FIC: Super Junior, Hell's Angels
Title: Hell’s Angels
Fandom: Super Junior
Pairing: Siwon/Donghae, Kyuhyun/Sungmin
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 2706
Summary: Siwon is on God's side, but the feeling doesn't appear to be mutual.
Notes: So, since everyone and their mom has written Heaven/Hell AU, and I’m kind of easy to persuade into things, this is one of those things. Crack like whoa.
The difficult part about trees was getting up them. Not many people, except for maybe the ones missing their survival instinct, often tried to get up trees. Siwon was of the opinion that if a tree were taller than him, it was not meant to be climbed. Unless there was a kitten in it.
Siwon was a sucker for cute things. Not like Sungmin cute, where if you got too close, there was a high probability you would lose an appendage. Definitely Donghae cute, with the spacey atmosphere, and the real cuteness.
So, Siwon scaled the tree, years of working out proving very helpful, and when he was finally face to face with the little ball of grey fur, it leapt down to the branch below. And that was when lightning struck.
Hours later, or so it seemed, he found himself in a waiting room. It was very clean, very pastel blue, and there was a woman behind the counter wearing a smile Siwon might have been proud of, had he not just died. While saving kittens. Heechul was going to laugh.
“Choi Siwon, Seoul, South Korea, 9:30?” she called out, as if shouting his name made her day so much better. He moved to stand in front of her counter, and she pointed through the door to her left. Not eager to disobey, because he could have sworn he heard crying from the door on the right, he went to the left, and found himself in a large white office. The chair behind the desk was facing the wall, but Siwon was kind of busy because he’d just seen Gods hand flipping the pages of a file.
“Well, Siwon. I’ve been reading your file. And you are truly a perfect Christian.” The praise made Siwon so happy, he had to sit down. The chairs were quite comfortable, and when God swiveled around to face him, he was pleasantly surprised.
“You... look like my dad. I mean, I know you’re the Father, but you look just like...”
“Yes, I know. Now, Siwon, we need to have a talk.” God tented his fingers, and leaned forward on the desk. Siwon pulled his chair closer, because this was definitely going to be important. “I can’t let you into Heaven, Siwon.”
And since he had been listening so intently, the information was taken in, swirled around, and the response he came up with was, “No heaven?” except it came out sounding screechy, and whiny, and a little bit loud.
“Now, normally we would have sent you to the devil right away, but I think you deserve an explanation.” Siwon calmed down; maybe there was a good reason. Like, maybe he’d killed someone in his sleep or something. Or maybe this was about that time he’d kissed Heechul. “If I let you into Heaven, you would make us all look bad.”
“So I lived in a constant state of denial for nothing?” His voice was slightly panicky, because he’d lived without sex for twenty-two years, and the last time he’d checked, Donghae had been practically throwing himself at Siwon.
“You could say that. Janine will have all the information. Have a nice afterlife.”
Siwon didn’t get to say much else after that, because he was back out in the main part of the office, and the lady at the counter was holding out a piece of paper for him. It was printed very neatly in red letters.
‘See you in hell kid. -Satan’ He looked at the receptionist, who was patiently waiting for him to vacate the spot in front of her desk.
“You’ll want to go back to the elevator, and press the ‘B’ button. Here’s your key.” She passed him a card that said Welcome to Hell, and sent him on his way. Well, at least they were accommodating. He found the elevator without any trouble, probably because it was right outside the waiting area, and he had a quick moment to panic before the doors slid open.
“God has forsaken me.” he said, and pressed the ‘B’ button just as he was told.
---
Siwon spent a lot of time wallowing around in the place he shared with Ryeowook. He’d gotten used to the fires, and the heat, and the demons seemed to avoid him for the most part, but Ryeowook in hell was just not right. Or so he’d thought for about five minutes, until Ryeowook had regaled him with tales of a fiery plane crash, and ‘Wow, Hell is nicer than they let on.’ He’d had three years to think about it, and he kind of understood why God hadn’t let him into Heaven.
That didn’t change how Siwon felt about the situation, because he had only been doing what he was told to do, by God, and letting Heechul into Heaven was like salt on the wound. Oh yes, Heechul had gotten into Heaven. So had the rest of the group. They had all sent him cloud patterned memos, each expressing how sorry they were.
The note from Heechul was not his favorite thing to read when he needed cheering up. ‘Hahahahahahahaha! Message me back bitch. - Heechul of the Heavens’ with great emphasis put on Heavens. Siwon got the feeling that the last bit was just to be spiteful, and it worked, because how had Heechul even gotten into Heaven?
Donghae’s wasn’t much better, though Siwon kind of picked favorites with his band mates. ‘Well, that was unexpected. You must have done some really horrible things before we met you, because I’m pretty sure you’ve been a saint since then. Maybe god just wanted you to have sex with me, and he’s punishing you or something.’
Hell’s memos weren’t patterned or anything, and he’d heard the devil, who bore a striking resemblance to Lee Sooman, complaining about God taking all their paper. It sounded like God was a greedy bastard. Siwon was allowed to think that, since it was God’s fault he was spending his afterlife surrounded by demons.
So he messaged everyone back, explaining that God was not great, and hadn’t wanted to be dethroned. Heechul found that simply amazing. But it was Sungmin’s reply that got him sent to Hell.
‘I don’t get this whole Christian thing; I mean God really is a bastard. He said groping Kyuhyun in public was indecent. It wasn’t even public.’
Sungmin had been standing on his doorstep the next day, smiling unpleasantly, and craving revenge. Ryeowook had been so pleased to have him there; the two had gone prancing around the apartment, debating whether or not they could actually have Siwon dethrone God.
“Sungmin.” Siwon said one day, as Sungmin was getting ready to go observe the demons in their natural habitat. “Don’t you think you’re adapting to this too well?”
“No. If you get a message for me, send it with him.” He pointed at one of his minions, and left.
The mail came late that day, because the mail man had been caught in a traffic jam on Route 666, so Siwon had to explain that Sungmin wasn’t home, and Siwon was pretty sure that Sungmin wasn’t cruel enough to throw him in a pit of fire, despite what he said.
After sorting it out, and sending Sungmin’s underling off, Siwon flicked through his own letters, and eagerly opened up Donghae’s.
‘Sungmin has minions? Minions! As if he needs anyone to do his dirty work. Heechul’s pouting because there’s no one here who will listen to him. Hankyung is bad at pretending. So, since you got sent to hell anyways, do you regret not having sex with me?’ The answer was yes, and he wrote so, because Donghae was right, he’d done all that good work, and gotten nothing out of it but the not-so-fiery pits of hell.
‘Stop rubbing it in. He’s been here a week, and I think most of the demon population adores him. Heechul shouldn’t even be in Heaven. PS: Can’t you send someone male to hell?’
---
Kangin and Shindong showed up together, and they spent the day following Siwon around the apartment, very much like they had when they were alive. There were five people living in the single, and two of them were starting to get very catty.
“Sungmin ruined my new clothes. And his minions are starting to get on my nerves.” Ryeowook complained one morning, while he made breakfast. Siwon tried to look concerned, but if he moved against Sungmin, he could end up with scorpions in his bed, so he reasoned that Ryeowook had probably done something to deserve it.
“Pour lava in his shoes.” Kangin suggested mildly, looking around to make sure Sungmin was still out. Shindong agreed, and tipped Kangin’s bowl of cereal into his lap. “Get his too.”
Siwon decided they needed space. So he went to see Lucifer.
“You want more room? Do I look like someone who would be nice to you god loving creatures?” It was still a little disconcerting how the ruler of the underworld looked just like Lee Sooman, but the initial weirdness had passed in his first year.
Siwon hadn’t wanted to play this card, because it was hard to admit one had any relationship with a psycho, but for the sake of his sanity, and Ryeowook’s continued existence, he would.
“Sungmin is kind of my best friend.” He was all honestly, and sincerity and Siwon swore he saw fondness in Satan’s eyes. Sungmin couldn’t even maim him later, because if that was what it took to get him his own bedroom it would be worth it.
“Well that’s a different story then. You say there are five of you?” Siwon nodded, and leaned forward, trying not to look like a goody two shoes. It failed miserably, but it went unnoticed as Lucifer flicked through a binder. “Are you expecting any more arrivals?”
He hadn’t even thought of that, but now that it had been asked, Siwon guessed it made sense.
“There’ll be at least three more.” he said, not putting any faith in his band mate’s ability to stay on God’s good side. If he couldn’t, what chance did someone like Heechul have?
“There’s a pair of suites nearby that you can have. Tell Sungmin I said hi.” Siwon bowed, and left, eager to tell his roommates about the good news. Kangin and Shindong high fived, and Ryeowook looked ready to break down and cry, but Sungmin hung back for a moment.
“I’m going to need a double bed.” he said suddenly.
“Why?” As far as Siwon knew, Sungmin didn’t go for the demon type, and since he stayed away from the rest of the humans in Hell, there was really no reason for him to have a double bed.
“You’ll see.” And see they did, when Kyuhyun broke into the new suite the day after they moved in, shouting about how evil Sungmin was. As this was nothing really new, it took Siwon a minute to climb out of bed and make sure that it was actually Kyuhyun.
“What are you doing here?”
“He got me kicked out of Heaven!” Siwon wanted to ask, but knowing Sungmin, it was probably nothing he wanted to know. Sungmin opened his bedroom door and for the first time since he’d joined them in Hell, he actually looked like the old Sungmin. The one who at least tried to hide his real nature.
“Did you actually like it there?” he asked, staring Kyuhyun down. There were a few beats of silence, before the magnae shook his head. “So what’s the problem?” And there he was, the evil Sungmin with whom Siwon had been living with for the past few months, visible for only a moment before disappearing behind the door with Kyuhyun.
Siwon decided that was already too much information, and went for a walk.
---
‘I don’t think Heechul will last much longer. God said he wasn’t pretty. Sungmin sounds like he’s having fun. I miss you. I think you really should dethrone god.’ Siwon received three other letters, all very similar to Donghae’s, and was ready and waiting for the members to arrive. Heechul and Hankyung were the first ones through the door.
“Siwon! I never thought I’d say this, but I missed you! Nobody listens to me if you’re not around to make them.” Heechul nearly strangled him with the force of his hug, but thankfully noticed Sungmin when he was starting to need air.
Eeteuk said hello, and then disappeared to inspect their living conditions, just like any good mother would, while Donghae sauntered over looking very pleased with himself.
“I’m so clever.” he said, bouncing on his heels. “God really hates it when we talk about you dethroning him.”
“I’m not dethroning God! Did Sungmin say I was going to? Was it Ryeowook? They would like that, wou...” Donghae said he was talking too much. Or, Siwon thought he might have, if he wasn’t so busy throwing himself at Siwon, who had learnt his lesson. Saying no was not a good idea.
Unfortunately, Hell was getting kind of crowded, at least by people who knew Siwon, and they all wanted to know what the plan was. He wasn’t even aware there was a plan, let alone what it involved, but he was pretty sure he knew who would.
They found Sungmin and Kyuhyun lounging around in the devil’s office, discussing details about how to break into Heaven unnoticed, and the Prince of Darkness seemed all too happy to answer their questions.
“Well, that’s not possible, because God is something you humans call omnipresent, but I personally like to refer to it as annoying. He’s everywhere. In fact, he’s here, and knows what you’re planning.” Sungmin looked disappointed, but Kyuhyun was busy thinking.
Siwon almost hated to interfere, but someone had to, otherwise they really might come up with a plan for him to dethrone God.
“Sungmin.” Siwon said, leading the rest of the members, into the office. “Would you stop telling everyone that I want to dethrone God?”
“You want to dethrone God?” Satan asked, a pleasant look on his Lee Sooman-face. Sungmin and Kyuhyun swiveled around in their chairs, and adopted the same look. They were as surprised as Siwon had been, and he stared at Sungmin suspiciously.
“You’re not planning something like that?”
“Why would we plan something like that?” Kyuhyun asked, waving his hand, and smiling at Siwon like he was a child. It was kind of demoralizing, considering Kyuhyun’s age. “Sungmin wants his halo, but they took it when they kicked him out.”
“His halo.” The three seated parties nodded, and Siwon brought a hand up to cover his face. “Clearly you shouldn’t have had a halo in the first place Sungmin.”
“But it was cute.” Sungmin said, at the same time Kyuhyun said “It made for interesting role play.” Siwon, who had had quite enough of that conversation, turned around and dragged Donghae out of the office. When the others made to follow, he turned around to tell them off, but Donghae was already on it.
“Go away! I didn’t come to hell just so you could follow me around!” He wasn’t particularly frightening, but it got the point across, and that was all that really mattered.
---
Eventually the last three members joined them, each for their own ridiculous reasons. Yesung had tripped and pushed a fellow angel down a flight of steps, causing severe head trauma, and an eternal fear of stairs. Hyukjae had gotten thrown out for ‘dancing like a third rate hooker’ and corrupting some of the younger angels. Kibum’s departure wasn’t actually his fault, but some of the dead fan club members had idolized him more than God. He’d only encouraged them a little.
One day, God called on Siwon, but Siwon wouldn’t answer, so he had to go down to Hell to speak with him.
“Well, Siwon, this was all a test, and you’re allowed into Heaven now. Unfortunately, since they,” he gestured at the rest of the members, “are all here for legitimate reasons, they can’t come.”
“No, I think I’ll stay.” he said, clearly dismissing Him.
Siwon was more a Satanist than a Christian now, but he had enough decency to bow politely, before telling God where to go. Heaven.
Fandom: Super Junior
Pairing: Siwon/Donghae, Kyuhyun/Sungmin
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 2706
Summary: Siwon is on God's side, but the feeling doesn't appear to be mutual.
Notes: So, since everyone and their mom has written Heaven/Hell AU, and I’m kind of easy to persuade into things, this is one of those things. Crack like whoa.
The difficult part about trees was getting up them. Not many people, except for maybe the ones missing their survival instinct, often tried to get up trees. Siwon was of the opinion that if a tree were taller than him, it was not meant to be climbed. Unless there was a kitten in it.
Siwon was a sucker for cute things. Not like Sungmin cute, where if you got too close, there was a high probability you would lose an appendage. Definitely Donghae cute, with the spacey atmosphere, and the real cuteness.
So, Siwon scaled the tree, years of working out proving very helpful, and when he was finally face to face with the little ball of grey fur, it leapt down to the branch below. And that was when lightning struck.
Hours later, or so it seemed, he found himself in a waiting room. It was very clean, very pastel blue, and there was a woman behind the counter wearing a smile Siwon might have been proud of, had he not just died. While saving kittens. Heechul was going to laugh.
“Choi Siwon, Seoul, South Korea, 9:30?” she called out, as if shouting his name made her day so much better. He moved to stand in front of her counter, and she pointed through the door to her left. Not eager to disobey, because he could have sworn he heard crying from the door on the right, he went to the left, and found himself in a large white office. The chair behind the desk was facing the wall, but Siwon was kind of busy because he’d just seen Gods hand flipping the pages of a file.
“Well, Siwon. I’ve been reading your file. And you are truly a perfect Christian.” The praise made Siwon so happy, he had to sit down. The chairs were quite comfortable, and when God swiveled around to face him, he was pleasantly surprised.
“You... look like my dad. I mean, I know you’re the Father, but you look just like...”
“Yes, I know. Now, Siwon, we need to have a talk.” God tented his fingers, and leaned forward on the desk. Siwon pulled his chair closer, because this was definitely going to be important. “I can’t let you into Heaven, Siwon.”
And since he had been listening so intently, the information was taken in, swirled around, and the response he came up with was, “No heaven?” except it came out sounding screechy, and whiny, and a little bit loud.
“Now, normally we would have sent you to the devil right away, but I think you deserve an explanation.” Siwon calmed down; maybe there was a good reason. Like, maybe he’d killed someone in his sleep or something. Or maybe this was about that time he’d kissed Heechul. “If I let you into Heaven, you would make us all look bad.”
“So I lived in a constant state of denial for nothing?” His voice was slightly panicky, because he’d lived without sex for twenty-two years, and the last time he’d checked, Donghae had been practically throwing himself at Siwon.
“You could say that. Janine will have all the information. Have a nice afterlife.”
Siwon didn’t get to say much else after that, because he was back out in the main part of the office, and the lady at the counter was holding out a piece of paper for him. It was printed very neatly in red letters.
‘See you in hell kid. -Satan’ He looked at the receptionist, who was patiently waiting for him to vacate the spot in front of her desk.
“You’ll want to go back to the elevator, and press the ‘B’ button. Here’s your key.” She passed him a card that said Welcome to Hell, and sent him on his way. Well, at least they were accommodating. He found the elevator without any trouble, probably because it was right outside the waiting area, and he had a quick moment to panic before the doors slid open.
“God has forsaken me.” he said, and pressed the ‘B’ button just as he was told.
---
Siwon spent a lot of time wallowing around in the place he shared with Ryeowook. He’d gotten used to the fires, and the heat, and the demons seemed to avoid him for the most part, but Ryeowook in hell was just not right. Or so he’d thought for about five minutes, until Ryeowook had regaled him with tales of a fiery plane crash, and ‘Wow, Hell is nicer than they let on.’ He’d had three years to think about it, and he kind of understood why God hadn’t let him into Heaven.
That didn’t change how Siwon felt about the situation, because he had only been doing what he was told to do, by God, and letting Heechul into Heaven was like salt on the wound. Oh yes, Heechul had gotten into Heaven. So had the rest of the group. They had all sent him cloud patterned memos, each expressing how sorry they were.
The note from Heechul was not his favorite thing to read when he needed cheering up. ‘Hahahahahahahaha! Message me back bitch. - Heechul of the Heavens’ with great emphasis put on Heavens. Siwon got the feeling that the last bit was just to be spiteful, and it worked, because how had Heechul even gotten into Heaven?
Donghae’s wasn’t much better, though Siwon kind of picked favorites with his band mates. ‘Well, that was unexpected. You must have done some really horrible things before we met you, because I’m pretty sure you’ve been a saint since then. Maybe god just wanted you to have sex with me, and he’s punishing you or something.’
Hell’s memos weren’t patterned or anything, and he’d heard the devil, who bore a striking resemblance to Lee Sooman, complaining about God taking all their paper. It sounded like God was a greedy bastard. Siwon was allowed to think that, since it was God’s fault he was spending his afterlife surrounded by demons.
So he messaged everyone back, explaining that God was not great, and hadn’t wanted to be dethroned. Heechul found that simply amazing. But it was Sungmin’s reply that got him sent to Hell.
‘I don’t get this whole Christian thing; I mean God really is a bastard. He said groping Kyuhyun in public was indecent. It wasn’t even public.’
Sungmin had been standing on his doorstep the next day, smiling unpleasantly, and craving revenge. Ryeowook had been so pleased to have him there; the two had gone prancing around the apartment, debating whether or not they could actually have Siwon dethrone God.
“Sungmin.” Siwon said one day, as Sungmin was getting ready to go observe the demons in their natural habitat. “Don’t you think you’re adapting to this too well?”
“No. If you get a message for me, send it with him.” He pointed at one of his minions, and left.
The mail came late that day, because the mail man had been caught in a traffic jam on Route 666, so Siwon had to explain that Sungmin wasn’t home, and Siwon was pretty sure that Sungmin wasn’t cruel enough to throw him in a pit of fire, despite what he said.
After sorting it out, and sending Sungmin’s underling off, Siwon flicked through his own letters, and eagerly opened up Donghae’s.
‘Sungmin has minions? Minions! As if he needs anyone to do his dirty work. Heechul’s pouting because there’s no one here who will listen to him. Hankyung is bad at pretending. So, since you got sent to hell anyways, do you regret not having sex with me?’ The answer was yes, and he wrote so, because Donghae was right, he’d done all that good work, and gotten nothing out of it but the not-so-fiery pits of hell.
‘Stop rubbing it in. He’s been here a week, and I think most of the demon population adores him. Heechul shouldn’t even be in Heaven. PS: Can’t you send someone male to hell?’
---
Kangin and Shindong showed up together, and they spent the day following Siwon around the apartment, very much like they had when they were alive. There were five people living in the single, and two of them were starting to get very catty.
“Sungmin ruined my new clothes. And his minions are starting to get on my nerves.” Ryeowook complained one morning, while he made breakfast. Siwon tried to look concerned, but if he moved against Sungmin, he could end up with scorpions in his bed, so he reasoned that Ryeowook had probably done something to deserve it.
“Pour lava in his shoes.” Kangin suggested mildly, looking around to make sure Sungmin was still out. Shindong agreed, and tipped Kangin’s bowl of cereal into his lap. “Get his too.”
Siwon decided they needed space. So he went to see Lucifer.
“You want more room? Do I look like someone who would be nice to you god loving creatures?” It was still a little disconcerting how the ruler of the underworld looked just like Lee Sooman, but the initial weirdness had passed in his first year.
Siwon hadn’t wanted to play this card, because it was hard to admit one had any relationship with a psycho, but for the sake of his sanity, and Ryeowook’s continued existence, he would.
“Sungmin is kind of my best friend.” He was all honestly, and sincerity and Siwon swore he saw fondness in Satan’s eyes. Sungmin couldn’t even maim him later, because if that was what it took to get him his own bedroom it would be worth it.
“Well that’s a different story then. You say there are five of you?” Siwon nodded, and leaned forward, trying not to look like a goody two shoes. It failed miserably, but it went unnoticed as Lucifer flicked through a binder. “Are you expecting any more arrivals?”
He hadn’t even thought of that, but now that it had been asked, Siwon guessed it made sense.
“There’ll be at least three more.” he said, not putting any faith in his band mate’s ability to stay on God’s good side. If he couldn’t, what chance did someone like Heechul have?
“There’s a pair of suites nearby that you can have. Tell Sungmin I said hi.” Siwon bowed, and left, eager to tell his roommates about the good news. Kangin and Shindong high fived, and Ryeowook looked ready to break down and cry, but Sungmin hung back for a moment.
“I’m going to need a double bed.” he said suddenly.
“Why?” As far as Siwon knew, Sungmin didn’t go for the demon type, and since he stayed away from the rest of the humans in Hell, there was really no reason for him to have a double bed.
“You’ll see.” And see they did, when Kyuhyun broke into the new suite the day after they moved in, shouting about how evil Sungmin was. As this was nothing really new, it took Siwon a minute to climb out of bed and make sure that it was actually Kyuhyun.
“What are you doing here?”
“He got me kicked out of Heaven!” Siwon wanted to ask, but knowing Sungmin, it was probably nothing he wanted to know. Sungmin opened his bedroom door and for the first time since he’d joined them in Hell, he actually looked like the old Sungmin. The one who at least tried to hide his real nature.
“Did you actually like it there?” he asked, staring Kyuhyun down. There were a few beats of silence, before the magnae shook his head. “So what’s the problem?” And there he was, the evil Sungmin with whom Siwon had been living with for the past few months, visible for only a moment before disappearing behind the door with Kyuhyun.
Siwon decided that was already too much information, and went for a walk.
---
‘I don’t think Heechul will last much longer. God said he wasn’t pretty. Sungmin sounds like he’s having fun. I miss you. I think you really should dethrone god.’ Siwon received three other letters, all very similar to Donghae’s, and was ready and waiting for the members to arrive. Heechul and Hankyung were the first ones through the door.
“Siwon! I never thought I’d say this, but I missed you! Nobody listens to me if you’re not around to make them.” Heechul nearly strangled him with the force of his hug, but thankfully noticed Sungmin when he was starting to need air.
Eeteuk said hello, and then disappeared to inspect their living conditions, just like any good mother would, while Donghae sauntered over looking very pleased with himself.
“I’m so clever.” he said, bouncing on his heels. “God really hates it when we talk about you dethroning him.”
“I’m not dethroning God! Did Sungmin say I was going to? Was it Ryeowook? They would like that, wou...” Donghae said he was talking too much. Or, Siwon thought he might have, if he wasn’t so busy throwing himself at Siwon, who had learnt his lesson. Saying no was not a good idea.
Unfortunately, Hell was getting kind of crowded, at least by people who knew Siwon, and they all wanted to know what the plan was. He wasn’t even aware there was a plan, let alone what it involved, but he was pretty sure he knew who would.
They found Sungmin and Kyuhyun lounging around in the devil’s office, discussing details about how to break into Heaven unnoticed, and the Prince of Darkness seemed all too happy to answer their questions.
“Well, that’s not possible, because God is something you humans call omnipresent, but I personally like to refer to it as annoying. He’s everywhere. In fact, he’s here, and knows what you’re planning.” Sungmin looked disappointed, but Kyuhyun was busy thinking.
Siwon almost hated to interfere, but someone had to, otherwise they really might come up with a plan for him to dethrone God.
“Sungmin.” Siwon said, leading the rest of the members, into the office. “Would you stop telling everyone that I want to dethrone God?”
“You want to dethrone God?” Satan asked, a pleasant look on his Lee Sooman-face. Sungmin and Kyuhyun swiveled around in their chairs, and adopted the same look. They were as surprised as Siwon had been, and he stared at Sungmin suspiciously.
“You’re not planning something like that?”
“Why would we plan something like that?” Kyuhyun asked, waving his hand, and smiling at Siwon like he was a child. It was kind of demoralizing, considering Kyuhyun’s age. “Sungmin wants his halo, but they took it when they kicked him out.”
“His halo.” The three seated parties nodded, and Siwon brought a hand up to cover his face. “Clearly you shouldn’t have had a halo in the first place Sungmin.”
“But it was cute.” Sungmin said, at the same time Kyuhyun said “It made for interesting role play.” Siwon, who had had quite enough of that conversation, turned around and dragged Donghae out of the office. When the others made to follow, he turned around to tell them off, but Donghae was already on it.
“Go away! I didn’t come to hell just so you could follow me around!” He wasn’t particularly frightening, but it got the point across, and that was all that really mattered.
---
Eventually the last three members joined them, each for their own ridiculous reasons. Yesung had tripped and pushed a fellow angel down a flight of steps, causing severe head trauma, and an eternal fear of stairs. Hyukjae had gotten thrown out for ‘dancing like a third rate hooker’ and corrupting some of the younger angels. Kibum’s departure wasn’t actually his fault, but some of the dead fan club members had idolized him more than God. He’d only encouraged them a little.
One day, God called on Siwon, but Siwon wouldn’t answer, so he had to go down to Hell to speak with him.
“Well, Siwon, this was all a test, and you’re allowed into Heaven now. Unfortunately, since they,” he gestured at the rest of the members, “are all here for legitimate reasons, they can’t come.”
“No, I think I’ll stay.” he said, clearly dismissing Him.
Siwon was more a Satanist than a Christian now, but he had enough decency to bow politely, before telling God where to go. Heaven.