Your Horoscope![](http://www.theonion.com/content/themes/onion/assets/horoscopes/horoscope_leo.gif)
Leo July 23 - August 22
Drinking is not the answer to your problems. However, since sex addiction is in fact the answer to all your problems, your lifestyle need not change.
On that note, I suppose I should mention that it would seem that I have a girlfriend now. Isn't that odd.