Into the Sun
Wow, I am amazed at how diferent my life is now versus two months ago when I wrote that last entry. Things have changed so much for me. Or maybe, I have just changed... I think it's the later more then the former. Granted I have been through a lot of change just in the last month. But really I think the difference lies not in my circumstances, but rather in the way I choose to perceive those circumstances.
I never knew life could be like this. I never knew that I could feel this free. I wonder if this is what people have been feeling all along that I have been so shut out of. Though I do realize that it was only me who was keeping myself bound in chains. I was the only one holding myself back, and now I am just not anymore.
I don't really believe that people are different everywhere. I do believe that there are some variations between towns and states, but not at the core of it. I still don't believe people when they say that all they need to do is get out of Brentwood. It's not true, but I do admit that it does help.
Mostly what needs to happen is that you need to get away from whatever bonds are keeping you shackled and suppressed. What you need is the ability to escape and to grow free without restrictions.
I do admit that my life has changed since leaving Brentwood, and that it is better. But it was not the act of leaving Brentwood that caused this change. What started my metamorphasis was the simple, yet complecated, act of letting go, of breaking free of the shackles and limitations that I had set upon myself and my growth.
The whole process began about five weeks before I left for school. I had been pushed to my limits countless times, yet each time I managed to hold onto my chains, fighting, tooth and nail, to stay in the delicately balanced cage I had created for myself. It was only after slipping through the bars without notice that my world began to change.
I began to realize that there was more to life and the world then the tiny plasitic bubble I had created. There was oh, so much more! An entire realm of possibilities then I had never even begun to imagine. No longer did I feel that my world was restricted to no's or unsurmountable obstacles. Finally I discovered that there were paths around the mountains in my life. Ones that would take me on a gentle slope through the treacherous terrain, instead of having to fight up the sheer cliffs. I found new possibilities, and new ways of looking at things.
And through this journey I also discovered people. Real people who cared and were there to help you, and work with you, so that together we might all overcome our mountains. Before all I had found were ghosts and vampires watching and waiting like scavengers, seeking to steal the last drops of blood as you clung fiercely to the fragile threads of life...
But that isn't my life anymore. My world has changed. It is no long the dark crypt of my nightmares. Like a child wakes from a bad dream, I have come into the bright sunlight of a new morning.
I never knew life could be like this. I never knew that I could feel this free. I wonder if this is what people have been feeling all along that I have been so shut out of. Though I do realize that it was only me who was keeping myself bound in chains. I was the only one holding myself back, and now I am just not anymore.
I don't really believe that people are different everywhere. I do believe that there are some variations between towns and states, but not at the core of it. I still don't believe people when they say that all they need to do is get out of Brentwood. It's not true, but I do admit that it does help.
Mostly what needs to happen is that you need to get away from whatever bonds are keeping you shackled and suppressed. What you need is the ability to escape and to grow free without restrictions.
I do admit that my life has changed since leaving Brentwood, and that it is better. But it was not the act of leaving Brentwood that caused this change. What started my metamorphasis was the simple, yet complecated, act of letting go, of breaking free of the shackles and limitations that I had set upon myself and my growth.
The whole process began about five weeks before I left for school. I had been pushed to my limits countless times, yet each time I managed to hold onto my chains, fighting, tooth and nail, to stay in the delicately balanced cage I had created for myself. It was only after slipping through the bars without notice that my world began to change.
I began to realize that there was more to life and the world then the tiny plasitic bubble I had created. There was oh, so much more! An entire realm of possibilities then I had never even begun to imagine. No longer did I feel that my world was restricted to no's or unsurmountable obstacles. Finally I discovered that there were paths around the mountains in my life. Ones that would take me on a gentle slope through the treacherous terrain, instead of having to fight up the sheer cliffs. I found new possibilities, and new ways of looking at things.
And through this journey I also discovered people. Real people who cared and were there to help you, and work with you, so that together we might all overcome our mountains. Before all I had found were ghosts and vampires watching and waiting like scavengers, seeking to steal the last drops of blood as you clung fiercely to the fragile threads of life...
But that isn't my life anymore. My world has changed. It is no long the dark crypt of my nightmares. Like a child wakes from a bad dream, I have come into the bright sunlight of a new morning.