What I want out of this life
I'm waxing a bit on the philosophical side today at the start of the planned Grand Reopening of my life. I went back to my paper journal, one I've kept through the best of times and the worst of times through the past five years. Page 173, August 9, 1999, I have listed a set of affirmations about the person I want to be.
I am fun to be around.
I am funny.
I stand up for my friends.
I am strong.
I am philosophical.
I am spiritual.
I am an optimist.
I smell good!
I laugh easily.
I am willing to admit when I am wrong.
I inspire others to good things.
I am straightforward.
I express creativity.
I am open.
My home is a wonderland.
Three years later, that list really hasn't changed. I haven't put any monumental thought into the update, but I can't think what I'd change from that off the top of my head...except maybe throwing in the towel on that one about admitting when I'm wrong. It's nice to want, and all, but we can't escape our basic natures, can we?
The next page elaborated on that final point.
My home is full of color.
My home smells like incense.
My home is neat.
My home's decor is eclectic.
My home displays fantasy artwork.
My home is illuminated by candles, and other interesting mood lighting.
My home is filled with music.
My home has things hanging from the ceiling.
The home is getting there. A room in which to dream is an excellent start.
Been involved in an interesting exchange of email with a distant acquaintance I'm actively trying to get to know better. He's a tough nut to crack, as the saying goes. Again, I wonder if that is how I must seem to those around me? My penpal tells me that one way in which he will define his life as successful is when he can look back and always note, "This has been a very cool life."
That qualifier has gotten me thinking. My life is easily pretty cool. I might even go so far as to pronounce it outright Cool without a qualifier. I feel I can check off most of the things on the two lists above, anyhow. That should give this life pretty good marks, right?
It's the third list that amusing me more than anything, Page 202, January 24, 2000, Things I Want To Do In This Life:
Run my own LARP
Own my own house
Paint the rooms bold colors
Own a car with flames and a mini-disc player
Return to the Esplanade for the 4th of July
Have dinner in a spinning restaurant
Travel to Hong Kong, Florence, Ireland, and Spain
Swin in the Caribbean Sea
Spend a week in a swanky hotel in Vegas
Get married in Vegas (Disney counts; there were pillars of fire!)
Raise a daughter
Have a library full of fancy leather-bound books
Fill my house with stained glass
Host a wine tasting and know what I'm doing
Learn how to sweep my hair up into those fancy curls on top of my head
Fly somewhere and stay in a hotel just for a concert
Learn to walk gracefully in 3" heels
Own my own business
Write a book
Have a child named after me
Own a large, gaudy emerald-cut garnet or amethyst ring
I also included "Own a dog again," but I think I've outgrown that particular need.
When some indeterminate greater number of items on that list is crossed off, and I have excellent stories to go with each of them, then I think I'll have led a very cool life. Not until then.
Traceroo
I am fun to be around.
I am funny.
I stand up for my friends.
I am strong.
I am philosophical.
I am spiritual.
I am an optimist.
I smell good!
I laugh easily.
I am willing to admit when I am wrong.
I inspire others to good things.
I am straightforward.
I express creativity.
I am open.
My home is a wonderland.
Three years later, that list really hasn't changed. I haven't put any monumental thought into the update, but I can't think what I'd change from that off the top of my head...except maybe throwing in the towel on that one about admitting when I'm wrong. It's nice to want, and all, but we can't escape our basic natures, can we?
The next page elaborated on that final point.
My home is full of color.
My home smells like incense.
My home is neat.
My home's decor is eclectic.
My home displays fantasy artwork.
My home is illuminated by candles, and other interesting mood lighting.
My home is filled with music.
My home has things hanging from the ceiling.
The home is getting there. A room in which to dream is an excellent start.
Been involved in an interesting exchange of email with a distant acquaintance I'm actively trying to get to know better. He's a tough nut to crack, as the saying goes. Again, I wonder if that is how I must seem to those around me? My penpal tells me that one way in which he will define his life as successful is when he can look back and always note, "This has been a very cool life."
That qualifier has gotten me thinking. My life is easily pretty cool. I might even go so far as to pronounce it outright Cool without a qualifier. I feel I can check off most of the things on the two lists above, anyhow. That should give this life pretty good marks, right?
It's the third list that amusing me more than anything, Page 202, January 24, 2000, Things I Want To Do In This Life:
Run my own LARP
Own my own house
Paint the rooms bold colors
Own a car with flames and a mini-disc player
Return to the Esplanade for the 4th of July
Have dinner in a spinning restaurant
Travel to Hong Kong, Florence, Ireland, and Spain
Swin in the Caribbean Sea
Spend a week in a swanky hotel in Vegas
Get married in Vegas (Disney counts; there were pillars of fire!)
Raise a daughter
Have a library full of fancy leather-bound books
Fill my house with stained glass
Host a wine tasting and know what I'm doing
Learn how to sweep my hair up into those fancy curls on top of my head
Fly somewhere and stay in a hotel just for a concert
Learn to walk gracefully in 3" heels
Own my own business
Write a book
Have a child named after me
Own a large, gaudy emerald-cut garnet or amethyst ring
I also included "Own a dog again," but I think I've outgrown that particular need.
When some indeterminate greater number of items on that list is crossed off, and I have excellent stories to go with each of them, then I think I'll have led a very cool life. Not until then.
Traceroo