[controversial] on transmisogyny and male privilege

[aaskew]

(apologies in advance because this possibly comes across as a 'what about the menz? :(' post. I've tried my best not to make it so, but this is a topic I'd like to discuss further

Comments

[varanus]

I wouldn't say it was a "sexist" prejudice-I experienced it as a homophobic/transphobic one. It had nothing to do with me being perceived as a woman and everything to do with me being perceived as extremely gender variant. Had I been actually perceived as a woman, I might have gotten the sort of sexist flack that you described.

Homophobia/transphobia affected my career choices and threatened my safety. I have the feeling that if sexism didn't exist at all, the problems with me being seen as gender-variant would have lessened, but I doubt they'd disappear. Because, again, I did not have the career limitations or threats that actual women did. For instance, I had a hard time getting "front of the house" jobs in high school and college despite the fact that I'm better at talking to strangers than your average person. I got steered into dishwashing and janitorial work rather than waiting tables (both of which pay less because there aren't tips involved). I never feared rape, but I've been in fistfights of the sort that most actual women never have to deal with. I doubt I was ever in danger of being sexually assaulted, but I sure did have to step quick to avoid ass-whuppings from dudes that would never dream of hitting a girl.

[the_physicist]

I see what you mean. they saw you as 'butch lesbian' so you didn't have to put up with 'be a good housewife and bear children!' stuff, but then they threw a truck load of homophobia on you. :( I'm really sorry you had to put up with that crap.

[varanus]

Yeah, it kinda sucked.

But I have to say that it wasn't all bad, and my pre-transition life has dovetailed very neatly with my current life, in a way that I don't think would be as easy if I'd actually been treated like a girl/woman. Being seen as an ersatz man isn't the worst thing in the world for someone who feels himself to be an actual man.