"For you, Cindy Sondheim, always a longie!"
Having been duly informed that my LiveJournal is apparently the best cure for 4:00 am insomnia (O.o), I endeavor to consider the needs of others with posting more frequently. So like the sign says, "For you, Cindy Sondheim, always a longie!"*
Education
My Biology instructor responded to the madness of my email on the subject of the essay questions in her class with what amounts to a Post-It. She said not to worry, she'll look into the way she phrased the essay instructions on the test (although has yet said nothing about the advertisement of essay questions in general), and perhaps she can make the grade for my singular essay count for both. I'm getting the impression from other students and the overall picture that by "essay" the Biology teacher may have actually meant "long answer." You know how I roll, so surely you see that I consider these to be two oh so different things! I wrote an actual seven-paragraph essay to answer the one question, so maybe she'll be impressed with my English Major Fu, and this will turn okay for this chapter.
American History has carried me through the Great Depression and we're now into the start of World War II. I've studied the Depression before, but not since high school, and therefore more importantly not since having a sense of financial obligation. I'm looking at that era with new eyes. 25% overall unemployment in the United States. Time and again I've heard stories from my father born in 1924, from my "social grandmother" (actually my maternal grandfather's mistress) raised in Kansas during the Dust Bowl, from others of that age about what it was like. This study right now in current economic conditions in this country gives me new perspective on it, new incredulity, certainly. I'm enjoying it, and I wish that my current class had the time available to go into a little more detail on this era -- of course this flip side of that is that I'm happy that we don't have time for more than a touch on anything, so we'll be able to zoom through World War II at the same breakneck pace. I just find all wars to be the least interesting part of history. They're always so wasteful and such an interruption -- important, yes, but that perceived importance means that they get covered and covered and covered in seemingly every year of public education.
Two elements of study of the Great Depression have surprised me: One, what a colossal prick Herbert Hoover was! And that goes for all his cronies, too! He believed that private charities should be the parties responsible for helping Americans in need, and he actively encouraged them to go at it. He even gave them some federal funds. When private resources were exhausted, however, he had what I perceive as something of a, "Let them eat cake," attitude -- only no excuses about the real meaning or intent in that phrase. He thought that federal aid to needy citizens would hurt the country's pride too much. Pride??! Are you kidding? He really burns my bacon! Fortunately, he had that effect on a lot of people, and we got FDR out of it.
The other surprise is in my textbook's coverage of FDR. I've noticed along my journey that the text occasionally has issued opinions on the performance of past presidents, suggesting lightly that someone "wasn't up to the task" with something. The editorial comments became particularly strong with Roosevelt, and this just caught my attention as unusual for a textbook which I usually perceive as attempting to be neutral. The text criticizes FDR saying that sure, he did some good things, but he didn't do nearly enough, didn't spend enough money, didn't go far enough, could have done more, and so forth. Not, "Many people thought this at the time," or "Critics alleged," or anything, but the textbook outright stating this opinion. That's interesting to me.
Hobbit Domesticity
Yesterday started off somewhat slow and sluggishly which naturally meant that by late afternoon, I felt guilty, so I decided to alphabetize the lawn or something. In this case, I cleaned all 2.5 bathrooms in the house. This is one of my least favorite chores in the world, so I admit that it doesn't happen too often. When it does, it involves dusting the sideboards (an act which only EVER happens in the bathrooms), mopping, washing rugs, cleaning windows, the works!
Following that, I baked brownies since we were out of dessert items (which have only recently begun to grace our stores in my copious spare hobbit time, and at Ian's request). I accidentally shattered our brownie pan a few weeks ago by turning on the cold water on a steaming hot pan out of the oven. What was I thinking?! Oh wait, that's right -- I wasn't thinking! So off to Wal-Mart the other day to buy a new Pyrex dish. They come in a staggering variety of sizes and combinations of sets these days -- but none of them 9 x 9, which I wanted. I settled for 8 x 8 and kept the receipt, debating if that's really what I want. Ian convinced me to keep it, saying he prefers "cakelike" brownies anyhow. I have to admit that yesterday's first attempt with this new pan produced the most evenly cooked, wonderful brownies in quite awhile! 8 x 8 pan FTW, apparently!
Year of the Bonfire
Managed to get to the post office to mail gifts for friends the other day. They should be arriving soon, maybe today, maybe Saturday, and I can't wait to hear how they're received! Then I'll post some pictures for you.
Last night I spent a little time perusing some crafting communities here on LiveJournal before I went to bed, including craftgrrl, which I really like. It attracts people of all levels of talent, most hack amateurs like myself, sometimes professionals or near to it, and now and then someone who posts a doll made of tinfoil with stickers on it and a pot holder for a hat or something, with the caption, "I'm thinking of selling these on Etsy! What do you think?" Everyone in that community is so nice -- rarely an insult or a flame war. Everyone is so encouraging, I really like that. It always inspires me -- both in niceness and creativity. I fell asleep last night dreaming of handmade cards and beadwork, and birthday gifts, and hats. It was wonderful! I'm so happy I chose the creative theme for this year. It's really been an enriching journey.
On that note, I also started a new hat, this one a gift for Ian's mother. Ultimately it will not be a pirate hat, but I'm not even there yet. Knitters out there will laugh at the false starts on this project (and everyone else can tune out because it's boring): Knitting in the round, cast on 7s and then switch to 5s. Easy, right? Not for yours truly, apparently. I cast on 7s, and then grabbed a package of needles on which I read "5 mm" and got that 5 stuck in my head, and didn't realize they were 8s. I struggled to fit the tiny 7-stitches onto the 8 needles. Then I realized my blunder. Had to borrow the 5s from Mama since I didn't have any. She brought me one pair to borrow which have a 16" cable, and bought me a new pair that are pretty but questionably functional. They might be 29" or close to it. Tried those. The tips are blunt, really rounded, and they're not working well for this sport-weight project, hard to pick up. But I struggle through a row -- only to discover that I've knit this straight instead of in the round because I'm a complete idiot. So I take out all 107 stitches of Row 2 and start over. When I go to knit in the round properly, however, I realize that the weird acrylic rope connecting these needles just isn't bending properly for a small project, and these needles won't do at all for what I'm doing. So I switch them - yet again - to my mother's 5s, which work just fine. Now, FINALLY, I'm knitting the damn thing for real! I can't believe the false starts on this one, but some projects are just like that.
That New Year's Resolution About Writing
Ian is among the chorus of many -- oh so very many -- pounding into my head that I should actually write. Ian observes that I'm the most prolific writer he knows just in journaling -- as if this process is anything like creative writing, which for me, it very much is not. I couldn't knock out fiction stream-of-consciousness with the same vigor and ease with which I can describe the process of cleaning my bathroom (and I KNOW you were riveted to that story!).
I mentioned that I'm in debate about what to do about school registration for the Spring semester which is happening shortly. All the good air may have been breathed up by the time I get to register, and I can't commit to a class which requires me to be in Austin, so I'm in a tight spot with school. I told Ian recently that if I don't take a class next semester, maybe I'll try to spend some time researching that novel about the American Revolution I've had kicking around in my head for awhile... Of course, I've made as many promises to start writing someday as there are stars. It's just the story -- I don't feel like I have a good one. I am forever cursed to wander the land alone like the Incredible Hulk with F. Scott Fitzgerald's words ringing in my ears about, "People write because they have something to say, not because they want to say something." (I can certainly tell you what I think the "F" stands for in his name, I assure you of that.)
I watch the fat people on, "The Biggest Loser" go through their emotional breakdowns as they realize that they wear their fat as a shield. They fear people won't like them or love them for who they really are, so they carry the fat so that they can use that as an excuse. They can blame the fat as the reason they feel less liked or less loved than they want to feel. I've had deep conversations with myself and my fat, and I don't think fat is my shield. My fat has everything to do with my lack of confidence in use of my body -- but that was a Year of the Leopard issue. Where I'm going now is that I see this same tendency in a lot of people around me. People choose to be the "outsider," so they won't really be on the outside, or they sabotage themselves first before anyone else can. I wonder about this a lot. For myself, I have to admit that this shielding is central to my lack of "real" writing. What if I write something real, invest myself in an actual project that isn't just off the cuff "for fun," and people don't like it? Perhaps with words I am penny wise but pound foolish. What if the fans among my friends aren't impressed, or what if they were the only ones who were? Isn't it simply easier to have untapped potential, to be considered a brilliant underachiever rather than a mediocre hard worker?
This is hardly news to me here, and logically - wonderful cold logic in space where no one can hear you scream - I understand the reasons here. I can look at myself from the outside the same as I look on others who sabotage their potential similarly, and sure, it's easy to merely say, "Only one way to find out!" Very easy. It's even easier to spot something shiny and go do that instead of writing for real, however.
So Ian, Louis, Jealousy, Chris, you know... everyone... there ya go. There it is.
Thoughts for the day to help you sleep at 4:00 in the morning!
T$
* I can rest easy knowing there is at least one person out there pickin' up what I'm puttin' down.
Education
My Biology instructor responded to the madness of my email on the subject of the essay questions in her class with what amounts to a Post-It. She said not to worry, she'll look into the way she phrased the essay instructions on the test (although has yet said nothing about the advertisement of essay questions in general), and perhaps she can make the grade for my singular essay count for both. I'm getting the impression from other students and the overall picture that by "essay" the Biology teacher may have actually meant "long answer." You know how I roll, so surely you see that I consider these to be two oh so different things! I wrote an actual seven-paragraph essay to answer the one question, so maybe she'll be impressed with my English Major Fu, and this will turn okay for this chapter.
American History has carried me through the Great Depression and we're now into the start of World War II. I've studied the Depression before, but not since high school, and therefore more importantly not since having a sense of financial obligation. I'm looking at that era with new eyes. 25% overall unemployment in the United States. Time and again I've heard stories from my father born in 1924, from my "social grandmother" (actually my maternal grandfather's mistress) raised in Kansas during the Dust Bowl, from others of that age about what it was like. This study right now in current economic conditions in this country gives me new perspective on it, new incredulity, certainly. I'm enjoying it, and I wish that my current class had the time available to go into a little more detail on this era -- of course this flip side of that is that I'm happy that we don't have time for more than a touch on anything, so we'll be able to zoom through World War II at the same breakneck pace. I just find all wars to be the least interesting part of history. They're always so wasteful and such an interruption -- important, yes, but that perceived importance means that they get covered and covered and covered in seemingly every year of public education.
Two elements of study of the Great Depression have surprised me: One, what a colossal prick Herbert Hoover was! And that goes for all his cronies, too! He believed that private charities should be the parties responsible for helping Americans in need, and he actively encouraged them to go at it. He even gave them some federal funds. When private resources were exhausted, however, he had what I perceive as something of a, "Let them eat cake," attitude -- only no excuses about the real meaning or intent in that phrase. He thought that federal aid to needy citizens would hurt the country's pride too much. Pride??! Are you kidding? He really burns my bacon! Fortunately, he had that effect on a lot of people, and we got FDR out of it.
The other surprise is in my textbook's coverage of FDR. I've noticed along my journey that the text occasionally has issued opinions on the performance of past presidents, suggesting lightly that someone "wasn't up to the task" with something. The editorial comments became particularly strong with Roosevelt, and this just caught my attention as unusual for a textbook which I usually perceive as attempting to be neutral. The text criticizes FDR saying that sure, he did some good things, but he didn't do nearly enough, didn't spend enough money, didn't go far enough, could have done more, and so forth. Not, "Many people thought this at the time," or "Critics alleged," or anything, but the textbook outright stating this opinion. That's interesting to me.
Hobbit Domesticity
Yesterday started off somewhat slow and sluggishly which naturally meant that by late afternoon, I felt guilty, so I decided to alphabetize the lawn or something. In this case, I cleaned all 2.5 bathrooms in the house. This is one of my least favorite chores in the world, so I admit that it doesn't happen too often. When it does, it involves dusting the sideboards (an act which only EVER happens in the bathrooms), mopping, washing rugs, cleaning windows, the works!
Following that, I baked brownies since we were out of dessert items (which have only recently begun to grace our stores in my copious spare hobbit time, and at Ian's request). I accidentally shattered our brownie pan a few weeks ago by turning on the cold water on a steaming hot pan out of the oven. What was I thinking?! Oh wait, that's right -- I wasn't thinking! So off to Wal-Mart the other day to buy a new Pyrex dish. They come in a staggering variety of sizes and combinations of sets these days -- but none of them 9 x 9, which I wanted. I settled for 8 x 8 and kept the receipt, debating if that's really what I want. Ian convinced me to keep it, saying he prefers "cakelike" brownies anyhow. I have to admit that yesterday's first attempt with this new pan produced the most evenly cooked, wonderful brownies in quite awhile! 8 x 8 pan FTW, apparently!
Year of the Bonfire
Managed to get to the post office to mail gifts for friends the other day. They should be arriving soon, maybe today, maybe Saturday, and I can't wait to hear how they're received! Then I'll post some pictures for you.
Last night I spent a little time perusing some crafting communities here on LiveJournal before I went to bed, including craftgrrl, which I really like. It attracts people of all levels of talent, most hack amateurs like myself, sometimes professionals or near to it, and now and then someone who posts a doll made of tinfoil with stickers on it and a pot holder for a hat or something, with the caption, "I'm thinking of selling these on Etsy! What do you think?" Everyone in that community is so nice -- rarely an insult or a flame war. Everyone is so encouraging, I really like that. It always inspires me -- both in niceness and creativity. I fell asleep last night dreaming of handmade cards and beadwork, and birthday gifts, and hats. It was wonderful! I'm so happy I chose the creative theme for this year. It's really been an enriching journey.
On that note, I also started a new hat, this one a gift for Ian's mother. Ultimately it will not be a pirate hat, but I'm not even there yet. Knitters out there will laugh at the false starts on this project (and everyone else can tune out because it's boring): Knitting in the round, cast on 7s and then switch to 5s. Easy, right? Not for yours truly, apparently. I cast on 7s, and then grabbed a package of needles on which I read "5 mm" and got that 5 stuck in my head, and didn't realize they were 8s. I struggled to fit the tiny 7-stitches onto the 8 needles. Then I realized my blunder. Had to borrow the 5s from Mama since I didn't have any. She brought me one pair to borrow which have a 16" cable, and bought me a new pair that are pretty but questionably functional. They might be 29" or close to it. Tried those. The tips are blunt, really rounded, and they're not working well for this sport-weight project, hard to pick up. But I struggle through a row -- only to discover that I've knit this straight instead of in the round because I'm a complete idiot. So I take out all 107 stitches of Row 2 and start over. When I go to knit in the round properly, however, I realize that the weird acrylic rope connecting these needles just isn't bending properly for a small project, and these needles won't do at all for what I'm doing. So I switch them - yet again - to my mother's 5s, which work just fine. Now, FINALLY, I'm knitting the damn thing for real! I can't believe the false starts on this one, but some projects are just like that.
That New Year's Resolution About Writing
Ian is among the chorus of many -- oh so very many -- pounding into my head that I should actually write. Ian observes that I'm the most prolific writer he knows just in journaling -- as if this process is anything like creative writing, which for me, it very much is not. I couldn't knock out fiction stream-of-consciousness with the same vigor and ease with which I can describe the process of cleaning my bathroom (and I KNOW you were riveted to that story!).
I mentioned that I'm in debate about what to do about school registration for the Spring semester which is happening shortly. All the good air may have been breathed up by the time I get to register, and I can't commit to a class which requires me to be in Austin, so I'm in a tight spot with school. I told Ian recently that if I don't take a class next semester, maybe I'll try to spend some time researching that novel about the American Revolution I've had kicking around in my head for awhile... Of course, I've made as many promises to start writing someday as there are stars. It's just the story -- I don't feel like I have a good one. I am forever cursed to wander the land alone like the Incredible Hulk with F. Scott Fitzgerald's words ringing in my ears about, "People write because they have something to say, not because they want to say something." (I can certainly tell you what I think the "F" stands for in his name, I assure you of that.)
I watch the fat people on, "The Biggest Loser" go through their emotional breakdowns as they realize that they wear their fat as a shield. They fear people won't like them or love them for who they really are, so they carry the fat so that they can use that as an excuse. They can blame the fat as the reason they feel less liked or less loved than they want to feel. I've had deep conversations with myself and my fat, and I don't think fat is my shield. My fat has everything to do with my lack of confidence in use of my body -- but that was a Year of the Leopard issue. Where I'm going now is that I see this same tendency in a lot of people around me. People choose to be the "outsider," so they won't really be on the outside, or they sabotage themselves first before anyone else can. I wonder about this a lot. For myself, I have to admit that this shielding is central to my lack of "real" writing. What if I write something real, invest myself in an actual project that isn't just off the cuff "for fun," and people don't like it? Perhaps with words I am penny wise but pound foolish. What if the fans among my friends aren't impressed, or what if they were the only ones who were? Isn't it simply easier to have untapped potential, to be considered a brilliant underachiever rather than a mediocre hard worker?
This is hardly news to me here, and logically - wonderful cold logic in space where no one can hear you scream - I understand the reasons here. I can look at myself from the outside the same as I look on others who sabotage their potential similarly, and sure, it's easy to merely say, "Only one way to find out!" Very easy. It's even easier to spot something shiny and go do that instead of writing for real, however.
So Ian, Louis, Jealousy, Chris, you know... everyone... there ya go. There it is.
Thoughts for the day to help you sleep at 4:00 in the morning!
T$
* I can rest easy knowing there is at least one person out there pickin' up what I'm puttin' down.