because I was female-bodied and still had some attraction to men. But that's stuff the LGBTQ community has to deal with among itself, and I'm starting to feel confident enough that I don't need to quiet some of my gender identity or sexual orientation just b/c it doesn't fit the "mold."

Anyway, thank you for your comments :)