blah

[tragedywhisper]

today I feel no modivation for anything .I was suppose to go take my cpt test today but i decided i will do it monday , that way I have more time to study . My lip still hurts a little , 2 days ago i bit it so hard i soaked a napkin with blood .Not sure what to do today dooring the day ....I was thinking of going to the store and geting some foods that I can eat with out worrying about it .Because if I have food that are not over 100 cals each it might help me to not eat something that is more fating .Dose not really matter eather way I am not eating today , I have been eating alot latley and i realy need to get back on track if i want to reach my goal befor x-mess .hmmm maybe i should work on my scrap book or use the food money and get some nice bath stuff and soak in a nice hot bath .....or maybe I should clean .I donno ,just got to keep distracted so I wont be thinking about eating or hunger paines .Why do I do this to myself? and put myself through hell ? *sigh* my therapist thinks because I feel I don't have controll over my life that i try to control my weight / food ect... .I don't know .
I really need to go to the office and do ACH I have been puting that off , maybe i can do that today to . Later tonight Josh is supposed to be going over to the nabers and he called me yesterday and said he hopes I am there , so I probably will do that tronight .I feel like dressing up today for some reasion lol . Maybe I will ,Then I can go to the cematery for a little wile .I also feel like singing so I am gonna go plug in my mic in a little bit and do that .
well thats all for now.