[controversial] on transmisogyny and male privilege
(apologies in advance because this possibly comes across as a 'what about the menz? :(' post. I've tried my best not to make it so, but this is a topic I'd like to discuss further)
Julia Serano coined the term 'transmisogyny' to describe the intersecting oppressions of transphobia and misogyny experienced by trans women, but what about how these two affect trans men? For instance, if someone condescendingly tells a trans man, "silly girl, you think you can be a man? :P" it would seem to likewise involve both transphobia and misogyny, but in a different form from that which affects trans women.
There seems to be a complete lack of dialogue around that area, and while it's definitely nowhere near as pervasive as the oppression faced by trans women, it still exists in some form, and it feels like an over-simplification of the matter to claim that trans men experience male privilege without anything to suggest that it's less than that experienced by cis men, and qualitatively different in some ways, especially taking transition stage into account.
I've been seeing that a lot of late in the online trans community, and it's hard to reconcile personally continuing to experience misogyny (either when perceived as a woman, or treated as one by people who are unaware that I'm trans) and having experienced it in the past (in some ways that were more damaging for me than if it had been to a cis woman because it had the added factor of identity invalidation and triggering dysphoria), with the notion that I simultaneously possess male privilege and am thus also partly responsible for that misogyny at the same time, even while being and having-been victimised by it.
I can definitely understand that I have privilege with respect to trans women, given the vastly different portrayals of trans men and trans women in the media and the disparity in hate crime rate, for starters, and how aspirations towards masculinity are praised while those to femininity are derided. But when in the binary world I spend most of my time in, the concept of 'trans men are men, therefore experience male privilege and do not experience misogyny because misogyny affects women' feels false to me and not at all in tune with what I've personally experienced, especially raised in a family with fairly conservative ideas about gender roles.
It dismisses a large chunk of my life, including many personally painful moments that arose specifically out of a lack of male privilege, and it's left me lost as to where exactly I stand in the gender hierarchy and what spaces I have a right to. While I know I don't belong in women's spaces, at the same time I find myself unable to fully identify within (or feel safe) in cis male spaces (which are the only male spaces I know, having only isolated trans male friends), because almost all cis men have uniformly experienced unquestioned male privilege since young, and there are so many parts of my life they just would not be able to understand in a personal way as women are able to. My brother for instance doesn't understand (and is scornful of) why I'm scared to be the only one at home when repairmen arrive to repair things, but years of being told by my mother that this is How Girls Get Raped has left a lasting mark on my psyche. And cis men in general have never received that socialisation, and that ignorance is a part of male privilege I will never be able to partake of.
looking for discussion, am willing to learn and correct myself if I may be wrong in whatever area or have been offensive - I know this a sensitive subject -, and hoping that the discussion can stay civil.
thanks.
Julia Serano coined the term 'transmisogyny' to describe the intersecting oppressions of transphobia and misogyny experienced by trans women, but what about how these two affect trans men? For instance, if someone condescendingly tells a trans man, "silly girl, you think you can be a man? :P" it would seem to likewise involve both transphobia and misogyny, but in a different form from that which affects trans women.
There seems to be a complete lack of dialogue around that area, and while it's definitely nowhere near as pervasive as the oppression faced by trans women, it still exists in some form, and it feels like an over-simplification of the matter to claim that trans men experience male privilege without anything to suggest that it's less than that experienced by cis men, and qualitatively different in some ways, especially taking transition stage into account.
I've been seeing that a lot of late in the online trans community, and it's hard to reconcile personally continuing to experience misogyny (either when perceived as a woman, or treated as one by people who are unaware that I'm trans) and having experienced it in the past (in some ways that were more damaging for me than if it had been to a cis woman because it had the added factor of identity invalidation and triggering dysphoria), with the notion that I simultaneously possess male privilege and am thus also partly responsible for that misogyny at the same time, even while being and having-been victimised by it.
I can definitely understand that I have privilege with respect to trans women, given the vastly different portrayals of trans men and trans women in the media and the disparity in hate crime rate, for starters, and how aspirations towards masculinity are praised while those to femininity are derided. But when in the binary world I spend most of my time in, the concept of 'trans men are men, therefore experience male privilege and do not experience misogyny because misogyny affects women' feels false to me and not at all in tune with what I've personally experienced, especially raised in a family with fairly conservative ideas about gender roles.
It dismisses a large chunk of my life, including many personally painful moments that arose specifically out of a lack of male privilege, and it's left me lost as to where exactly I stand in the gender hierarchy and what spaces I have a right to. While I know I don't belong in women's spaces, at the same time I find myself unable to fully identify within (or feel safe) in cis male spaces (which are the only male spaces I know, having only isolated trans male friends), because almost all cis men have uniformly experienced unquestioned male privilege since young, and there are so many parts of my life they just would not be able to understand in a personal way as women are able to. My brother for instance doesn't understand (and is scornful of) why I'm scared to be the only one at home when repairmen arrive to repair things, but years of being told by my mother that this is How Girls Get Raped has left a lasting mark on my psyche. And cis men in general have never received that socialisation, and that ignorance is a part of male privilege I will never be able to partake of.
looking for discussion, am willing to learn and correct myself if I may be wrong in whatever area or have been offensive - I know this a sensitive subject -, and hoping that the discussion can stay civil.
thanks.