Telling the parents...
I posted here previously with concerns about coming out at school, graduation, and a "friend" that was a little hesitant to switch names with me as I started my transition. Some people asked me to keep them updated, and I will once my summer break begins in a few weeks, but until then I have another question regarding coming out, this time to my parents. I want to do it before the end of this year, but I'm extremely worried about something...
I've just turned 16 this past April, and as such, I still live and depend heavily on my parents. I'm pretty much "out" completely at school, now I think it is time for my parents to know. One of the decisions I need to make is when, exactly, I want to do it, during the summer or right before the end of school. Somewhat easy decision to make, I suppose, but there's one thing stopping me from deciding.
I don't mean to exaggerate or blow this up--but I'm scared. While I want to tell my parents the whole truth, I genuinely fear their (or at least my father's) reaction will be violent. By the comments he makes I can tell my father is both homophobic and transphobic. He's said horrible things about harming gays and transsexuals, and it's at a point where I don't even voice my support or my own opinion on them because I don't want to argue.
He keeps his anger bottled up within him, but when he "explodes" it's frightening. I've seen him angry at my brother--he's taken up a weapon against him. And now that he owns a gun, I'm afraid of what he might do when I come out to him.
I know I can't predict what his reaction will be but I don't want to do anything that I feel may potentially put my life/health at risk.
The other option I had was to send a letter while I was in Kansas visiting my brother. I'd certainly feel safer, and they'd have time to have things sink in while I'm away. But I can only imagine being stuck in a car with them for 22 hours going back home, if they decide to pick me up at all. I'm thinking this is the best option even though I'd be virtually separated from the outside support I have back in my city.
So basically I'm wondering if anyone has any opinions on what I could or should do, or if I shouldn't worry at all and just do it. Would it be better to take my chances and tell them face-to-face, or send a letter?
I've just turned 16 this past April, and as such, I still live and depend heavily on my parents. I'm pretty much "out" completely at school, now I think it is time for my parents to know. One of the decisions I need to make is when, exactly, I want to do it, during the summer or right before the end of school. Somewhat easy decision to make, I suppose, but there's one thing stopping me from deciding.
I don't mean to exaggerate or blow this up--but I'm scared. While I want to tell my parents the whole truth, I genuinely fear their (or at least my father's) reaction will be violent. By the comments he makes I can tell my father is both homophobic and transphobic. He's said horrible things about harming gays and transsexuals, and it's at a point where I don't even voice my support or my own opinion on them because I don't want to argue.
He keeps his anger bottled up within him, but when he "explodes" it's frightening. I've seen him angry at my brother--he's taken up a weapon against him. And now that he owns a gun, I'm afraid of what he might do when I come out to him.
I know I can't predict what his reaction will be but I don't want to do anything that I feel may potentially put my life/health at risk.
The other option I had was to send a letter while I was in Kansas visiting my brother. I'd certainly feel safer, and they'd have time to have things sink in while I'm away. But I can only imagine being stuck in a car with them for 22 hours going back home, if they decide to pick me up at all. I'm thinking this is the best option even though I'd be virtually separated from the outside support I have back in my city.
So basically I'm wondering if anyone has any opinions on what I could or should do, or if I shouldn't worry at all and just do it. Would it be better to take my chances and tell them face-to-face, or send a letter?