[IC (Erenar)]
...I don't understand.
She said she loved me, she said she didn't have a problem with- all the things I either can't or don't know how to do, and now she says she's...not sure of her emotions and she just wants to be friends, and Light, how many times did I ask her if she was sure about this and why couldn't it have come up then? She told me she was sure, she told me she loved me. I was going to accompany her for the rest of her training.
I don't know what happened. I don't know why, after all the times she told me it was alright, it isn't. I had everything packed up to go to Northrend with her and I suppose it's a good thing I was prepared, but I didn't expect when I was putting it all together that I'd end up with all of it somewhere in ((inkblot)) where is this? Somewhere in the Plaguelands. I don't know. I just started walking.
I don't want to think about it except trying not to just makes me think of it more and trying to ignore how much it hurts makes it ache harder. I can't get it out of my head, maybe getting it here will help, I don't know.
I came back for her, I stayed by her side when she left the city, I've stayed with her in a place I can't stand where I was surrounded by paladins constantly, I broke the runeblade for her sake- was that just not enough? Is it because of what I am? Did she finally realize she was far too good for me and decide she could do better, find someone alive who knows what they're doing and knows how to love properly
I can't help but feel that I've just been playing at having some sort of normal life. It never works out. It's always something and I don't know, maybe I'm not meant for this. It isn't what I was re-made to do. All I've ever wanted out of this is some semblance of normalcy that isn't fleeting and doesn't just slip away from me soon as I've got it, and it continues to elude me. After a certain point one has to wonder if life isn't just giving you a series of hints that you're just not meant to be happy.
I don't have the heart to keep failing at this. I can't stay. I've learned better than to think 'just friends' ever really happens.
((I'm shelving the character for now, not sure if it's permanent retirement or not yet. If anyone needs him for anything in particular feel free to let me know, but I'm not going to be playing him otherwise.))
She said she loved me, she said she didn't have a problem with- all the things I either can't or don't know how to do, and now she says she's...not sure of her emotions and she just wants to be friends, and Light, how many times did I ask her if she was sure about this and why couldn't it have come up then? She told me she was sure, she told me she loved me. I was going to accompany her for the rest of her training.
I don't know what happened. I don't know why, after all the times she told me it was alright, it isn't. I had everything packed up to go to Northrend with her and I suppose it's a good thing I was prepared, but I didn't expect when I was putting it all together that I'd end up with all of it somewhere in ((inkblot)) where is this? Somewhere in the Plaguelands. I don't know. I just started walking.
I don't want to think about it except trying not to just makes me think of it more and trying to ignore how much it hurts makes it ache harder. I can't get it out of my head, maybe getting it here will help, I don't know.
I came back for her, I stayed by her side when she left the city, I've stayed with her in a place I can't stand where I was surrounded by paladins constantly, I broke the runeblade for her sake- was that just not enough? Is it because of what I am? Did she finally realize she was far too good for me and decide she could do better, find someone alive who knows what they're doing and knows how to love properly
I can't help but feel that I've just been playing at having some sort of normal life. It never works out. It's always something and I don't know, maybe I'm not meant for this. It isn't what I was re-made to do. All I've ever wanted out of this is some semblance of normalcy that isn't fleeting and doesn't just slip away from me soon as I've got it, and it continues to elude me. After a certain point one has to wonder if life isn't just giving you a series of hints that you're just not meant to be happy.
I don't have the heart to keep failing at this. I can't stay. I've learned better than to think 'just friends' ever really happens.
((I'm shelving the character for now, not sure if it's permanent retirement or not yet. If anyone needs him for anything in particular feel free to let me know, but I'm not going to be playing him otherwise.))