how it goes...
so i haven't updated lately and the last time i did i made it private. I dont need people coming in here leaving comments on my pitiful entrys. It would just be unnecessary.
Well things have been going.. okay. Like usual i'm on this fun little rollercoaster of life. Dru left me this weekend again for a few days. I decided like usual i was going to work. After i picked up sam (my lover) and we went to the basketball game and then out for coffee. THANK GOD!!! We talked forever there, i neede that so bad. She made me realize alot in life and that i'm not just another person standing in the world. I felt so much better. She gave me a lot of reassurance with things too. But then once again i come back to school and my gay mind takes control of everything and makes me mad or upset or soemthing. I'm truly only happy when i'm not here. Even after school. Every day i usually spend it with dru and it makes everything so much better. I wish i could figure out what was wrong. I dont really like talking about it, i dont want to be an "inconvience" or a "hypocondriate" WhAtEvEr!! I dont care what anyone really thinks anymore. I'm trying so hard to be the one thats strong and will nevr break down but underneath (as dru knows) i'm sensitive as hell. I guess i get to experience that by myself and i'm okay with that.
So now with my working out and body. When i first came to school i worked out hardcore in my weight training class. Since the middle of january i've been slipping. So a month and a half later, i'm not as "cut" as i used to be. I'M NOT LOOKING FOR SYMPATHY. This is just my journal and i'm typing what i wnat to type. So now sura and i are hardcore again. We got permission to run for 20 mins everyday last hour and then after that we do an ab workout and a few things that we were told to for the day. I look so sick after that class but it will all be worth it. I can't wait. :-) I want to be one of those grls that when my boy looks at anyone else at the beach he'll think, Traci is so much more cut, or fit. I know what you all are thinking "he should like you for how u are, or your fit enough" but this is what i want and i'm so determined that it will happen.
Leave a comment if you wish.. i dont care if its bad either
Well things have been going.. okay. Like usual i'm on this fun little rollercoaster of life. Dru left me this weekend again for a few days. I decided like usual i was going to work. After i picked up sam (my lover) and we went to the basketball game and then out for coffee. THANK GOD!!! We talked forever there, i neede that so bad. She made me realize alot in life and that i'm not just another person standing in the world. I felt so much better. She gave me a lot of reassurance with things too. But then once again i come back to school and my gay mind takes control of everything and makes me mad or upset or soemthing. I'm truly only happy when i'm not here. Even after school. Every day i usually spend it with dru and it makes everything so much better. I wish i could figure out what was wrong. I dont really like talking about it, i dont want to be an "inconvience" or a "hypocondriate" WhAtEvEr!! I dont care what anyone really thinks anymore. I'm trying so hard to be the one thats strong and will nevr break down but underneath (as dru knows) i'm sensitive as hell. I guess i get to experience that by myself and i'm okay with that.
So now with my working out and body. When i first came to school i worked out hardcore in my weight training class. Since the middle of january i've been slipping. So a month and a half later, i'm not as "cut" as i used to be. I'M NOT LOOKING FOR SYMPATHY. This is just my journal and i'm typing what i wnat to type. So now sura and i are hardcore again. We got permission to run for 20 mins everyday last hour and then after that we do an ab workout and a few things that we were told to for the day. I look so sick after that class but it will all be worth it. I can't wait. :-) I want to be one of those grls that when my boy looks at anyone else at the beach he'll think, Traci is so much more cut, or fit. I know what you all are thinking "he should like you for how u are, or your fit enough" but this is what i want and i'm so determined that it will happen.
Leave a comment if you wish.. i dont care if its bad either