Changin' gears...
Ok. So I've managed to sort out most of my mixed grab bag of angst from over the weekend... I still can't sleep, so I am making a livejournal post. ...you know you're internet addiction has taken over when...
Assorted angsts (mostly starting Saturday, many caring over into the Sunday-Monday region):
princessnadia's sister's unexplained hospital visit, and
princessnadia's rushed leaving-town-to-visit- The Lebanon bombing killed eight Canadians who were vacationing, visiting their grandfather. Four of the dead were children under the age of eight.
- I was reading this.
- While I was reading that,
sethimothy sent me something that a friend of his had written. I worried about her, because there were very obviously some really shitty issues that she was trying to deal with, and I worried for him, because I knew that he'd be worried about her. - The weather was shitty.
- My parents are gone, and won't be back until Thursday, so I couldn't even whine about shit to my mum.
- I was having particularly bad menstrual cramps. Combined with uneasy worry stomach pain- my body hates me too. Fun.
- Sunday morning, I was crampy + stomach achey + angsty so bad I couldn't walk comfortably. I woke up around 1 pm.
- Sunday night, I took a sleeping pill to get some sleep and tried to talk to
sethimothy before going to bed. We talked for a little while, he said he'd call back around midnight. Instead, friend with troubles from above called. He called me back later in the night, I was knocked out to the point of not being able to hear my ringtone. No call. - Monday-day was grey and spooky and terrible. Not having actually done anything to deal with any of the above angst, I sort of let it ferment in my tummy and get worse all day.
- Monda-night was crazy terrible thunder/lightening/heavy rain. I know this sounds stupid, but I didn't feel safe. At all. At any point in the night. I called sethimothy around midnight to see if we could talk. He was busy with shit, said that he'd call around 2 or 3. That was ok. I decided to stay up until then, because there was no way I was going to fall asleep with the rain coming down. I went back to bed around two. No call. Three. No call. Four. Fuckit, I fell asleep. In my parent's bed.
- Tuesday morning was angsty post about "You didn't call me" in my livejournal. Sorry about that one- both to those of you that wanted an actual explaination, and to
sethimothy, whose phone was cut off around 2:30, so he couldn't call me. It was an automatic reaction to, what I felt was, abandonment and forgetting me and making me wait for a call that wasn't ever intended to come (combined with some Dan-baggage).
- My current supervisor at work has asked (and has been let) to keep me on her project instead of switching me over to the new project. Because I am evidently good enough at my shitty job to be let to continue my shitty job. Horray!
- I got the window seat today. :B This is good, because it means that in between doing my shitty job, and doing my shitty job some more, I can look out the window. Today I saw two hot air balloons, and two trains. And a squirrel!
- I've lost four pounds since I decided.. two weeks ago (?) ...to start losing weight. This is good, since all the changes I've made are ones I think that I'll be able to stick with. My half hour of exer-biking in the morning before my shower + fresh vegetables at lunch (with balogna sandwich OH BALOGNA SANDWICH, SO MUCH LOVE) + brisk fifteen minute walks on my breaks (because really, taking a sit-down break from a sit-down job would just blow) are things that I think that I'll be able to keep up with, even when I get back to school. SO. We'll see if this weight-goes-down business doesn't keep happening, yes?
SHORT VERSION: Things sucked, I feel better now.